Runner Runner Page #3

He was a good guy. He was my...

He was my best friend.

Why The House?

Because the house always wins.

Which is why we don't have to cheat people.

We have the greatest business model

in the world.

50,000 players, three cents a second,

average rake.

That's just poker, okay?

The rest of the site we're doing

$1.2 to $1.9 million a day.

That translates into $750,000

net profit per day.

But the math is right.

Am I missing something?

No, you didn't miss anything.

We missed something.

We had a couple of our programmers

who decided it would be a good idea

to write a backdoor into the code

so that they could see player's hole cards.

And they cheated you.

And they cheated other players.

And I'm really sorry and I'm embarrassed.

And that has nothing to do with what

this company and what this site stand for.

You saw it.

The donkeys in Compliance missed it.

This is why they're on airplanes

to wherever the f***

donkeys from Compliance come from.

But you came to me.

You didn't tell anybody else.

Because you know rumors

of cheating and bullshit

can affect these sites like f***ing bedbugs

and you can never get rid of it.

That took a lot of balls.

Honestly, I couldn't get to you

any other way.

Regardless, I'm very grateful.

I am nothing if not world-class

at showing my gratitude

so we have checked you in

to one of our company's

executive luxury penthouse suites

and your account has been credited

with the amount of money that you lost.

I don't know what to say. Thank you.

Thank you.

Just do me a favor and don't try to win

your tuition online again, okay?

How do you know about that?

How do you think I know?

Studying my player history,

ran it through your algorithm,

saw that I was playing

way above my mean.

No, none of that sh*t.

We bribed your roommate, Craig.

Look, Richie,

I understand why you did what you did.

I know about what happened

with that job on Wall Street.

You were trying to get rich,

and you were trying to be respectable.

And you would have,

if you had another year and a half.

Those people took your labor...

And my f***ing money.

And your f***ing money,

and they burned it all up.

And now you're f***ed.

Because Wall Street's a different place.

The rules have changed.

The odds of getting a job

at a good hedge fund on Wall Street

are roughly the same

as hitting runner-runner flush

in a hand of Texas Hold 'Em.

You probably know what the odds of

hitting a runner-runner flush

in Texas Hold 'Em are, don't you?

Roughly four percent.

Roughly four percent.

Well, listen,

I put a little something

extra in here for your troubles.

That will get you through your Masters.

I think that ends our business here.

Unless, of course,

you feel like sticking around

and taking a shot at a real business.

Guaranteed seven figures

in the first 18 months.

Guaranteed eight figures

in the first three years.

I have met very few people in my career

who I think can be really, really

exceptional at this.

And you are one of those people.

The most important rule in the world

is that nobody gives you sh*t.

You want to do something in this

f***ing life, you go out and build it.

What do you say?

Is it Newark,

or you stick around here with me?

What do you think?

I think any question that starts with

"Either are you back to Jersey or 'X'",

the correct answer is "X".

I was in.

And I took to it like a gambler's son.

He gave me the full run of the place.

I started right in

tuning up the affiliate business.

I learned about payment processing,

off-shore banking.

He even let me bring in my own people.

They needed some Princeton math,

so I gave it to them.

Thirty billion in online gambling

and I was there

to make sure we got our piece.

Three months went by

like a weekend in Vegas.

Suddenly I have everything I want.

Well, almost everything.

This is a good one to bet on.

His name is Ojo Rojo.

Mister Herrera.

Paid in total.

With dollars, as you wanted.

What was once paid in full

is now only half.

Next time bring 500.

Here we go.

You might find this hard to believe

because of how welcoming

my country can be,

but some of my colleagues

in the legislature

believe your kind is ruining Costa Rica.

Me doing damage?

I'm a fountain of money in this shithole.

I put millions into your economy.

I give employment to hundreds of people,

with better salaries than you can pay.

I understand, that's

exactly what I tell them.

But they go on and on

about how the gringos

and their online gaming money

attracts undesirables,

breeds prostitution, even drugs.

How much did I give you already?

Who knows?

If I give someone 5.7 million dollars

in three and a half years,

I notice it.

And in return, I expect more

than advice on a horse.

I want stability.

Listen to me.

You have stability and you know it.

We've been a democracy for over 50 years

because we don't give the people

a reason to unseat us.

And the people of this country

would love nothing more

than to haul an American in

as the face of corruption.

So, that's why it's gonna cost you

more money.

Good luck with the horse.

All I had to do was make sure

the numbers added up

and maybe shave the player edge

here or there,

0.8 for blackjack, 0.6 for craps

and 3.4 for poker,

everybody was happy.

- Hey.

- There he is.

Ivan.

Thanks for having me, man.

What do you think?

Uh, crazy.

It's a little over the top,

but what are you gonna do?

I invited your buddies, too.

I just can't catch

a f***ing break.

What are you crying about?

You dropped three grand.

You'll pick it up later tonight.

It's like they want me to lose.

Yeah, that's why they build casinos.

No roll. Shooter, you can't slide the dice.

No roll? F*** you, pay the bet.

Sir?

Pay the bet, you f***ing grease ball.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy, man.

The stickman is just trying to do his job.

He fucks up again,

he's gonna have that stick up his ass.

Why don't you let me take over?

Ladies and gentlemen,

the point is still eight.

Get your hard ways in

while the dice are in the middle.

Oh, that's great, Zorro, work the stick.

Guess you don't have the stones to play.

How about this?

I'll fade your action.

Just me, or the whole table?

The whole tub.

Huh?

How about that?

If this goes bad, I may need some credit.

Will 30K cover it? We'll

call it an advance.

Hey, shooter, try to hit that back wall.

Believe me, she'll appreciate it.

What shot Jesse James? A 45.

Centerfield.

Press it. All the hard ways.

Shooter wants to press it.

Shooter, shooter.

Six, the hard way.

If he doesn't roll a seven and crap out,

this is gonna cost you 100 grand.

The house can't sweat the money.

Hey, shooter, do me a favor.

I'm thinking of a number.

That's the number.

Let's go.

Thanks for playing.

You know what?

You forgot the eternal truth.

The house always wins.

That was pretty impressive.

That was pretty lucky.

Thanks for backing me.

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