Roadgames

---

1

(brakes squeaking)

- Ah, last motel in

town again, hey Boswell?

Well it's not

exactly the Ritz, but

it sure beats spending

another night in the truck,

right mate?

Hey listen, get some

nice clean sheets

and a hot shower, and

after that we'll hop

into a restaurant, and

get some nice chow.

A little pate foie

gras, veal scallopini,

dry marsala, and if we're lucky

we might even get a Disco

Dolly for dessert, right mate?

Oh and I won't

forget the doggy bag.

Salacious vermin.

- [Radio] Base four to

gypsy three niner seven.

Base four to gypsy three

niner seven, do you copy?

- Oh God, shall we?

- [Radio] Base four to

gypsy three niner seven.

Do you COPY?

- Mayday, mayday,

this is flight 77,

I seem to be in a

great deal of trouble.

I'm going down, I

need help, over.

- [Radio] Is that you,

gypsy three niner seven?

- Negative, darling,

this is Quid.

Patrick Anthony Quid, as

in British Sterling, over.

- [Radio] Three niner

seven, we have a priority

urgent from Perth.

Melbourne Meatworks, 5AM, over.

- Negative, base four, I

haven't slept since Wednesday.

I'm hallucinating, over.

- [Radio] I thought you

truck drivers took pills

for that sort of thing.

- Darling, just

because I drive a truck

does not make me a

truck driver, over.

- [Radio] Come on three nine

seven, is that affirmative?

There's a strike in the

west, they need meat.

- Sweetheart, there seems to be

a great deal of

interference here,

but I love you, I've

always loved you, over.

- [Radio] Why do we always

have trouble with you,

three nine seven?

All right, we'll go double

time just this once.

- Affirmative, base four.

5AM meat works, double time.

Over and out.

Hey Boswell, isn't

that that young fox

we saw hitchhiking on the

other side of the weighbridge?

I told you we should

have picked her up.

Now that clown's gonna get her.

(sirens wailing)

Hey, don't look at me, pal.

Use Smith or Jones,

what's the difference?

I mean, who cares nowadays?

Let's go.

Come on.

Oh God.

First he steals my girl,

then he takes my bed.

Okay, Bozzy.

It's you and me, pal.

Now listen.

No snoring and no evil smells.

I hope she steals his wallet.

I'll bet she doesn't even

wait to take her socks off.

(gentle acoustic guitar)

(clock ticking)

(guitar strings creaking)

(whining guitar music)

(clock ticking)

(soft guitar music)

(garbage cans crashing)

(man shouting)

(dog whining)

(razor buzzing)

(man shouting)

(sirens wailing)

(dog barking)

Boz!

(man shouting)

Hey boys-

I haul it in, you

haul it out, right?

(Western music)

With full devote courage of

sundry folk by adventure fall

in fellowship and

pilgrims were they all.

Good morning, pilgrims!

Morning!

Me thinketh it according to

resound to tell you all...

Hello, been away

on holiday, aye?

Lovely.

(child laughing)

To Warrnambool.

Fred Frugal and

his wife, Frita.

Frita Frugal.

(woman talking)

Bet she's a real dragon.

You should have turned

right at the last left,

and I told you, but

you never listen.

Poor guy-

I bet he's an accountant.

Maybe a school teacher.

Nah, an accountant.

You better watch it kids,

not careful, you'll stay in

that position for life.

Now there's a man with balls.

(dog whimpers)

Benny balls.

(slow Western music)

(whistling)

Ha, Bozzy, there's something

in the autumn air that

sets the gypsy blood a stir.

(sneezing)

Sneezy rider.

Hors d'oeuvre?

(whistling)

Hey, Bozzy, there's another one.

Maybe oughta pick this one up

and take her to Perth with me.

Dazzling her with my stylish

rhetoric and witty innuendo.

Aye, what do you think?

No?

Maybe you're right, it's

against regulations.

(soft music)

Alright, mate, that's nine

Jap traps, six Yank tanks,

and three VWs, which beats

your Rolls Royce by ten points.

You wanna keep playin'?

Alright, I'll tell ya what,

I'll give you an extra

two points for

the trailer, okay?

Alright, alright, make it three.

I don't wanna argue with ya.

You know, that's the trouble

with you Australians.

You take your games

too seriously.

Ahoy, Captain Careful.

Bound to the sea in a ship

born of your own patient hands.

Aye, matey?

(horn honking)

What's the matter, Boswell?

Something wrong?

(foreboding music)

Well, well, if it isn't

our friend from the motel.

Hey, heave to, friend,

pull over your port side.

(engine rumbling)

(glass shattering)

(horn honking)

(dog moaning)

What's the matter, buddy?

Something about that van

you're not telling me?

(foreboding music)

Wonder why he doesn't pass?

Maybe he's after our meat, huh?

I wonder if he's still got

that young fox with him.

Let's see if we can

get a better look.

(engine rumbling)

Why does anybody get up at

5 o'clock in the morning

to watch the garbage collectors?

(radio crackling)

- [Radio] Occasion,

really, but my apologies to

listeners.

(radio mumbling)

(harmonica hums)

(classical music)

- [Radio] The time is 1

o'clock, the weather is

clear and stable, my name is

Warwick Boss...

(harmonic humming) ...this is the news- A council

worker in the Brisbane suburb of Eagle Farm

- [Radio] Was shocked

today when he discovered

a human hand amongst debris

in a storm water drain.

The identity of its

owner is unknown,

but the hand will be packed

in ice and sent to Sydney

for comparison with a

human leg discovered

in a Townsville

tannery last week.

Police are denying speculation

of a Jack the Ripper type

murder at large, and

claim the two grisly items

are probably unconnected

and isolated.

The United Beef Workers

Federation has blamed the

critical shortages

of meat in retail outlets..

- Well, well.

(radio murmuring)

(harmonica humming)

- [Radio] ..who is the principle

antagonist in the strike,

which has left

Perth without meat.

The spokesman for the

federation has asked that anyone

knowing the whereabouts

of Mr. Day who is believed

to be returning with his

family from the Nirvana Caravan

Park, Warrnambool...

- Sucker.

(harmonica humming)

(tires screeching)

(heavy tumbling)

- Hello there!

- Wait, miss, I'm sorry,

I'm not allowed to pick up

hitchhikers.

- Oh, I'm not a hitchhiker,

I'm not hitchhiking.

My idiot husband drove

off and left me here.

We can catch 'em if ya hurry.

Why, isn't this cozy.

So high UP-

Hope I don't get truck sick.

Oh, my name's Madeline Day.

- Pleased to meet you.

- But Floyd, that's my husband,

the idiot, he calls me Sunny

as in Sunny Day.

- Sounds like a wild and

crazy guy, your husband.

- Oh, that's nothing, we've

got a daughter, Doris Day.

Like the movie star.

We can go now if you don't mind.

- Well, I can take ya

as far as Yellowdine.

There's a roadhouse there,

and you can phone the police.

(coughing)

- Your dog doesn't

bite, does it?

- Oh, he's not a dog.

- It looks like a dog.

- He's a dingo.

- Dingo?

- Yeah.

Well, why would anybody wanna

keep a dingo for?

- Well, I like him.

He doesn't eat too

much, he's quiet.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes