Road to Singapore Page #4

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Ho-ho-ho. You ought to cut a

firebreak in it. Absolutely!

Does your chest ever get

jealous of your upper lip?

A mighty

pretty thing!

There's a spot!

Right there!

Disgusting,

isn't it?

Well, I go. Oh, no, not with our spot.

The spot, she stays. But I go. Wait.

Come right up.

We're not going to harm you.

Watch this... an

amazing demonstration.

Ixnay, ixnay.

You're overdoing it.

A new assistant. Don't worry,

there'll be no extra charge.

Watch closely. I'll

have it gone like that!

Pretty bad spot.

How'd that happen?

Well, I...

Is it ink?

Couldn't be. You have to

be able to write for that.

Is it soup? No, but you're getting hot.

Bubbles a little,

but it'll quiet right down.

Ye gads!

It's alive!

Nothing to worry about. I'll

have it out... just like that?

Look, folks, Spotto,

the housewife's friend,

the working man's delight.

Look. Just like a blonde riding a

white horse through a flock of swans.

What am I going to do

with all this lather?

There's nothing to worry about.

If nobody claims it in 30 days,

brother, it's yours.

That's all right.

You never have to be

alarmed about Spotto.

We're taking' it

on the lam.

All right, just stand by.

I'll clean off that spot.

There you are, my friend.

Just like I told you...

no brush, no lather, no spot.

No coat!

So I am not neat.

Fake!

Fake! Fake!

Why didn't you try out that

stuff before you used it?

I did once before in

Brooklyn. What happened?

Same thing.

Ohm!

Ohm

Ohm

Carry me back

To old Virginie

Ohm

That's where

the cotton

And the corn

and the 'taters grow

Stop it!

Stop it!

I've got work to do, and you're

making a nuisance of yourself.

Yes, and I'm doing an

awfully good job of it too.

I'm going to report

you to the police.

Where's

Mr. Willow?

Your whole attitude

is "abdominal"!

I'm sure that's not

the word I mean.

Mr. Willow?

It's from the home office,

direct to me.

It's probably

that you're fired.

Well, come on.

What does it say?

None of

your business.

It's confidential.

That face!

Who is that face? Mr.

Mallon's son. He's missing.

Missing?

He's here in Kaigoon.

How could he

be in Kaigoon?

How could he be

in Kaigoon? Listen.

I'm walking down the street.

This fellow grabs me,

takes me by the coat. I

struggle, but I cannot get away.

He pulls me.

He pulls me.

All right, he's here.

Let me go. He shakes me.

Then, he throws

some stuff on me.

He rubs and

rubs and rubs...

and rubs and

scrubs and scrubs...

and scrubs and scrubs.

And that's how

I know he's in Kaigoon!

Ace, this is

for cigarettes.

Right?

No, Josh, no.

Do not nail them up.

Just put them over the pole.

That is what it is for.

You know that is

part of the stove too.

Ow!

That did it.

That's the last straw.

Me, too.

"This is for cigarettes, Ace. "

"Better wash the dishes, boys.

Fetch water, chop the wood. "

What are we? Robots? This

is worse than being married.

Only we're

not married.

If we had a wife,

we'd have a wife...

instead of

cauliflower thumb.

We'd probably wind up with

housemaid's knees. That'd be cute.

If you say anything to her,

she looks sad at you...

with those big eyes

and you're cooked.

She's got to go.

Yeah.

Well, I'll call her

in here and you tell her.

What's the matter with you?

You tell her.

I'll call her in and

we'll both tell her.

All right.

Mima.

Hey, Mima.

Yes, what is it?

Ace, please.

Oh, I'm sor...

Did you want me? Ace has

something to tell you.

We've been talking

it over here, and...

we're just a couple

of regular guys.

This

prettying up...

The place was good enough

for us the way it used to be.

Don't you think? If you do not like...

It's not

exactly that.

I don't know. It just

don't seem to work out.

It's just not working out,

this stuff.

A couple of fellows like us,

we like to come and go.

Having a girl around,

it's sort of off-the-elbow.

You mean,

you want me to leave?

Well, that's

the general idea.

I see.

Well...

I was cooking

these beans a new way.

You must keep adding water

or they will burn.

I think

she's leaving.

You wanted her to go,

didn't you?

You wanted her to go,

didn't you? She's going.

All right,

she's going.

Well...

There's nothing

else to say.

Good-bye.

It's not exactly good-bye.

We'll be seeing you

around. Yeah, we'll see you.

This is for cigarettes.

Yeah.

Let's spread out and

get back in the mood.

I thought I handled that

pretty well, didn't you?

You did what? I handled the

situation here pretty well.

This situation?

Who else? Yeah.

What was I doing in there? You were

weakening. I had to back you up.

Digging your toe like

both the rover boys.

I packed her bag and

put her on the bus.

But I was the heavy

in the whole piece.

I had my whip

right there.

I was the man that accomplished

the final brush-off.

You want the bow? Take

a bow. Take a light bow.

There's nobody there. Ta-da.

That's fine. You did it all? I think so.

I'm snookered again.

Partially.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Good night.

Let's get it.

Come on.

Come on!

Listen, I'm not

going to argue with you.

I told you you're coming

with me and that's...

Well, what are you

standing there for?

Go on, get in the house

and fix those beans.

Didn't you hear

what he said?

Hey, you better wipe off

your feet a little. Who?

Hey, where you going? I

got to see a man about a job.

What job?

Just a job.

What are you going to be doing

while I'm gone? I don't know.

You just stay

in the boat, huh?

What for?

Because I want to know

where you are.

Don't give me that baby stare.

I've been hearing things.

Hearing what? About what you've

been doing behind my back.

Like what? Like walking

in the woods with Mima.

What's wrong with walking? Nothing!

But how about those evenings you spent

on the beach holding her hand? What hand?

You've been holding it,

haven't you?

Supposing I have. Maybe

I got to. Oh, you got to?

You got no resistance. I

can love them and leave them.

But the minute they look dreamy

at you, you send for a preacher.

When they look dreamy at you,

their father sends for the preacher.

Why don't you lay off

protecting me?

That's our agreement. No women,

remember? Skip the agreement.

See if you can arrange

to stay in the boat.

What's the matter? Don't you trust me? No.

Look at these, monsieur.

These better than the

others? Oui, much, much.

For any young lady,

these would be very elegant.

15 paseks.

Okay, wrap them up.

Merci, monsieur. Wrap them

up nice with a lot of ribbon.

Very nice, monsieur,

very nice.

Put one of these flowers on

top. Let's go first class. Oui.

What are you doing in here?

Getting myself a few things.

Oh, yeah?

Mm-hmm.

How long you been

wearing these?

All right, so you caught me.

Take a walk, will you?

Where'd you

get the dough?

You hocked my ring. You never

looked good in it anyhow.

There you are, monsieur.

Thank you, I'll take those.

Wait a minute. Whose money paid for them?

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