Rudderless Page #5

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- First grade.

Oh, wow, teachin' on Sundays now, huh?

Is the band any good?

Well, I like to think so,

but I'm a bit biased.

I'm Sam and that's Quentin.

Q.

- You're in the band?

- Watch it.

That really hurts. What?

I play guitar.

I'm April.

I'm Lizzie.

April and Lizzie, I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna make another round here,

see if I can drum up some more people

to stay for the show.

You keep my friend here company

and we'll play whatever song

you want to open with.

- Any song?

- You name it.

Paparazzi.

- Lady Gaga.

- I know.

- Bullshit!

- You did not know!

All right, give me one more chance.

The wheels on the bus go round and round

Round and round, round and round

The wheels on the bus go round and round

All day long

One, two, three, four!

The band on the stage

says jump, jump, jump!

Jump, jump, jump! Jump, jump, jump!

The band on the stage

says jump, jump, jump!

All day long!

Willie on the bass says

Turn around!

Turn around, turn around!

Willie on the bass says

Turn around

All day long

The people in the house say

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

The people in the house say

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

All day long

The owner of the joint says

Drain your glass!

Drain your glass, drain your glass!

The owner of the joint says

Drain your glass!

All day long

Let's pick up some stuff

to make margaritas.

Good idea.

Can we stop on the way?

Hey, that was awesome.

- Oh, good. Thank you.

- See you over there, man.

Hey, you need a ride?

No. Imma ride my bike.

I'll meet you over there.

- Okay, all right.

- Okay.

What kind of car is this? Is this safe?

Yeah, we can all ride up front.

Hi.

Rudderless rocks!

Yeah!

You just see the show?

You don't remember me, do you?

Were you sitting at the bar?

I'm Kate Lucas.

We've already met, in Josh's room.

Oh, my God.

It's been better lately.

Things have died down.

I even go out sometimes, like tonight.

Oh, Kate.

I go by Ann now. It's my middle name.

So you're a rock star now, huh?

Except you didn't write those songs,

did you?

Listen.

How could you play those songs?

Shame on you!

Hey, Sam!

I was not expecting this.

Sh*t. Hey.

I have to stay ahead of it.

Paint thinner's the only thing that...

But it's hell on your hands.

Tequila?

Yeah, I thought it was

a good choice for the occasion.

Happy birthday, Josh.

Happy birthday, Josh.

I think for mothers and daughters,

it's sweet 16.

For fathers and sons, it's 21.

Was I always such an a**hole?

You really grew into it, though.

Was I always the ice queen?

There were some notable thaws.

I had breakfast with one of the moms.

She wanted to talk, to forgive Josh...

- Em.

- She didn't blame us. It was amazing.

Don't. Don't.

It was like a weight lifting.

I've been thinking about

reaching out to the others.

- I'd like you to do it with...

- You know what, I should go.

It wasn't our fault.

You think I don't know

it wasn't our fault?

I don't know, Sam.

I don't know what you think!

Hey, are you okay to drive?

We did everything right.

We did everything we could.

Josh was sick.

You might want to dwell on this,

but I don't.

What does it matter?

His fault, your fault, my fault.

Who cares?

I don't need to ask

for anybody's forgiveness.

And I sure as f*** don't need

to meet any of the parents!

Man, you look like sh*t.

Well, hard to look better

than a man in uniform.

Must have been one hell of a weekend.

You know, me and Earl caught the

Crimson and Cream game on Saturday.

Sounds like fun.

Blah.

Okay, I'm gonna grab some more water.

What the hell you doin'?

Well, most people call it a nap.

In fact, in some cultures it's considered

a real boost to productivity.

You're fired, smart guy.

Well, if it weren't sad,

it'd be kind of endearing that you don't

realize I quit about an hour ago.

I keep trying to get Sam to go.

- Oh, he will.

- On the deck!

Yeah, yeah. He's not into it.

I don't know why.

Damn! Look at this boat you have, man.

I'm gonna be really disappointed.

Like, terribly upset. Naw, I'm just kiddin'.

Permission to come aboard?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know. I mean,

seriously, man, it's that good.

I mean, sooner or later

someone's gonna sign us.

Real Friends is a hit.

We do a regional tour and we're set.

You really think so?

F***, yeah, dude.

And we're talking eight to 10 a night.

No way, dude.

- Yeah.

- Thousand?

You're not making donuts anymore, man.

Don't, don't, don't, don't you worry, no

Don't, don't, don't, don't you worry

Don't, don't, don't you worry

about nothing

Don't, don't, don't...

Aiken!

Oh, f***. What?

I'm not gonna beat around the bush,

or p*ssy foot.

I think the best thing to do is say it...

Like a Band-Aid. Quick and...

Well, not really painless

because usually that hurts.

But what I mean is...

We were asked to play

the BUZZ 104 Block Party.

Look, we've been more than cool, man.

You only want to play Saturdays, fine.

You don't want to play other bars, okay,

we can swallow that for now,

but this is big, man. You owe us.

Dude, dude, dude. Wilco.

Death Cab, radio promos.

Do you know what this could mean, dude?

This could be the first step.

I mean, I don't wanna think

about the audience. Yes, I do.

But if Ben Gibbard digs it, who knows?

Yeah, they want us to play 15 minutes,

three songs or so.

You can do this one thing for us.

Guys, I know I'm dragging,

but it's complicated.

I should think about it.

There's nothing to think about, man.

We need this, Sam.

I need to think about it.

All right, easy.

Stop! There's a pole!

I know there's a pole back there!

I can see the damn pole.

There's a gas thing up there!

Don't tell me what to do, I can drive!

I've been drivin' all my damn life.

Just a little bit,

just a little bit. Stop!

Son of a b*tch! Hey, come on, come on.

Comin' back, comin' back!

You must be Tina.

And you must be Sam.

Who are you talkin' to? What are you...

Are you help, are you gonna help me?

Well, that is a big sucker.

- Watch it!

- Has its own zip code.

Slop!

Motherfuckin'...

- Let me see if I can...

- I wouldn't...

Son of a b*tch!

All right.

Man. Did... Did you try...

You're... Can you...

You need to cut it a bit...

Yeah, yeah. Tried that twice.

You know, I'm not too old to whoop yo'

ass if you start laughin', yeah?

I would not think of that.

Did you buy this?

Test drive.

Oh, oh, all right. Oh, yeah, hold on.

Hold on.

Wait a minute.

Go ahead, keep laughing.

So it's funny now.

Go ahead and laugh it up!

Keep laughin', both of you!

Yeah, as long as I'm here to amuse you.

- I told you so.

- Come on, Sam.

Sooner I can get you what you need,

the sooner I'm done with you.

Hey, can I give it a shot?

All right, you get it out

without a scratch,

I'll give you whatever

you came for for free.

Come on, Tina, don't help him.

I got it!

You did not. You're full of sh*t!

Have you got one of these?

I do.

I packed those tubes away.

I know where they are.

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