RRRrrrr!!!

On May 9, 1969, a mile|from the northern border of Laos,

the 101st US Army Infantry division

was advancing on hill 937.

For them,|it was just a recon mission.

For the Vietcong,|hill 937 was a strategic point.

The dozen soldiers in the company,|new to combat,

were to complete|this routine mission in two hours.

They fought back heroically|for 9 days.

This film does not tell their story.

The year is 35,000 BC.

In this untouched and savage world,

mammoths live in peace

with horsemoths,

henmoths

and wormoths.

Oblivious to evil,|fearing only the night,

this is where our ancestors,|the first men, lived.

All right...

- You knoW my Wife?|- Yes, Chief.

Beautiful, isn't she?

Right, roll call!

This is the Stone Age.

- Stone?|- Here!

- Stone?|- Here!

Absent again, that one.

Stone too, I suppose.

I kneW it.|AIWays off together.

This is nice.

It's nice being nice.

Ever feel like not doing nothing?

- No.|- Me neither.

A quick pus?

No thanks, I quit.

Rest your head.

Scared you'll mess your hair?

- Your hair's Weird.|- It's a period do.

Wasn't it straight at school?

It's alWays been curly,|like grandpa and dad.

My children|and grandchildren Were too!

- Just sWalloW it.|- Okay.

Daddy!

Hello, my chickadees!

Stone, have they been good?

Very. Just stoning each other|as usual.

That's good.

Just a second...

There's one missing!

Honey, didn't We have 12 kids|this morning?

That's right.

A Wild beast gobbled Stone up.

I kneW We had 12.

Come on, time for bed noW.|Off you go.

HoW much, Stone?

One baby boarmoth a day.|So half a baby boarmoth.

Dung!|I'm out of baby boarmoths.

That feels so good...

Take that thing.

Keep the change.

It's getting all dark!

Knock it off!

Hurry, night is spraWling.

- It's getting all dark!|- Knock it off!

- It's getting all dark!|- Knock it off!

You kids can't Watch|the mural all night.

Lights out.

Nearby,

among the barren red rocks,

lives a tribe with dirty,|muddy hair.

For centuries,

the Dirtyhairs have been at war|with their neighbours,

for the latter

hold the secret of shampoo.

Despite this ancient conflict,|the Cleanhairs feel

on first name terms with happiness.

Charge!

It really needs a hole.

Baby, I'm home.

- Well?|- Failed again.

- Same here.|- As usual.

- The others?|- All droWned.

What? Unky, unky, unky,|aunty and unky?

Unky too.

Unky too?

We've lost half our family tree!

Extinction looms.

Just give the shampoo thing a rest.

I don't see Why We can't manage it.

I just don't see Why.

Looks like the sh*t fairies|blessed us.

This shampoo War|has lasted 800 years.

800 years on the 25th.

We must break the circle of failure.

Here's What I suggest.

What do you think?

- You didn't say anything.|- Right, sorry.

Here's What I suggest...

We'll take a hostage!

What do you think?

Hi, Stone.

Why bother?|We're the first men, I tell you.

I'm on a dig.

What?

Just practising...

You knoW my Wife?|Beautiful, isn't she?

Healologist, bless this hunt.

Sorry, that's gibberish.

It's a neW language I made up.

Didn't the old one Work?

Boring...

May the hnt be good|and may nobody die.

What's With the accent?

It's my neW language.|The accent tends to linger.

Hunt and fish Well.|May meat floW like Water!

Don't sit up and beg.

Don't sit up and beg.

Good Yorkimoth.

So hoW do you like your Women, like?

Alive.

Well, my ideal dream Woman

Would be... a girl.

Be more specific.

Someone like me.

- Meaning?|- Well, me.

For a Woman like that,|I'd do crazy things.

Such as?

Such as stroke her hand.

Where are you going?

There may be eggs in it.

We'll say We hunted them|for shampoo.

Come on.

You sWim like a dogmoth.

- We shoW the Chief?|- No, he'll make us hunt.

Let's Wait the day out.

HoW d'you rate the Chief's Wife?

- She scares me.|- She turns me on.

Leave it, honey,|I'll bring the meat in later.

If We keep hunting those,|they'll be extinct.

Chief!

You knoW my Wife?

Beautiful, isn't she?

- Anyway... We Were hunting...|- Yes, We Were hunting

and hunting and hunting...

- Eggs...|- And as We Were hunting...

We found this for you|from the Dirtyhair Chief.

Put it doWn!

Gently!

Put it doWn and freeze!

I have no choice|but to take a hostage.

I've kidnapped myself.|My hand proves it.

Give me the recipe for shampoo|by sundown...

"... or I'll execute myself. "

Numbskull.

You skipped hunting again today.

In What Way?

You tWo really underdo it.

Gross. My dad's blubbing.

"Give me the recipe by sundoWn|or I'll execute myself. "

He said it, he did it.|A great man.

Great moron, more like.

FareWell, Lucy.

- It's getting all dark!|- Knock it off!

Dung! I forget every time.

It's you!

I'll put a light on.|It's so dark in here.

It's good to see y...

That hurts!

But it's good to see you.|Can I get you anyth...?

Stopped Working?

The Chief's mad|she didn't come to babysit.

Move yourselves, excuse me.

Move yourselves, excuse me.

Move me, excuse yourselves.

- Excuse me!|- Watch it!

Why make such a mammoth fuss|over one dead Woman?

All this mobbing and sobbing!

Animals eat people every day.

- This Was no animal.|- It Was!

- May I agree With you both?|- It Was an animal?

- Wasn't.|- Was!

- It Wasn't an animal!|- It Was!

- Look!|- Stop squabbling like infants.

I've never seen such infantry!

Let me see it.

The dead body, I mean.

I didn't get What he meant.|Did you?

If animals attack in caves noW...

Shut up about animals!

She's Whole!|An animal Would've eaten her.

- Unless he'd just had lunch!|- Or Was anorexic.

We all have relatives|Who've been eaten!

A animal kills to eat!

That's Wrong.

Wrong?

Come here, Blondy.

See that bearmoth?

Get up!

Up, slob!

I said "Wrong"|because he said "a animal".

If an animal didn't kill her,|maybe a vegetable did.

I've got it!

Look! She died of old age...

but young.

Sure! Makes sense.|I'll leave you to bury the body.

No!

This Woman died by the hand of man!

The hand of man?

- Nobody ever killed a body.|- They just did.

Stay.

All her orifices are seWn up.

- Even her toes?|- Toes aren't orifices.

- Why do We say "Socket toe me"?|- We don't.

And here's the bloody club|that killed her.

You can touch.|It's stopped Working.

A man killed another man.

And a Woman, at that!

Wait. I have an idea.

Let's sWap places.

This is something unheard-of.

I'm going to call it a "crime".

It just came to me.|I could say "murder", but no.

- I like "crime".|- Me too.

What nonsense!

I can see the point of stroking|a cheek or shuffling pebbles

but Why bother to kill a person?

She'd have died anyway,|sooner or later. It's ridiculous!

Why ridiculous?|It's neW. Novelty's alWays...

- I can see the point of frolicking...|- We got it.

We must find out Who did it.

What for?

To ask him Why he did it.

That hurt.

Are you sure, Chief?

I'm the neW Chief.|I decide neW stuff from noW on.

But it's cruel!

You Want silky hair or not,|for dung's sake?

- NoW. What's the singular of hair?|- Hair.

It's too cruel.

I'm hideous!

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