Road to Singapore Page #2

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Pull away, Wally.

Don't scratch my boat. This

is where the home guard...

Preserve your

strength.

Stay with it.

Give it a little slack.

A little slack? He's got me

peeled down to the nub now.

Watch it. Hold it! I think we've

got one of the Cherry brothers.

Give them plenty of slack.

Just let it out.

He must go

200 pounds.

He goes 400

if he goes an ounce.

He isnt

any sardine.

There they are.

I'd like to get a picture.

Would you mind

standing up?

I'd like a picture of

Mr. Wycott and your family.

Would you put your hand on Mr.

Wycott's shoulder? Of course.

That's fine. And gentlemen,

try to look a little happy;

you know, prospective

fathers-in-law and all that.

Miss Wycott, will you move

closer to your brother?

Gordon, please.

If you'd care

to wait a few days,

she has a fianc coming. Gordon!

That's all right. He'll be

here directly. That's fine.

Smile... pretty.

That's it. Thank you.

Whoa, he's a big one.

Hold it.

He's more tired than we

are. What do you mean, "we"?

Get it.

I think I've

got them now.

See if I can

hoist him in.

Get that gaff.

We'll have them here in a minute,

if he don't have me down there.

Step into the office.

Come in.

Mm. I don't know if I'll

have him filleted or broiled.

How would you like him?

I'd like him in the boat.

That's not a bad idea.

Hey, he's still alive.

He won't give up.

He must be a Republican.

There you are.

I've been looking for you.

I've been looking for you.

Where's that boy of yours?

There are guests, you know,

I'm starving, and...

I suppose he's planning

a surprise for us.

Okay, up we go.

Yes, sir, they'll

never believe it.

Tie that boat off, will you? Aye, aye.

What a battle

he put up, huh?

There we go. Easy now. Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

Surprise, eh?

Hi, gang.

Look what we've got.

It took us four hours.

Hi, honey.

Hello, Skipper.

You know Ace. I brought

him along for laughs.

- When do we eat?

- Hi, folks. Hi, Skipper.

Who's the boyfriend? Barnacle Bill? Shh.

Get a load of that character. Who's that?

That's one of the

zeros in the 400.

Miss Wycott, how about

one of you and Mr. Mallon?

Get me with the fish.

No, darling, after dinner.

Don't you think you'd better

dress? It won't take us a minute.

I'll slip you into something

flimsy. Will they excuse us?

Officer, get that fish

off this deck. Right.

He's a riot. He can

go on like that all night.

It's nothing at all. So I see.

You mean you want more? Yes.

Ace is hot tonight,

isn't he?

Is he going to stay at that

piano all evening? Oh, no.

He's got some other stuff.

He's just limbering up.

Hey, drums.

A crowd has stormed

the music hall

Won't someone please

put in a riot call

- Where's Captain Custard

- Custard! Custard!

They're milling left

they're swarming right

This always happens

when they have bank night

Where's Captain Custard

Here's Captain Custard

undaunted and unflustered

With his troops

officially mustered

No ushers are greater

in any theater

In town

Quick! Can't you see, sir

Oh goodness gracious me, sir

Will you look

at Company "B", sir

I think

they're retreating

This bank night

is beating them down

He'll halt their advances

With firm and fearless

glances

They shall not pass

the center aisle

'Cause he's armed to the teeth

with a winsome smile

Captain Custard

undaunted and unflustered

And around him

women are clustered

He knows all their wishes

they're waiting for dishes

It's not his uniform

spic 'n spruce

Cause he looks too much

like a Charlotte Russe

Oh, Captain Cussie

Miss?

Do you think I could hire

your friend for a stag party?

You got to take both of us.

We work together.

Oh, sir

on the QT.

I'm private tutti-frutti and

I'm now reporting' for duty

You'll find

while I'm here, sir

No one is fiercer than me 'Tens Hun!

I'm one of those creatures who

thrives on double features

My devastating charm

will count

I'm in there pitching' for Paramount Aaah!

Pardon my stating

but I'm so captivating

That the folks won't notice

they're waiting'

They'll stand defeated

and smile though unseated

I've got more medals

across my chest

Than in all West Point

or in all points west

Cute, tutti-frutti

Pvt. Tutti-Frutti,

Yes.

I award you the medal

for finding that pocketbook...

and returning half the

money. It was nothing at all.

Does that go with it? That's it.

Oh-ho-ho.

Well...

'Tens Hun!

'Tens Hun!

For bravery.

I'll mail

it to you.

Getting rough,

aren't they, Gordon?

There they go!

Ow-ow-ow-ow.

What do you want? Same as

you, but you're the captain.

You wouldn't know how to

handle this. What do you mean?

Give me your medals. You Indian

giver. Leave me ammunition.

This is out of your

department. It's chilly outside.

Yes, it is.

I said...

Ohm!

Oh, Captain Custard

Watch.

What is it?

Bank night?

What's that for?

To buy yourself

a hand organ...

and a red hat

for your monkey.

Me? Yeah. Let's show him

that other number we do.

Patty-cake, patty-cake,

baker's man.

Bake a cake

as fast as you...

He's made us the laughingstock

of the whole country!

I demand a public apology.

You've got to bring him back.

Back from where?

All we know is this.

What's this?

The gentleman on the right

is your prospective son-in-law.

Yes, Mr. Mallon.

I want a listing of every ship

that left Honolulu...

in the past three weeks. Yes, sir.

You've got to bring him back

on his hands and knees,

if you have to break his neck to do

it. What are you getting excited for?

I'm the one who should be

excited, and I'm perfectly calm.

He can't have gone far, unless he fell

overboard, which is too much to hope for.

He must be somewhere

on there.

There she goes.

And here we are.

And as our ship of dreams

sails into the golden sunset...

Leaving the magic

isle of Kaigoon...

And the rover boys

in peace and quiet...

far, far from

the workaday world...

Ta-da-la-da.

Ta-da-la-da.

Da-da-da-da.

Ra-ta-ta-ta.

That washes up

Gloria and Cherry.

Do you realize how close I

came to getting' hooked? Me too.

We've got to agree

right now... no more women.

No women of any kind, size,

shape, or color. Not even midgets.

If either one of us even looks

at anything in a skirt,

the other can clip his ears off

and stuff them down his throat.

I hope you choke. How you

going to look streamlined?

Get a load of this.

Hmm?

Marvelous invention.

Should be one in every home.

That's a tropical

incinerator.

How 'bout this, huh?

Soft as goofer feathers. Who wrote

that song, "This Is The Life"?

This is the joint we've been

looking' for. How you going to beat it?

Lay in the hot sun,

reach up and get a coconut,

throw a hook out,

and you get a fish.

- How much you holding'?

- We're loaded... $ 1.28, net.

That should be enough to light a

fire under a couple of short beers.

Are you ready?

Coming'. Coming'.

Five.

This one's on you,

my friend.

Cut.

Wait.

What's cooking'?

Bravo!

I think he wants her to

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