Road to Zanzibar Page #8

What was that? I just sent it collect.

Do you hear that?

What is it?

I don't know.

We're not getting through.

We're on the wrong wavelength.

Here, you try it once. I'll try it.

Come and get us!

You take it. I'm beat. Who, me?

I'll try it on the little drum.

Yeah, get a different tone.

The boys are here.

They are?

You sent the wrong

message. It was intercepted.

Hi, fellas.

Who's got the dice?

What do you make of it? The way I figure,

they think we're big shots, maybe

gods or something. I wish I was sure.

What worries me is

all this trimming...

Don't mean a thing. It's

like parsley on fish. Yeah.

Looks like they're gonna

broil us like lamb chops.

Wait a minute! What do you want to

be? "The man who came to dinner"?

Moon-face is for us, but old

ratchet-head's putting in an awful knock.

Should we kiss the babies?

We're not running for anything.

We've already

been elected.

What's this?

That's gold.

Cut yourself in, Junior.

I'm in there. Yes, sir!

Old pawnbroker.

If this keeps up, we'll be

loaded. Try and act like a god.

A god?

I said a god,

not a cod.

This is okay. This is

probably the 40-cent tour.

These open-top cabs are the

thing, boy. Yeah, no meter.

We're off

to see the wizard.

I don't like the

looks of these.

Probably some of their

own boys killed in battle.

This one's got a removable

bridge! Well, remove it.

Yeah,

ghoul it.

Me? Probably wants me

to make a speech.

Say a few words.

I'll be right back.

This kid's a great

talker. Where's the stand?

This'll be all right.

I can speak here.

Wait a minute!

Am I exhibit "A"?

I guess they don't think you're a

god anymore. I'm big in Birch Falls.

Wait, wait! Don't move. What're you doing?

What're you talkin' about? Hinge!

Hiya.

Listen...

No! No!

Oh, no.!

Look out.!

Get me out of here!

He'll kill me!

He'll tear me up like an old

blotter! It's a test of strength.

They want you to wrestle him.! Wrestle?

Like Bonzo the bear.! Nothing but

hair and muscles! I can't wrestle that!

Pour it on him!

Pour what, my blood? He's down! Go get him!

Go ahead, go get him!

Climb on him, boy!

Think you're playing with kids?

That'll teach you!

You can't miss.

You're too scientific.

I got him!

I got him!

Oops!

Positions reversed.

No! Foul!

Chuck, do something!

Oh, my toes!

Come on,

you fearless boy!

Chuck,

tell him to stop.!

Oh, you don't

like it?

I'll dig my way

out of here!

Hey! Hey!

Now you're

working in there!

Come on, boy.!

Here you are.

Beat it, Fearless.

Fly, boy!

- Keep working in there.

- Oh, Chuck!

Keep working

in there, boy!

Go ahead,

Fearless.!

Monotonous,

isn't it?

Come on, boy.!

Now you're working in there.

- You're gonna outpoint him.

- Excuse me.

Now you got it.!

Was that me? Get back in there

and pitch. You're gonna win!

Come on, fearless boy!

Take him! Hit him, boy!

If I get this act to the States, it'll

kill them! What state will I be in?

Light a match! Do something!

I haven't got any more.

Let the blood go

back in my head.!

I don't want

any more food!

Hey, will you cut out

that chirping?

You're driving me crazy

in this chicken coop.

These guys dancin' and beatin'

those drums for days.

If they're gonna eat us,

why don't they do it?

Don't be in a hurry, boy. You'll

be brisket of beef soon enough.

Imagine me on the

65-cent blue plate.

I think you're slated for

the businessman's lunch.

Fearless Frazier,

the human meatball!

I gotta get out of here. There must

be some way. Look out, look out.

They'll grab an

hors d'oeuvre off you.

Well,

pardon yourself.

Must've been

somebody he ate.

That's life...

here today...

and just a

burp tomorrow.

I like it in here.

What about this? It's the last mile, boy.

I'm telling you,

I'll give you indigestion.

You won't like me!

Think of something.

You're the big idea man.

They're gonna make 4-minute eggs

out of us. He's had enough already.

Well, it's worth

a trial. Here.

Patty cake, patty cake

baker's man

Bake a cake

as fast as you...

Now, listen. Don't nix this

thing until you've heard it.

It might be the biggest idea I've ever had.

You come out beautifully gowned

with sequins and spangles.

You flex your muscles,

and there you are...

Mademoiselle Frazier, the

bearded lady. Are you kidding?

You think I want those

sailors chasing me? No, sir!

You seem to have lost

all confidence in me.

Get me out of this Emile Zola and

get me two tickets home. What with?

The minute

I get off that boat,

I'm gonna grab a handful

of that U.S.A. and eat it.

Birch Falls! What're we gonna

use for money, personality?

Money?

Come here.

What's this? You know

Fearless Frazier in a pinch.

Solid gold. What did you

do, roll a prospector?

When we were gods, the chief

put 'em around our neck.

Where've you had them? I hid them.

I got a secret panel in my

head. Room enough there for it.

Let's hock 'em, get

sharpened up and draped down!

And check

this beaver.

I'll have a shave if you can

find my face. Don't cut yourself.

How 'bout me getting the boat tickets

while you're losing that hedge?

What's the matter

with waitin' for me?

I waited for you. There might

be a boat sailin' any minute.

I don't know about you

goin' alone for the tickets.

I think I'm old enough

to get a couple of tickets.

See you in the hotel

in a half hour, huh?

He said half an hour.

It's six hours already.

He's got 'em.

He must have the tickets.

Please let him

have the tickets.

Maybe something happened to him. Nah.

Maybe he drowned.

If he did drown, let them find

the tickets on him. Fearless.!

Wait 'til I tell you

what happened.!

Just wave the tickets at me

while you're doing it.

There's no boat for a month. Tie

an outboard motor on me and aim me.

Wait 'til I tell you.

I didn't get the tickets.

You didn't get the tickets?

No, I ran into a fella...

I don't want to hear about a fella

unless he has an anchor and a poop deck.

You're always running into a

fella, and I want to go home!

What are you doing to me? What I

got is better than tickets home!

There's nothin' better. This is better.

Our dough's gone.

You bought something.

I'm going to take you in my

hands and walk all over you!

Chuck! Be a good boy. Just relax.

The tickets!

I wanna go home!

Wait just a minute.

Here's what we got and for

keeps too. Donna.! Julia.!

What is this? We wanted

to get money to get home.

They were workin' that slave

racket. What about Bradley?

Love upset that. I couldn't get

Donna near him with a mule team.

She tossed him over, huh?

Well, it's no surprise.

I figured sooner or later she'd

get moody about me again...

Wait, Livingstone.

Not you, him.

You know,

some fellas got it...

and some fellas

ain't got it.

So that's

the way it is?

I got it.

How are we all

gonna get home?

We've only got dough for

two tickets. I got an idea.

What an idea!

Money to get home?

We'll have enough for

a Mediterranean cruise!

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