Roberta Page #2

She has her points.

I take it you're smarting

over this air she has given you.

Well, I'm still in love with her.

But she says I'm just a hick.

- A what?

- A farmer.

I've got hay in my hair.

I can't talk on any subject,

- I can't dance, I can't even dress myself.

- Ridiculous.

And I don't know anything

about women's clothes,

and when I have to order dinner

it's always meat, potatoes and pie.

Oh, she says that, does she?

Well, we'll show her she's wrong.

Gosh, John's been in there a long while.

Oh, why didn't we go to a hotel first?

Man, I'm hungry.

Come on, Mac, give him the call.

That's my gang.

- I came over with a band.

- A band of what?

An orchestra.

They're the Wabash Indianians,

hired for a job in Paris

and fired through a misunderstanding.

Now they're looking for an engagement.

They're a swell bunch.

They do that rather prettily.

Madame, Scharwenka wants to see you.

She doesn't like her tissue.

She doesn't like the model,

she doesn't like the fit,

and she doesn't like the price.

Oh, you mean she doesn't like it.

Yes, madame, what will you do about it?

Do about it? Let her go.

She'll come back.

She's the rage here right now,

and she's got the best figure in Europe,

but she has to have it dressed,

at least partly.

I'm afraid

she intends to start her screaming.

If she does, stick a pin in her.

Oh, I'd rather use an ice-pick.

This time I left the door open.

Who is she going to stick a pin into?

Scharwenka, a Polish countess who has

spurned the hollow mockeries of society

and gone in for nightclub entertaining.

You can see she's talented.

Do you allow her to make such a noise?

- lf she enjoys it, why not?

- Well, suppose the police come in?

Good, they can take her away.

But she must be insane

to make such a row.

Stephanie may not be safe with her.

- You feel inclined to stop her?

- Yes, I do.

No, no, no, no, no!

You are not the only couturier in Paris!

I am a good advertising

for the house that dresses me!

I do not know why

I come to Roberta anyway!

You... Will you quit pushing me?

I... I beg your pardon.

You can't behave like that, you know.

You big beautiful American!

You are very strong.

You do not understand.

These Latin races must be shouted at.

I'm not a Latin

and shouting doesn't impress me.

Hey.

I shall never set foot in this place again.

You do not know

how they have treated me.

This horrible old woman here.

The greedy old diable.

Easy, she's my aunt.

Oh, well, I was not blaming it on her.

She is really a genius,

but that little shrew who

runs the business. That Stephanie...

But Stephanie is swell.

What, you are her lover?

I've never seen such a place.

No one thinks of anything

but being somebody's lover.

Well, have you never thought of it?

What happened?

Your nephew has done

most admirably, madame.

What did he do? Where is Scharwenka?

On his neck.

Oh, I see.

Does he like it?

Not particularly.

But I don't hear him shouting for help.

There's that cuckoo band again.

Scharwenka!

Do you think she'd do something

for my nephew if he asked her?

I don't think he'll even have to ask her.

No, no, no.

I mean something for this band of his.

She could get them an engagement

and if they're John's friends,

they're a swell band.

I must show you Paris,

and I want you to love it.

- I've seen the Eiffel Tower.

- Oh, no.

My dear Countess. I understand there are

a few things wrong with the gown.

You shall have a new model,

at a new price.

Oh, there's nothing wrong with the gown.

I'll be back tomorrow for another fit.

May I present my nephew, John?

Oh, he presented himself

most charmingly.

My nephew is paying me a visit

en route to London,

he has a band which is playing at a private

party for the Duke of Wattingham.

I should like to hear

your orchestra sometime.

Now. There's no time like now.

Now, hang on to your hat.

Hey, fellows!

Strike it up. It's a job.

Come on, boys, let's give them

the Let's Begin number.

- Come on, get over here.

- Come on, man, get over there.

All right, boys, let's swing it.

Now that you've got me going

what you gonna do?

Is it up to me or is it up to you?

What kind a game is this we've begun?

Was it done just for fun?

Don't forget since we've met

There's no reason for vain regret. Oh

Is this to be a case of "fall

and glad I fell, kiss and never tell

"Folly and farewell?"

Which is going to be "might have been

"Lose or win? Let's begin"

I'm here to tell you, let's begin

Now that you've got me going

what you gonna do?

Is it up to me, or is it up to you?

What kind of game is this we've begun

Was it done just for fun?

- No

- Realize that I'm wise

And please stop rolling

those big blue eyes

Is this to be a case of "Fall and glad I fell

"Kiss and never tell, folly and farewell?"

Which is going to be

"might have been"let's begin

Let's begin

- I think I saw...

- Huck, it looks like you're all set.

- You remember the girl I told you about?

- She likes the band.

Well, I was out there dancing.

I looked up and I saw...

Quiet, quiet, quiet!

- You're going in to meet a Polish countess.

- I don't want to meet any countess.

- But she can give the band a job.

- I don't care what she can...

- Who, who can? She can?

- Yeah!

- Well, that's different.

- No cracks, now.

I think they're very good.

Aunt Minnie,

this is my friend Huck Haines.

My nephew has told me about you.

Countess, may I present

Monsieur Huck Haines?

Countess?

- Well, if it isn't...

- Huck is for Huckleberry, n'est-ce pas?

Yes,

and a couple of n'est-ce pas.

Mr. Haines is the piccolo player

I was telling you about.

Ah! Piccolo player. How charmant.

No, no, no, madame. Pas de piccolo.

I play what you call a filthy piano.

May I present myself,

Le Marquis de Indiana.

Ah, Indiana,

a province in the south of Greece, eh?

No, no, no, Madame la Comtesse.

Just west of Pittsburgh, babe.

Hey, ix-nay acking-cray.

These Americans are

what you call fresh guys.

No, no, no. Refreshing.

Oh, mais oui. Refreshing.

Pardon, monsieur.

It is nothing, toots.

I should like to talk to this refreshing,

filthy piano, alone.

Oh, certainly, certainly.

Is he a lunatic?

Oh, no, that's merely his way

of making her feel at home.

Oh!

Now, listen here, Huck Haines...

No, no, no, no. What a charming surprise.

This little tete-a-tete with you, alone.

Huck, please.

What's the racket, Liz?

Did you marry the title or just lift it?

Be a pal, will you, Huck?

It's just a stage name.

You've got to have a title

to croon over here.

I know. Gee, Lizzie, you look grand.

Look, I promise to get you a job

if you won't tell on me.

- Okay, Liz.

- And it's not Liz.

I'm sorry, Princess? Baroness?

Oh, what is it?

You may call me Tanka.

- Tanka.

- You're welcome.

It's swell seeing you again, Tanka.

But what about that job for the boys?

Madame Roberta is having tea

in her sitting room,

and she would like you to join her,

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