Rounders Page #2

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do something useful.

- [Group Laughs]

- Kid's a little tall, isn't he, Gene?

Enough with the Belmont

recruiting spiel. Your bet.

- All right. I call.

- Michael is lead counsel...

in the Moot Court

you're presiding over next week, Gene.

Besides, he could use

the background if he's gonna...

clerk for one of you fellas

this summer, right?

Abe, I thought you liked the kid. Why do

you want to make him a civil servant?

Yeah, look... a word to the wise.

Stay in the private sector.

That Nassau defense attorney's game?

They use our chips for coasters.

[Mike Narrating]

The amazing thing is, in this

collection of great legal minds,

there isn't a single

real card player.

- I call.

- Raise.

Um, the professor raises.

Mike? [Whispers]

Michael, I would have just called.

No, you're good.

All right, I call.

[Mike Narrating]

I don't know if I'm going to bring

my legal career to a crashing halt...

before it even starts,

but I just can't help myself.

- Good.

- I'm in.

- [Clears Throat]

- Read 'em and weep.

Threes check.

Check to Martin and Lewis

over there.

- Check to the raiser.

- Czechoslovakia.

- What's the limit?

- $20. Big bet's $20.

Okay. Good.

There's $20.

You've seen half a hand. How the

f*** are you betting into us?

You sure this is wise, Abe?

It's your money the kid's bettin' with.

It's plenty wise.

We know what we're holding,

and we know what you're holding.

[Chuckles]

The f*** you know what we all got.

Summer clerkship in your office says

I know what you're holding.

I don't bet

with jobs like that.

Let's just say I'll put you at the top

of the list if you're right.

Okay. [Clears Throat] Well, you

were looking for that third three,

but you forgot that Professor Green

folded it on Fourth Street,

and now you're representing

that you have it.

The D.A. made his two pair,

but he knows they're no good.

Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze out

a diamond flush, but he came up short,

and Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping

that his queens are gonna stand up.

So, like I said,

the Dean's bet is $20.

- Well, kiss my ass.

- Kiss my ass.

[Group Laughs]

- What'd you have, Abe?

- Nothin' but a busted straight.

- Oh, come on.

- It's good enough to win. Take it down.

All right, kid, your first assignment.

Pull up a seat next to me.

Oh, I'd like to. I can't, I can't.

I don't play cards.

- Get outta here!

- See you tomorrow.

- Whose deal?

- My deal.

- I like the kid, Abe.

- Good kid.

Smart kid.

[Mike Narrating]

I tell ya, it's hard leaving that game.

An open invitation

to lay with those lambs.

But I'm retired.

The truth is, I can always

find games, though.

Easy games, tough games, straight games,

crooked games, home games.

I can turn this truck onto the Jersey

Turnpike and be at the Taj in two hours.

But I've made promises.

I'm just a law student now.

Hello?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- How'd it go?

- Oh, great.

[Sighs]

I am sick of that f***ing route.

Don't worry.

A few more semesters...

Mmm.

Oh, I gotta go.

- I'm really late.

- Oh, just stay here.

I'll be really quick.

- You won't feel a thing. [Chuckles]

- [Chuckles]

We both know

that's not true.

Besides, you should

get some sleep.

These f***in' long nights

are killing me.

They never used to.

Yeah, well, that's different.

I mean, that was like...

buy in at 8:
00, next thing

you know it's morning.

But hey, you know, I think

I'm hooked up for this summer.

Hooked up how?

Well, after I left you last night at the

library, I impressed Judge Marinacci.

I think I might be in line

for a clerkship.

Tell me more.

Well, those guys were

all playing cards, and...

Just hear me out now,

hear me out.

They were playing cards

and I read his hand blind.

So, instead of coming home, you went

and played cards with some judge?

No, I wasn't even playing.

They were playing.

I just caught his eye

by reading his hand, that's all.

I mean, as long as I don't f***

up Moot Court, I think the job's mine.

What kind of job

is that gonna be, Mike?

Writing an opinion

on high-stakes poker?

Honey, you're the one

who told me...

that I should use my poker skills

in the courtroom.

Yeah, I know

I said that, but...

You know what I meant.

I meant that you should use your head.

You know, the way you calculate odds

on the spot, the way you read people.

That's what I meant.

I didn't mean that you should try to

con your way into a summer job.

- Honey, con? I was networking.

- [Laughs] Oh, God.

Networking. Are you trying

to con me now?

No.

I just...

I don't think you get it.

You'll be just like one

of those ex-college athletes.

You know, great job at the

D.A. 's office as long as...

they never miss

a lawyer's league game.

It's true. I just think if you

get in this way,

you'll always be

a hustler to them.

Baby, I didn't even play.

Okay.

I'll see you later.

Oh.

- Hey, hon, can I take

the Jeep tomorrow?

- Yeah, where?

Uh, Worm's gettin' out.

I was gonna pick him up.

Tomorrow.

Beautiful.

I promised

I'd be there, hon.

Worm. I just can't believe you

still know someone called "Worm."

He's like my brother.

Sh*t.

I didn't even play.

[Mike Narrating] I met Worm

at Dwight Inglewood Preparatory

Academy over in Jersey.

We were the only two kids attending

who didn't have a trust fund.

My father's office was there.

It said "Custodian" on the door.

That's why

they took me.

- [Makes Buzzer Sound]

- Pow!

W-Was that, like,

your strong finish or something?

- Motherf***er!

- You leave me no choice,

the way you play.

That's the fourth time you done

played that b*tch of spades on my ass.

No, no, no, no, no.

Dowling had it three hands ago, and

two hands ago I got the black Maria,

so I don't want to

hear you bitchin', okay?

- Yeah, but he shot the moon

on that hand, didn't he?

- Yeah, I saw that.

- So it helped you.

- Now... Okay, you're right.

You ain't walking outta here

with our grits, Worm.

You know the drill, okay? I'm not

gonna smoke 'em. I'll hold on to 'em.

if you want 'em back, you can

trade me for 'em, or try to play

double or nothing tomorrow.

Murphy! What the hell you sittin'

there for? You're processed. Come on.

Processed? This motherf***er's

gettin' the jump.

Come on, man, have

some decency here, Worm.

You can buy all the smokes

you want in half an hour.

- What are you talking about?

I won these fair and square.

- You don't even smoke, Worm.

Jesus, you guys are such

f***in' babies. You know that?

If you're determined to die

of cancer, you really oughta

learn how to play cards.

Ain't a good idea to add

insult to injury, yo.

- That sh*t will come back and hurt you.

- You know what?

Not in this lifetime.

Enjoy your time.

Murphy.

[Mike Narrating] Worm's dad

did the grounds, when he wasn't

too f***in' drunk.

That's when we did 'em.

Of course, the grounds

weren't all we did.

Worm put us into a scam a day

on all the young aristocrats

we went to school with...

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