Robots Page #2

Just put your head between your legs.

Yeah!

There goes my stop.

I tell you, the things that fall off me...

It's embarrassing.

Sorry.

You know, it used to be a lot worse.

They had this giant hammer...

Oh, they brought it back.

Stick with me. I know this town

like the back of my hand.

Hey, that's new.

Excuse me. Can I help you?

Sorry, I...

- Hey, you're Tim from the TV show.

- That's me.

Well, hey, Tim.

Who closed the gate?

It's never supposed to be...

Yeah, okay, what do you want?

I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld.

I'm an inventor.

Oh, why didn't you say so?

Stand back.

Thanks.

What?

I got you. You see, because you were

all excited and then, boom!

All right, I had my laugh. Go on in.

Now, that's funny.

The second time.

You really think I'm gonna let you in.

But I'm not.

Sorry, kid, nobody gets in.

Company rules.

Company ru...? Well, then

how do they hire new inventors?

They don't. Those days are over.

My advice:
Come back two years ago.

Then the job is yours.

So remember, whether a bot is made

of new parts, old parts or spare parts...

...you can shine

no matter what you're made of.

My goodness,

what a remarkable legacy.

Concern for the common robot.

You don't come across old-fashioned

values like that anymore, friends.

And for good reason.

There's no money in it!

Hello? Memo to Bigweld:

We're not a charity.

That's why old fat face

no longer sits in the big chair.

He's a relic.

So I don't wanna hear another,

"Where's Bigweld?"

We'll see him next month at the

Bigweld Ball. He always goes to that.

Now, let's get down to the business

of sucking every loose penny...

...out of

Mr. and Mrs. Average-Knucklehead.

What's our big-ticket item?

Upgrades, people. Upgrades.

That's how we make the dough.

Now, if we're telling robots that no matter

what they're made of, they're "fine"...

...how can we expect them to feel

crummy enough about themselves...

...to buy our upgrades

and make themselves look better?

Therefore, I've come up

with a new slogan.

"Why be you when you can be new?"

I gotta tell you, I think it's brilliant...

...but, honestly, I'd like to hear

what you employees think about this.

- Hear, hear.

- Out of the ballpark, Ratchet.

Just don't look down.

Hey.

Get off.

Go on, get off.

Get off of...

Cappy, you haven't said a word.

- It gave me chills.

- Thank you, thank you.

- But...

- But?

I'm just wondering,

why would robots buy new upgrades...

...if parts are so much cheaper?

Oh, right. Well, that's easy.

Because as of today,

we are no longer making spare parts.

Do you know what I call robots

who can't afford upgrades? Scrap metal.

You see them on the streets,

misshapen and rust-covered.

They turn your insides out.

You wanna run home and scrub yourself.

Now, Cappy, I want your department

to push our new slogan.

In fact, I'm moving you

into the office right next to mine.

We'll be working very,

very closely together on this one.

- Won't that be fun?

- Oodles.

- Oh, so sorry, I...

- What the...?

Sir, I am a young inventor, and it has

been my dream to come to Robot City...

...and to present my ideas

to Mr. Bigweld.

Who doesn't seem to be here.

Gee, no, no. But while he's away,

he left me in charge.

Oh, well, then let me show you

what this can do.

I have a better idea. Why don't you

let me show you what it can do.

It can do this!

So how did it go?

What the heck

is going on around here?

Some highly polished jerk

is sitting in Bigweld's chair.

And you're sitting

on the sidewalk, magnetized.

Listen, I'll be back,

and I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

When you pick a lost cause,

you really commit.

Where do they make dreamers like you?

Get lost, freak!

All right, break time.

All right, break time's over.

Chop-chop.

Look who's here.

- Hi, Mom.

- Hi, sweetie. How's my boy?

Great. I did just what you told me.

No more spare parts.

In a couple of weeks, those broken-down

losers out there will be scrap metal.

You will be up to your bloomers

in broken-elbow junk.

Such a good boy.

And after you finish off Bigweld...

...there will be nobody

out there to fix them.

Exactly!

You wanna swing that one

by me again?

Idiot! Those outmodes look up to him.

- Suppose he decides to come back?

- Oh, come on, Mom.

- He's not gonna be trouble where he is.

- What are you afraid of?

Grow some bolts.

Or do you want to end up

like your father?

Hey, son. Good to see you.

Think what it would mean.

Not Bigweld Industries,

Ratchet Industries.

Keep talking.

Ratchet City!

Yes, everything shiny.

No more Bigweld, no more outmode.

Let's do it!

That's my boy!

Are you hungry?

Can I get you something?

- You look thin.

- No, no, no, Mom. I gotta go. Bye.

Bye, Pop.

So long, son.

Good luck with your dastardly plans.

Hey.

Hi there.

Listen, if I seem to be getting smaller,

it's because I'm leaving.

Foot, don't fail me now.

Stop! Hey, you got my foot!

Oh, great. Happy now?

Not until you give me back

my foot, you mugger.

I am not a mugger. I happen to be...

...a scrounger.

I didn't know you were

at the end of that foot.

Here, let me help you with that.

No, no, no, I'll do it myself.

I have my pride, you know. Over here.

Oh, no. No, not that close.

Hold on, hold on.

No. No, no.

What's the use? There's nothing left.

Hey, Diesel, I found you a voice box.

Here's another one.

That's no good. Give me that.

I can never find parts in my size.

What is it, boy?

Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?

Lost weight?

Look at where you're looking.

He's a head in a basket.

We're doomed, I knew it.

We're doomed.

Yeah, will you shut up, you neurotic nut?

Why, I'd smack you if I had a hand.

Wow, speak of the devil, here I come.

Dang!

Check this out.

Who would throw away

such a cute little doodad?

- Don't be scared.

- Hey, that's mine.

That's him. That's the guy.

I would know that face.

I know that face,

and I know that foot.

He's over there, moron.

That's the perpetrator.

He knocked my head off.

- You want another piece of me?

- All right, buster.

If you think you can mess with my

big brother, you're... You're kind of cute.

Piper, would you behave yourself.

Now, come on,

let's get Fender fixed. Again.

Here's your thingamabob.

By the way, the name's Piper.

Rhymes with "viper. "

See you around.

We've told you a hundred times:

"Don't talk to strange men. "

Thank you, Manuel.

I talk to you.

Who's stranger than that?

I got good news, and I got bad news.

- What's the bad news?

- I checked the stock book.

And as of today, they are no longer

making parts for your model.

You have been officially outmoded.

Outmoded? Well, that's fine.

What's the good news?!

Well, when we had your parts,

they were on sale.

How could this happen to me?

I'm practically a kid.

Look, pull yourself together.

All you need is an upgrade.

That new-upgrade smell.

Just came in, fully loaded. Look.

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