Robot Chicken: Star Wars

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What in the is --

So I threw the senate at him.

The whole senate!

True story!

My God, that is so funny.

You made it come

out of my nose.

Go for papa palpatine.

You have a collect call from...

Darth vader.

I got to take this.

Hold on.

Vader, how's my favorite sith?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa. Whoa.

Just slow down.

What do you mean,

they blew up the death star?

Who's "they"?

What the hell

is an aluminum falcon?

Okay, okay, so who's left?

Are you me?

Well, where are you?

Wait a sec,

you been flying around

for two weeks trying

to get a signal?

You must smell like feet wrapped

in leathery, burnt bacon.

I-I'm sorry.

I thought my dark lord of the

sith could protect

a small thermal-exhaust port

that's only two meters wide.

That thing wasn't even fully

paid off yet.

Do you have any idea what this

is gonna do to my credit?

Hang on, I got another call.

What?!

I'm very busy right now!

Well, where are they going?

All right.

Um, just get me a Turkey club.

Cole slaw, I guess.

I'm not even gonna eat it.

What are you getting?

No, see, I always order

the wrong thing.

No, no, no,

I'll just stick with that.

Okay, bye.

W-what?

Cherry coke.

Thanks.

Sorry about that.

What?

"just rebuild it"?

Real original.

And who's gonna give me a loan,

jackhole?

You?

You got an atm on that torso

lite-brite?

"Now get your 7'2" asthmatic

ass back here,

or I'm gonna tell everyone what

a whiny b*tch

you were about padamami or

panda bear

or whatever the hell

her name is.

Jeez, he's crying.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on, come on, don't do that.

Just -- just -- look,

I'm just dealing with a lot of

crap right now.

Death star blown up by a bunch

of teenagers, you know?

I didn't mean to snap.

O-okay, just get back here.

Okay.

Okay, bye.

Y-- I --

I love you, too.

What'll it be, pal?

Martini!

Jee-- my God.

I got to get that

transfer to coruscant.

I guess we'll have to eat

this boring oatmeal.

It's a trap!

Wow! Admiral ackbar!

Wow! Admiral ackbar cereal!

Colorful marshmallows!

Imitation crab meat!

Your tongues can't repel flavor

of that magnitude.

There's a prize in every box.

Admiral ackbar cereal,

now with brine shrimp.

Whazuuuuup, ponda!

Let's bust out early

and hit that new cantina

across the street.

Come on!

One drink ain't gonna kill you.

Like I'm really gonna eat a

bunch of bananas after that?!

He doesn't like you.

I'm sorry.

I don't like you, either.

You better watch yourself.

We're wanted men.

I have the death sentence on

12 systems.

I'll be careful.

You'll be dead!

Gee, ponda,

I just don't see how

you can keep designing with

no drawing arm.

I'm sorry,

but we have to let you go.

-- dear.

My keys.

It's almost open.

Hold on to this.

Whoa, coming through!

The wall's on fire!

What was that?

It was a lightsaber!

This is my first day!

What the --

Little help?

Welcome to orientation day

here on the jolly,

old death star.

There are a few things

we want to go over

with you concerning

lord vader.

First and foremost, he thinks he

has the power to strangle us.

Truth is, he doesn't.

If he ever realized this,

he would kill us

with his lightsaber.

Thus, to keep us safe, we'll all

pretend to get strangled.

Okay, let's try a practice.

Commander Winston here will

assist me.

I'm going to hold out my hand

like lord vader,

and he will pretend to be

strangled.

Gasping for air.

Grabs throat, yes.

Eyes back, and he's down.

Good show, commander.

Now two of the floor chiefs will

retrieve the corpse,

redress him, add a mustache,

and he's back to work

as lieutenant Leopold.

Vader has the satisfaction of

killing someone,

and we stay amongst the living.

Why, private Perkins over there

has been strangled over 30

times,

haven't you, Perkins?

Good man.

This is awesome!

R2, patch me through.

I want to call

Uncle Owen and aunt --

You're George Lucas!

I take it you're here for

the "star wars" convention?

I sure am.

Want to see my costume?

Um...

See?

I'm a tauntaun.

But I don't have to tell you.

You invented tauntauns.

Well, that's very

interesting.

Listen to my tauntaun call!

Nicely done.

Dear God.

My God!

George Lucas!

I love you!

Give me a baby!

Quickly, sir!

Onto my back!

I am your steed.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Dear God.

Well, um...

And I thought they smelled bad

on the outside.

Just like in the movie!

Me?

Thank you!

Thank you!

And that was the greatest day

of my whole life.

What about when I was born?

Not even close.

But with the blast shield down,

I can't even see.

How am I supposed to fight?

Ooh!

Ooh!

Damn it!

What is it?

I never get a spaceship.

I never get anything.

Should we order

some Chinese food?

I don't know, I guess.

We'll get some Chinese.

Hello, could we get, um...

What do you think, 5 million

tons of kung pao chicken?

That's good.

Yeah, 3 million pot stickers

and one order of

scallion pancakes.

Get some fried rice.

5 million tons of fried rice.

Cash or charge?

It's -- hold on.

We're just gonna gobble him up

when he gets here, right?

Yeah, of course.

Cash, then.

That mother--

I got to get that transfer to

the death star.

Mr. president, your vitals

all check out fine.

There is just one thing.

Your midi-chlorian count is

extraordinarily high.

Does that mean

that I'm one of them,

whatcha call 'em, jedis?

Not tonight.

I'm tired, honey.

You're not tired.

You want to have a threesome.

I'm not tired.

I want to have a threesome.

Get me condi.

Sorry, "w."

Big Mac attack.

Yee-hoo!

Hey, hey, whoa!

What the dilly?

Saber beats rock.

What in the hell?

Who dares

disturb my slumber?

Who dares

question my... Daring

of his dare?

Jerk!

It is I, I who

freed the slaves,

I who united --

Boring.

Let's fight!

If you

strike me down,

I shall become -- wait,

let me finish!

Aah!

That'll teach you,

George Washington!

Jenna, get over here right now!

I am your father!

That's not true.

That's impossible.

My real father would let me go

clubbing as late as I want!

You little --

No, baby, I'm sorry.

Aah!

You suck!

Nooooo!

What --

Was it just a dream?

Mr, president, we still

haven't found any weapons

of mass destruction.

You have found

weapons of mass destruction.

...Hi.

We haven't.

You have.

I don't know what

you're doing.

Bring me a taco.

Yes, sir.

Tacos rule.

Cloud city will be cloudy

this evening,

followed by clouds.

Get your own tauntaun!

Your overconfidence

is your weakness.

Your faith in your

friends is yours.

Faith in yo mama.

What was that?

I said, yo mama's so

fat, jabba the hutt said,

"da-a-a-mn!"

Well, your

mother's so ugly,

she put the "ug" in ugnaught.

Yo mama fight!

Yo mama's so stupid,

she spent all day saying,

"am not," to r2.

Your mother is so

fat that Ben Kenobi said,

"that's no moon."

"That's your mama!"

Yo mama's so dumb,

she thought jar jar comes

with pickles pickles!

Your mother is so stupid,

she -- she thinks a

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