Road to Utopia Page #7

Did you lose something?

Is that you, honey?

Don't say a word.

I'll do the talking.

You're puffing.

You didn't have to run here.

Things are gonna be different

after we're married.

I'm gonna do

big things for you.

I'm gonna buy you real furs.

You won't have to wear this

cheap imitation.

I'm gonna buy you a home.

No more sleeping on cold floors.

- Gesundheit, dear.

And the jewels I'm gonna buy!

Emerald bracelets down to there.

And diamond rings

for your fingers too.

They'll go so well with

those long nails of yours.

Honey, you've been

working too hard!

- Sperry, are you awake?

- Of course, I'm awake.

- Who's that with you?

- Who do you think? It's you.

Grr.

It's... a bear.

Keep calm,

just keep calm.

Help!

Who's your girlfriend,

Junior?

It's a bear.

Do something!

Who do you think I am,

Daniel Boone?

Looks like we've got

another mouth to feed.

Looks like I'm on the menu.

Get my arm

out of here.

She likes

affection maybe.

Keep it up or

we'll both be bear bait.

We'll be so happy together.

I can see us romping

around Yellowstone Park.

- We'll live with your folks.

- Grrr!

All right,

with my folks!

We'll raise a family,

a boy for you, a bear for me.

Help!

We're cooked.

Here's the house detective.

A fine thing!

A fish they let talk.

Me... they won't give

one stinking line!

Whoa! Whoa!

I hope

he'll understand.

Quit worrying.

Come on, Lebec.

Let's go.

Mush!

Come on! Cut it out.

Fix our breakfast, Dollface.

We'll see you later.

Ahh.

Come on, girls.

Hi, fellas.

Where's that map?

The map?

Oh-- Oh, the map!

Yeah, the map.

Don't worry.

We got it.

Yeah, we got it.

It's in his cap

and in my--

Let me see that cap.!

Okay, this is it.

Wait. We'll get

the map for you.

Sure.

Where is it?

Well, it's in--

It's in the

bear's mouth.

Get it

and be quick.

Smart guys, us.

We're a couple of pigeons.

A dame hits us twice

with those big moose eyes...

and we start

giving away gold mines.

If we get that map back,

I'm brushing dames off forever.

They're poison.

They run their fingers

through your hair, then

throw you in the gutter.

You know

what's worse?

What?

I love it.

Next time,

we shoot first.

And ask questions afterwards.

Those guys are green.

They won't get far.

They took our dogs!

Those ain't the only dogs

in Alaska!

We'll find some.

A couple of

prospectors.

Yeah.

Reach!

Mush!

They got a good start.

We'll catch 'em.

Did you ever think

of those dog teams?

The lead dog is the only dog

that gets a change of scenery.

Care for

another pillow?

No, I'm fairly

comfortable.

Yes.

Mind the bumps

like a good fella, eh?

Whoa!

There they are.

Who's that?

Moose hunting.

Mush, mush!

Mush. I'm dying

and you want to eat.

Go ahead.

Come on, boy!

Boy! Why didn't

I think of this before?

Exciting, isn't it?

If Hope and Crosby are caught,

they'll be killed.

They won't be able to tell

any more of those jokes.

Come on,

mush, mush!

Whoa! What is this?

Alcatraz?

Let's hit

for the rocks.

It's our

only chance.

Hey, they'll find us.

It's either us

or them.

My money's on them.

I'll take this rope.

We may need it.

Nice place to throw

the Grand Canyon.

All this ice

and no ginger ale.

Stay up.

You'll get a draw.

You all right?

We gotta get out somewhere,

either up or down.

It ain't down.

Let's go down the middle.

Okay.

Oh-oh, dead end.

A one-way mountain.

What'll we do now?

We'll use the rope.

There must be some

reason for it.

It might catch on a tree, huh?

They gotta be here

somewhere.

Here goes.

One in a million.

Throw a nail up too.

Oh, hey!

Help!

We made it!

Made it?

Boy, one in a million.

One in a million!

It's solid, let's go.

Woop!

Hold on!

Oh, boy.

Say, you got

a match?

Yeah. Ohhh!

What's the matter?

You crazy?

Match. Rub your head

against the rocks.

All out.

Top floor.

Going down.

I'm slipping.

Untie your boot.

You touch that boot and

I'll cut your hand off!

Boy, that'll hold 'em.

We could've been killed!

Hey, am I dead?

I can't tell.

You always look that way.

Come on!

Shh!

Shh.

Shh!

Shh! One little sound

starts a whole avalanche.

I should have

worn my derby.

You want them to hear us?

Hiccup the other way.

That's the only way

I know how.

Suppress it somehow.

Frighten me.

I can't.

I haven't got a mirror.

Sing something.

Huh?

It's cracking up.

One little sound

starts an avalanche.

Don't worry.

I'm okay now.

Concentrate. Count to 20.

I can't. I've

got my mittens on.

Count!

Five, ten, fifteen--

What now?

I think one more

will do it.

Let's see you come up

with something now.

Ready, aim, fire.

I can't.

I'm out of gas.

Think of something, somebody.

W.C. Fields.

Who?

Now for Dawson City

and those dames!

Dames! We'll be lucky

if we get to Dawson City.

Just a minute.

I'm the navigator.

What? Again?

They're not Sperry and McGurk.

It's all a mistake.

Mistakes happen,

but that can be remedied.

I'll send a couple boys

back to the cabin...

and they can explain things

to Sperry and McGurk.

They're not Sperry

and McGurk!

Well, whoever they are.

You wait here.

I don't want

any slipup.

How do we spot 'em?

Wherever they go,

they travel with

a big shaggy dog.

Drink up.

Keep your eyes open.

They may be on

their way here now.

Mush, mush!

Whoa, you dogs.

Okay, gas up, kids.

Very tiring trip.

I should've had you at

the other end of the sled.

Come on, Curly.

Where you going

with that fleabag?

We got trouble enough.

Stake her out there.

Don't want her?

Put her over here.

Wait for us, Fuzz.

If you see anything in slacks,

bark twice and I'll join you.

Don't forget,

be fair.

We act tough.

Mosey over to the bar

and ask a few questions.

Why, ''shore.''

Couple of strangers

in town.

Hello, boys.

You new in town?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Join me

in a drink?

Don't mind

if we do.

What'll you have?

Oh, a couple fingers

of rotgut.

What's yours?

I'll take a lemonade...

in a dirty glass!

What's all

the celebration?

A posse. There's going

to be a little hanging.

Little hanging, huh?

Well, what do you know.

Hanging, huh?

Well, that's

''noose'' to me.

That's noose--

I made a joke.

We're killing 'em here.

Or vice versa.

Hangin', huh?

Sounds gay.

Sure does.

Happy hunting, partner.

Who are you stringing up?

Couple of fellas who call

themselves Sperry and McGurk.

You don't happen

to know them, do you?

I know Sperry when I see McGurk.

I mean, I know McGurk when--

Never heard of'em.

Join us?

We'd love to,

but it's getting late.

Got a little ironing to do.

Hey, you!

It's going to be

a lovely hanging, boys.

I have an idea

you ought to be there.

Look, stranger, how you

gonna hang these fellows?

You don't know 'em.

How 'bout that?

We'll know 'em

when we see 'em.

They always travel

with a big shaggy dog.

Well, I--

I-yi-yi-yi.

I-yi-yi-yi.

A big shaggy dog,

huh?

Yeah!

The minute we see that dog,

we're gonna string them up.

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