![Find Road Trip on Amazon](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BODA4ZGRhZjgtMTYwMy00MDQzLTkxNTUtYTYwZjE5NDRiZTRjL2ltYWdlL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_SX300.jpg)
Road Trip
(Man) Welcome to the University
of Ithaca. This is it, right here.
I'm gonna give you a good tour today.
Show you as much as you need to know.
This is the main area
of the university.
You'll be getting used to this area.
This is sort of where you congregate.
Come in around me. Keep close.
I've had problems
with stragglers before, OK?
They get lost in the back
and hit by trucks, OK?
It's not pretty. This is the...
By the way, this is the Joseph
H Nelson Memorial Library here, OK?
It was built, uh...
It was built, uh, in the 1600s.
(Sniggering)
That's the address. OK? Wise-ass.
That's the psychology department.
You're expected to volunteer for
cutting-edge experimental testing.
Kind of cool.
When it's your turn, remember
to wear loose clothes, no metal,
and be prepared to receive several
heavy doses of electric current.
They're watching us right now.
Over there
is the department of English.
Most of you speak English already
so we can skip that.
- How long have you been here?
- Eight years.
(All laughing)
You don't seem to know anything.
This is the worst tour ever.
Doesn't anything cool happen?
Yeah, cool stuff happens.
This university
is the coolest place in the world.
That's because
he's never been anywhere else.
(All laughing)
Go ahead, laugh all you want.
But the fact is, this is the setting
for the greatest story ever told.
OK?
It's about this guy I knew,
Josh Parker,
and his girlfriend, Tiffany.
It's one of the most
fascinating journeys ever.
'Josh and Tiffany
were always together,
'starting from when they were little.
'They did everything as a team.
'When Tiffany was 10,
she had her tonsils taken out.
'Josh stayed in the hospital
for three days.
'They were best friends.
'What started out as friendship...
'blossomed into some serious French
kissing and lots of heavy petting.
'They spent so much time together
that even their dogs started dating.
'They seemed destined
to be together forever.
'But after high school, they faced
the most challenging challenge ever -
'a long-distance relationship.
'See, while Josh was enrolled here at
the wonderful University of Ithaca,
'Tiffany went off to
veterinary school in Austin, Texas.
'But they made a pact,
a promise to stay true to each other,
'to talk every day and maintain
an exclusive relationship.'
That turned out to be more difficult
than either of them ever imagined.
Tiffany! Hey, baby.
Oh, my God.
You were amazing last night.
- I never ever came like that before.
- Come on!
Seriously! I had to take
two birth control pills today.
You wanna help me study
again tonight??
Forget tonight. Come over now.
Let's blow this class off.
(Gasps)
(Ringing)
'Tiffany and Carla can't come to the
phone but please leave a message.'
- (Beep)
- Hey, Tif, it's me...again.
Just wonderin' where you are.
Still trying to get hold of you.
Everything's cool, though.
I'll catch you later.
Call me back, OK? OK. Bye.
I just wanted to add something
before I sent this video.
I haven't talked to you
in a few days and...
I'm thinking you don't like me...
I'm kidding.
Hey, guys.
But I am getting a little worried so
gimme a call when you get a chance.
Barry says hi.
So gimme a call
as soon as you can. I miss you.
- Call me, OK? Bye.
- (Laughing)
- What's up, guys?
- Not much. You?
I was just finishing my tape to Tif.
(Barry) Mitch, what are you doing?
Are you hungry? Huh?
- You gonna feed him?
- No, I'm checking the temperature.
Mitch needs an evenly distributed
Can I drop a mouse in?
Mitch only eats once a week,
on Saturdays.
Maybe we could cut a mouse in half,
and we could feed him half now
and the other half on Saturday.
I don't think so.
What time is it?? Oh, sh*t!
Do me a favour -
when this is rewound, mail it for me?
- No problem. Leave it there.
- Thanks, man.
- See you guys later.
- Bye.
Can we please feed him now?
No. If you overfeed him he could die.
So? It'll be worth it.
- Josh, hey.
- Beth, hey.
- What's goin' on?
- Not much.
- Where have you been?
- Nowhere.
Studying. I'm starting
to question this college thing.
There's so much reading.
- Right. (Chuckles)
- Yeah.
- You going to EL's tonight??
- Yeah.
(Josh) I gotta run,
class has started.
- I'll see you tonight.
- Yeah. Sorry.
So, you have a thing
for that guy now, is that it??
- It's not your business, Jacob.
- I can tell.
- I'm not having this conversation.
- What conversation?
You need to stop this.
We're not a couple.
We've never been a couple,
and never will.
(Professor) This week
I'd like you to think about
Plato's Dialogues
of the middle years.
"The Republic", "Phaedo",
"Symposium".
Now, this will all be
on next week's mid-term,
so I suggest you read up on it.
Ah, Jacob,
do you have anything to add?
Just a reminder.
The mid-term will cover
all of the in-class lectures
as well as
all of the assigned readings.
It will be entirely essay form,
I prefer yellow.
It's easier on the eyes.
OK. OK? Yeah. Thank you, Jacob.
And...see you all next week
for the mid-term.
- Josh.
- Yes?
I saw you hitting on Beth.
NOT a good idea.
- She's spoken for.
- What??
She'll come back to me.
They always do.
So... Mr Parker.
Do you intend
to be ready for this exam?
- Yes, sir.
- Well, you better be ready.
Because I was
looking over the books last night
and you need a B on this test
just to pass this class.
Actually,
I double-checked that, Professor.
He needs a B+.
We can't bend on this.
I got it.
- Just copy off someone.
- I can't. It's all essays.
If I fail this class,
my average is shot.
or not be allowed back.
Well, you're f***ed, then.
So come to my party, hook up
with Beth, and enjoy your last week.
I'm not hooking up with anyone.
I'm invested in this relationship.
Invested? Who are you, Charles
Schwab? Listen to yourself!
I would give my life...
for one evening
of consensual sex with that girl.
I've gone this long without cheating.
You're already cheating!
Any time you pass up sex
you cheat yourself.
The window of opportunity
to drink and do drugs
and take advantage
of young girls is shrinking daily.
I gotta make a call.
I'm telling you, you pass this up,
it'll haunt you forever.
Your dick will never forgive you.
What do you think, man? Don't you
want to experience something new?
(Squeaky voice)
It ain't easy being Josh's penis.
We've been here two months,
and I feel like I'm in a coma.
- Stop it.
- I wish I was your dick, EL.
If something doesn't happen soon,
I'm gonna leave.
- Enough.
- (Girl) 'Hello? '
Carla, it's Josh. Sorry to bother
you, is Tiffany around?
Tiffany is not here.
She didn't sleep here
last night...again.
And it would be great
if for one hour you didn't call.
- Right.
- If she wanted to talk to you
she'd call you.
Deal with it.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Road Trip" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/road_trip_17028>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In