Run, Fat Boy, Run Page #6

Year:
2007
78 Views


So beautiful.

Just beautiful.

Thank you.

Thank you, everybody.

Crazy.

What'd I miss?

So...

You bloody...poison.

All right. You can stick it

up your ass...

you big American prick.

# Our love has changed #

- I don't mind they've decided.

- # It's not the same #

# And the only way to say it #

# Is say it #

# It's better #

# I can't concede #

# This way I feel #

# For all the time

we spend together #

# Forever just gets better #

# See, what I'm trying

to say is #

# You make things better #

# And no matter

what the day is #

# With you here, it's better #

# I'll stand by you #

# If you stand by me #

# I think it's time

that I reveal it #

# 'Cause I believe it #

# It's better #

# See, what I'm tryin'

to say is #

# You make things better #

Dennis!

So what do you think

we should do, Dennis?

Jake got really upset when

I tried to explain it to him.

So, I just wonder whether maybe

you could talk to him today?

You know, just--

If he heard it from you...

that you're always gonna be

his daddy, you know?

I take it the diet's off.

Dennis, are you even listening?

Dennis!

What? You want--

You want me to tell Jake...

what a--what a--

what a perfect guy Whit is...

and it's all gonna be

really perfect...

in his new perfect life?

No.

Not necessarily in those words.

I cannot believe

you're gonna marry this guy.

He pulled your engagement ring

out of a shoe.

Please, Dennis,

you're the only one...

who can help Jake

feel OK about this.

Listen, if you wanna marry Whit,

that's fine, OK?

You're a big girl, and you can

make your own mistakes, OK?

But don't come down here

while I'm eating...

my full English breakfast

with extra breakfast...

and expect me to make things

easier for you, OK?

Can I please get

some ketchup here?!

I'm not gonna run.

What?!

I said I'm not running.

What do you mean,

you're not running?

I mean, I'm not running. I'm

not running a stupid marathon.

Why? Because Libby's

getting married again?

What did you think?

She-- She's not gonna find

anybody better than you?

Well, let me be the first

to tell you.

You know, you're

not a tough act to follow.

Oh, what?

You think I don't know that?

I don't care any more!

- What about me?

- What about you?

I've got money on this!

A lot of money!

That is not my problem!

Quit it!

I'm not the quitter.

- Let me go!

- Ow, my ear!

- Let go!

- Ow!

Oh, OK! Oh, all right!

Oh, enough!

Just-- Just stop for a minute!

# Every day,

I love you less and less #

# I've got to get this feeling

off my chest #

# The doctor says

all I need's pills and rest #

# Since every day,

I love you less and less #

# Unless, unless #

- # I know, I feel it #

- Are you gonna run?

# In my bones #

- No!

# I'm sick, I'm tired #

# Of staying in control #

- # Oh, yes, I feel

I race upon a wheel #

- Oh, God!

- OK, OK, OK, OK.

- You'll run?

# Oh, yes, I'm stressed #

# I'm sorry I digressed #

# lmpressed,

you're dressed to SOS #

# Oh-oh #

- My balls!

- # And my parents love me #

# Oh-oh #

- # And my girlfriend loves me #

- That's it! Run away!

That's what you always do!

Run away!

# Every day,

I love you less and less #

Hey, what the--

- Hello, Dennis.

- What are you doing?

Gordon called.

He tells me

you're not running the marathon.

- Yeah, but--

- But, what?

Are you running or not?

- No, but--

- So there you go.

- Wait--

- Sorry, Dennis.

A bet's a bet. You're out.

Mr Ghoshdashtidar?

Mr Ghoshdashtidar!

- Who the hell are you?

- Oh, please, look.

- I thought you were

a good man, Dennis.

- Yeah...

A little screwed up here

in the head, OK.

But Maya was right about you.

You are no good.

- Look--

- Always running away...

never running

in the right direction.

Yeah, but, oh--

I bought you

new running shoes, Dennis.

The man said

they were the best you can buy.

- Yes, but--

- "But, but, but!"

Always "but"!

Always excuses with you!

Always some reason

why it's not your fault!

I have news for you,

Dennis Doyle from downstairs.

It's all your fault!

- Hi.

- Hi.

You-- You havin' a yard sale?

No. Where's Libby?

Uh, she's pickin' up Jake.

I suppose, uh,

congratulations are in order.

Oh, yeah. Well, thank you.

Best man won.

Well, I wasn't really aware

it was a contest.

Dennis! Dennis!

Is Jake with you?

No, why? I--

Well, is he here, Whit?

- I thought you were

picking him up.

- Jake!

- Libby?

- Jake!

Libby, what is--

- What did you say to him?!

- l-- What are you--

I didn't say anything.

What do you mean?

Well, he was at Emily's

and something happened.

He just ran out.

- What?

- He has run away, OK?

Jake ran away!

Jake!

Jake!

Gordon!

Gordon!

- Yes?

- Jake's run away.

- What?

- He's run away!

All right.

Well, wait a minute.

Just calm down.

Think for a second.

Where would he go?

Hiya, snot-face.

Yeah, he's fine.

We'll be back in about

a half an hour, I guess.

OK.

Is she mad at me?

No, no.

She's just glad you're OK.

Do you wanna tell me

what happened?

Emily doesn't wanna be

my girlfriend any more.

Why not?

'Cause there's this other boy,

Robert...

and he's got a ponytail...

and she likes him now.

What, she likes him

because he's got a ponytail?

Uh-huh.

Jake 'n Bake...

as you get older,

you're gonna realize...

there are a lot of things

that you don't like, OK?

Things much worse than this.

And when those things happen,

you can't just run away.

Why not?

Because it doesn't solve

the problem.

You know,

when you start running...

the problem's still there.

You've got to stick at it,

and then figure out a way...

to solve the problem, even if

it's really, really hard.

Is that what you do, Dad?

Dad?

Dennis!

Dennis!

Gordon!

Gordon!

- Found him?

- Yes.

Good. You can't stay here.

Gordon!

What?!

I'm running.

Well, come on up then.

Wow, these are great.

Where'd you get 'em?

- Whit's place.

- Thanks.

See, the trick is...

you got to load up on carbs

the night before the race.

I read it in Cosmo.

How are the legs? Not too tight?

No. No, they're fine.

Have you got everyhing

you need?

You know, your shoes,

your shorts, penis t-shirt?

- Yes.

- Oh.

I'm not really in the mood.

- It's for your nipples.

- What?

You run a 26-mile race,

a lot of friction...

is generated from your shirt

to your nipples.

And the last thing you want

during a marathon...

is nipple chafing.

- Cosmo?

- Yeah.

I'm not puttin' that

on my nipples, OK?

And I'm not gonna eat this.

Let's just go to sleep.

Well, at least,

let me make your bed for you.

Anything else?

Have you got a pillow?

- No.

- Well, then I guess I'm fine.

Hey, what time

do you have to be up tomorrow?

Well, we should set the alarm

for about seven o'clock.

- I don't have an alarm clock.

- Why not?

I never need to be anywhere.

The race starts at 9.00, OK?

So we should leave here

no later than 8.00, OK?

OK.

Night.

Love you.

A very good morning to you.

It's a beautiful day

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Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black (born Michael Ian Schwartz; August 12, 1971) is an American comedian, actor, writer, and director. He has starred in several TV comedy series, including The State, Viva Variety, Stella, Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp, The Comedy Quarter-hour, Michael & Michael Have Issues, and Another Period. He also appeared on Celebrity Poker Showdown several times. He released his first children's book, Chicken Cheeks, in 2009, and has since released six more, in addition to four books for adults. more…

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