Running with Demons

---

Todd Crandell:

My name is Todd Crandell.

I was a drug addict and

alcoholic for 13 years of my

life.

My wife Melissa and I

and our four children,

live in

Sylvania, Ohio; my hometown.

Voice Over (Todd Crandell):

In 1993 I got a second chance

and it changed my life.

Now I change others lives.

Today I am a licensed

professional counselor,

a licensed chemical

dependency counselor and have

an MAC;

Master of Counseling degree.

I am the founder of

Racing for Recovery,

a nonprofit dedicated to

helping others with their

drug and alcohol

dependency and recovery.

But because of the support

from the people here...

Crandell:
I am also an

extreme triathlete and use

endurance races like the

Ironman and now the Ultraman

triathlon to spread my

message that with sobriety,

anything is possible.

Everything I do, I do for my

family

and Racing for Recovery.

But theres something I

haven't recovered from,

battles I am

still fighting.

This is my

struggle, this is my life,

this is my story.

I am running with demons.

Ominous noises and hard rock

start up...

Male Speaker:
We have the man

who is going to be the next

to finish.

The man who has shown that

with sobriety anything is

possible.

He became sober

April 15th 1993;

he's been Racing for Recovery

to help other people with

drug and alcohol problems.

Here he is coming on

the homestretch,

he s done the

world championships;

he did that last year.

Its going to be 42 year

old Todd Crandell out of

Sylvania, Ohio and

a tremendous job.

18 Ironman to his credit

including Ironman Canada in

the year 2000 he s

racing away to the way to the

32 oh 3, 33 tops in there.

He's married with four

children might be

very proud to of this stuff

as well 10:
30 on day one,

11:
12 yesterday

To Todd Crandell,

congratulations went from

addict to Ironman.

That was a very great title

as well and the film for now

Running with Demons and we

certainly appreciate the fact

that already this year

he's done Ironman Germany,

Ironman Switzerland and

New Orleans 70 point 3.

Thanks for coming

to Canada Todd Crandell,

no doubt he is going to get

another tattoo about this one

Hard rock music starts and plays

over the images...

Sounds of water underneath

Male Speaker:
Good luck

to you all.

May the wind be at your back,

see you at the finish line.

Male Speaker:
All right.

Cheering sounds with clapping

Male Speaker:
All right you

got about 10 minutes to get

warmed up everybody.

Todd Crandell:
This is

the part that's like...

It s the most nerve-racking

of Ironman's anything the

start of these things is

the most nerve-racking.

It'll take me about maybe 20

minutes into the swim before

I kind of like, okay Im good

nice start going and like I

said getting out of the water

I'll be like wow I got that

done. And then the

bike for me is the biggest

challenge.

I am not a great biker that s

the hardest thing for me so

the next, the rest of today

and then all of tomorrow will

be the challenge.

And then the run for

me that's my thing.

Hey thanks, thanks thanks.

Thanks!

Male Speaker (off Screen):

It is time.

Todd Crandell:
Let's go.

Male Speaker:

Undecipherable over PA System

Speaker:
The race has begun.

Male Speaker:
Yeah he's on

his way and Darwin asked me

how he was in

the last Ultraman.

And he's definitely

relaxed this time around and

a lot less stuff going on

and he knows what he s doing.

And he knows of his

ability so it is... uh

he'll be fine it'll be a

goodtime out there he s going

to have a goodtime

and enjoy himself so.

Male Speaker:
Yeah

it's a beautiful morning.

Male Speaker:
Yeah the

water s perfect.

And this is the start so.

Male Speaker:
Yeah.

Rock music starts up and

runs through montage.

Todd Crandell:
Everything I

am today started from the

tragedy of my mom,

committing suicide.

She battled a drug addiction

that wasn't as long as mine

but it was intense.

She did cocaine, drank, did

a lot of psychedelics she was

into acid

quite a bit.

But speed mainly

was her thing,

speed and heroine.

And had overdosed

a number of times,

had to be brought back to

life a couple of times.

My mom died from driving

herself head on into a brick

wall under a bridge, under a

bridge overpass.

She drove herself head on

into it and took her own

life.

Emotionally, the traumas that

we face in our younger lives

or even when

something happens later on,

that's the stuff that

affects how we handle it.

So looking at the situation

I'm in with respect to my

marriage right now.

In a lot of ways,

the anger, the sadness,

the worry, all

those feelings that I have

right now are the same as

what I went through as a kid.

I don't want to be abandoned,

I don't want to feel broken

again, I don't,

I've experienced that.

I don't handle that well and

I don't want to go through

that again and

that's what I'm,

feeling right now.

It's almost like a test, it's

like I'm being thrown back

emotionally to three and a

half years old and saying

you're dealing with

this all over again.

And this time how are

you going to handle it.

So I mean having our marriage

and I'm thinking back at how

I used to handle this

stuff with my mom.

With anger, you know,

suicidal thoughts,

depression that's how I

know how to deal with these

feelings that are coming back

into my life again which I

thought were gone and here

they are again and that's all

I'm really equipped to deal

with it are those feelings.

Now I'm doing everything I

can to improve on that but

I'm not perfect.

So when those issues come

up that's where it

stems from.

And I'm definitely

correlating the two because

they'e the same feelings;

it's just a different

timeframe in my life

and a different person.

It's not like I woke up one

day and said - Oh poor me my

mom died, I'm going to throw

my life down the tube. But

it's a catalyst to what

eventually led to that self

destruction at the

highest level.

And I was searching for ways

to deal with that understand

it overcome it and

they were all wrong.

Then it started to become,

well this is my life this is

my destiny Im going to

end up the way my mom did;

this is my job now.

Those reasons then started

to develop into a way of life

which then became...

including a full blown

addiction.

I thought that using drugs

and drinking as much alcohol

as I could somehow would make

me feel better about myself

and would take away the

emotional traumas that I was

dealing with.

But that doesn't work, and

that's when drugs just became

a way for me to not feel and

my first thought of the day

was I hate myself, I got to

get through another day and

you start adding,

cocaine, heroin,

pot, acid, Quaaludes, Valium,

speed everything I could get

my hands on to that

mix and it then becomes,

I hate myself, I don't

really want to live,

and I'm physically strung out

on these chemicals I've been

putting in my system, for

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