Runaway Bride Page #15

IKE:

No... They're interesting guys. Each

one of these guys has something going

for him. I mean, one's been up Everest.

Another's become a priest. One's a

pretty good guitar player. And this

guy today tried to end world hunger, if

you can believe that...

FISHER:

Whoa, Ike. Getting a complex, buddy?

ELLIE:

Fisher, let him talk.

IKE:

(sits)

But one of those guys -- not one of

them -- knew her at all. Each one was

convinced that she was perfect for them,

but they didn't see her. And she never

showed up so they couldn't see her.

It's a very symbolic thing happening.

She becomes what she thinks they wanted

to be.

Fisher doesn't like the sound of this. He glances at Ellie, who

is looking very interested.

FISHER:

(in shock)

Ike is turning sensitive and I can't

bear to watch. I'm going to make a

fresh pot of tea.

The phone rings as Fisher exits. Ike goes to the piano as Ellie

picks up the phone.

ELLIE:

(into phone)

Yeah... Oh, Jay... Okay... Bye.

(hangs up, then yells to Fisher)

Fisher, don't forget the fortune

cookies.

She joins Ike at the piano. Ike gets serious.

IKE:

Is that what I did to you? Is that

what happened? Did I just not see

you?

ELLIE:

No. No, you didn't.

He hugs her.

IKE:

(heartfelt)

Well -- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry,

Ellie.

ELLIE:

I'm sorry, too.

(beat)

Wow. That only took us between years

to say.

Ellie blinks back sentimental tears.

CUT TO:

EXT. TROUT'S BARN - THE NEXT NIGHT

We hear Hawaiian music. We see a truck with GUESTS drive up and

HULA DANCERS through barn slats.

INT. TROUT'S BARN - NIGHT

It's a small barn that's been converted into a luau with a bar.

A BAND plays for two hula dancers. The Trouts had decorated it

as a little slice of Hawaii. There are tiki lights, numerous

rented plastic palm trees and fiberglass copies of Hawaiian

statuary. Strings of colored lights crisscross the ceiling.

It looks like a Hawaiian high school gym on prom night.

Maggie's family, Mrs. Trout and people we've already met, and

more, are here, milling around wit tropical drinks garnished

with umbrellas. Plastic leis abound and most people have

managed to find their old Hawaiian shirts.

As we come in, the hula dancers finish their applause and Mrs.

Trout announces. Hula dancers stop.

LOU TROUT:

Welcome to our annual country luau. As

you know, Betty and I got married on

the rim of the crater, Diamond Head.

MRS. TROUT

(grabbing the

microphone)

This year, we're dedicating our first

dance to the soon-to-be newlyweds, the

King and Queen of Hawaii, Maggie and

Bob.

The couple enters. Bob is a goody bronzed god in his King

Kamahamela outfit. Maggie is spectacular in her authentic

looking Hawaiian Princess get-up. But her face reflects none

of the festivities around her. Every now and then, she looks up

and glances around for Ike, hating herself for it.

MRS. TROUT (cont'd)

King and Queen, dance.

Maggie and Bob start to dance as the Quarter sings "Aloha Oe."

MRS. TROUT (cont'd)

Everybody dance.

Everybody dances.

TIMES OUT:

Maggie and Bob pose for pictures with some of the guests.

MRS. TROUT

Pictures of the King and Queen.

Dennis poses with Maggie. Cory poses with Bob. Mrs. Trout runs

out of film and goes to get more, leaving Peggy and Maggie alone.

Peggy whispers to Maggie.

PEGGY:

Lighten up, wahine.

MAGGIE:

Lighten up, what?

PEGGY:

This party is for you and Bob. Get

your mind off the reporter.

MAGGIE:

I haven't seen him in twenty-four hours.

It just gives me the creeps a little bit.

I'd feel better if I knew where he was.

PEGGY:

(nods to door)

Would it?

ANGLE ON:
Ike just entering the party. At least he tried.

He's got a tropical sheet wrapped around his pants and shirt.

He walks to the bar and is greeted warmly by Lee. Maggie gets

very flustered.

PEGGY (cont'd)

What are you doing?

MAGGIE:

(after a beat)

I'm going to go dance with Bob.

Because he's the man.

(referring to her headdress)

I like those grapes.

Maggie dances affectionately with Bob as Mr. Trout, tending

bar, greets Ike.

LOU TROUT:

Hey, Mr. Graham, welcome to our luau.

What can I get you?

IKE:

You got something without a toy in it?

TIME CUT:

A LITTLE LATER - CLOSE ON

A pair of expressive pantomime "A Little Grass Shack".

PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

Mrs. Trout is on stage, introducing hula contestants. Grandma

judges the Hawaiian dancing. The party is at full tilt -- a

little wild, a little goofy. Some guests (Bob, Cindy, Cory, Lee

and Ted) do the limbo. Walter, Mrs. Pressman doesn't turn as

she hears him.

IKE:

Aloha. That's a very fetching

headdress you're wearing.

Ike leans into Maggie, enjoying the smell of her hair. She

notices, but acts casual.

MAGGIE:

Where did you disappear to?

IKE:

Missed me bad, huh?

TIME CUT:

All the guests start banding their pineapple cups. Walter rises

unsteadily, lifting his pineapple.

MRS. TROUT

Attention. Listen to Walter. Listen

close, he slurs.

(then)

Shut up, wahines!

WALTER:

In the tradition that has grown through

the years, it is now Toast Time! First

up, our host, "A Honey of a Beekeeper",

Lou Trout..

Lou Trout stands with his glass raised.

LOUT TROUT:

May the groom's heart be filled with

hopes and the bride's feet be filled

with lead!

There are shouts of "Hear hear!" Walter roars.

MRS. TROUT

May the pitter-patter of little feet

not be Maggie's.

MRS. PRESSMAN

May the gifts be returned!

TED:

May the back of the dress be as pretty

as the front!

The laughter swells and swells, led by Walter.

ANGLE ON:

Ike watches as Maggie takes the heat, raising her glass along

with the others. Bob raises his glass like the good sport he is.

Ike can't believe it.

WALTER:

You know the old saying, "You're not

losing a daughter..." Well, I'd like to!

Walter gets a bit laugh. He goes again.

WALTER (cont'd)

Maggie may not be Hale's longest

running joke...

(under her breath)

Maggie finishes the punchline along with his father.

WALTER AND MAGGIE

-- But she's certainly the fastest.

Uproarious laughter. Maggie looks terribly pained. Ike's had

enough. He pushes himself to his feet. Walter is thrilled. He

shushes the CROWD.

WALTER (cont'd)

Oh, look, Mr. Graham, how about a toast?

IKE:

I don't know, give me a minute.

(to Maggie)

Are you all right with this?

MAGGIE:

Excuse me?

IKE:

Are you all right with this? You think

this is funny?

MAGGIE:

Yes.

IKE:

I don't and I don't think you should...

BOB:

It's a joke. They're kidding.

WALTER AND CROWD

(yell)

Come on and give us a toast.

IKE:

You want me to make a toast? Okay...

I'll give you a toast. To Maggie's

family and friends. May you find

yourselves the bull's eye of an easy

target. May you be publicly flogged

for all of your bad choices and may

your noses to rubbed in all of your

mistakes...

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