Rupture: A Matter of Life OR Death Page #7

That's not... It doesn't take too long to think about that.

I can't play in front of you, ma'am.

- So we are brothers and sisters in this.

- Yeah, exactly.

- I am also very blessed.

- Yeah. - Very blessed.

I don't believe in God, in fact I'm the other extreme,

I'm an atheist, not because I don't believe...

not because the brain-mind continuum aspect,

it's just that I have seen so many bad things happen to people.

Be afflicted with so many bad things,

or left in such a damaged state or such human tragedies

that I cannot conceive that a god would want that.

- I agree with you.

- That's the reason why I'm an atheist.

COUNTRY MUSIC:

There has to be joy and laughter,

which is what we experience at the Royal Hospital

of Neurodisability, watching some of them dance to music.

It's...it's touching to see them really have pleasure.

You find there's joy.

There's despair, too,

and hopelessness, let's not forget.

For some people, disability is just overwhelming.

And that's the saddest thing.

We should never despair.

Jane, can you tell us about Jeffrey?

Yeah, he was previously an inspector of taxes,

so he is quite high educational level, really.

And the results of his brainstem stroke are that he is paralysed,

or partially paralysed,

but he is still cognitively completely intact,

so he understands everything you say to him, ask of him.

Sometimes he finds it difficult to respond to things

because of his communication difficulties.

He's only got his eyes that he can actually communicate with.

This is like a therapeutic exercise, OK?

So don't worry too much about the game content.

Lift that hand up. Up, up, up, up, up.

Yes. Keep going.

Yep. Brilliant!

OK, Jeffrey, are you OK?

You OK to carry on? Can you give me an eyes up for yes?

'To be or not to be...

'..that is the question.

'Whether it is nobler in the mind

'to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...

'..or to take arms against a sea of troubles.

'And by opposing, end them.'

My very first clinical placement was at a neuro rehab hospital.

And one of the very first patients I came across was a boy

who had walked into an empty lift shaft

and had sort of fallen, I think it was three floors,

and very nearly died.

This was my first encounter with that kind of really severe disability.

I was absolutely shaken by it.

And I felt, you know, why? Why let him...?

Why should he live? It's not fair to him or his parents.

And he looked absolutely destroyed and distressed.

He was in a hell.

And then I was around one day when his mother came in

and she sat with him and cradled his head in her arms

and he was a different, you know...

The whole was greater than the sum of the parts.

He was different.

There was something there that came through as a consequence

of his mother actually being there with him, holding him.

- Jeffrey understands everything

I'm saying. Don't you? - Yes. - Yeah.

The additional problem that Jeffrey has is that he hasn't got

complete control of his ocular muscles,

so sometimes when he tries to move his eyes in one direction

they don't respond to what you want them to do, do they either?

Which is difficult.

Obviously, to be able to move his hand,

it might seem like a very, very small step to other people,

but it's a huge step for him, because when he arrived here,

he was completely paralysed and could only move his eyes.

'He's starting to see now improvement in himself

'and he's starting to think that he can achieve things.'

OK. Don't wear yourself out.

You do too much.

'That is the question.

'To die, to sleep. No more.

'And by a sleep, to say we end the heartache

'and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.'

'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

'To die, to sleep...

'..to sleep...'

When you see sufferers, however severely disabled they are...

..experience joy for a couple of seconds,

you realise that it's worth helping them.

And when you see these extraordinary, you know,

therapists like at the Royal Hospital of Neurodisability,

who are there,

dedicated to the brain injured, it's definitely worth having a life.

About two years ago,

Marc was having some headaches,

not feeling very well,

and it was diagnosed

that he had a tumour.

He went into hospital to have the tumour removed

and that all went absolutely fine.

But unfortunately, while Marc was in hospital,

he got meningitis,

which was actually what the cause was of Marc's difficulties.

Which one did you enjoy most?

I'm going to get you to type out which one you enjoyed most.

'D...

'O...

'C...

'K...

'Space... Dock...

'Of...

'The...

'B-A...

'Y...

'Dock of the Bay.'

PIANO MUSIC:

# Sittin' in the morning sun

# I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come

# Watchin' the ships roll in

# And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

# Sittin' on the dock of the bay

# Watchin' the tide roll away

# Sittin' on the dock of the bay

# Wastin' time

# Sittin' on the dock of the bay

# Wastin' time. #

APPLAUSE:

Did you enjoy that one?

'Fantastic.'

# I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay

# Wastin' time

# Look like nothing's going to change

# Everything still remains the same. #

Everybody has had their personal journey, but they've been through

this place where the brain has been very affected and has had to try

and come back and there is an openness to try and help those

who need help.

And who are isolated, as well.

When I left the hospital, everything was in slow motion.

And I spent four months trying to kind of get back into life.

And I remember there was a school a couple of blocks away

and there were kids playing basketball

by the school and I just remember...

..I remember watching them...

..and thinking...

.."Never take your life for granted again."

Because they were running...

..and it was so healthy.

And I thought, "Never take your life for granted again."

And that memory serves to cross these vast, barren landscapes,

to return to an area that they remember they had found water,

maybe ten years ago.

This memory allows them to live.

It wasn't quite what you expected, Maryam,

you pictured scenes of personal tragedy and hopelessness,

the anguish and sorrow of profound disability.

Well, that can't be denied.

But normality has a habit of seeping through,

and more than that, vitality, a sharpened sense of the value

of ordinary things,

of the sheer privilege of being alive.

Who knows if we'll ever fathom the mysteries of the brain,

the thing is to appreciate the fragile wonder of it all.

Down to the last breath, down to the dying embers of consciousness.

Life is good.

We forget that.

I could hold my brain in my two hands.

It is the size of...

It's like a handful. It's like a handful of porridge.

And that brain is

my gestures, my personality,

my beliefs, my movements, everything.

My entire life is in that handful of porridge.

Of course there are ups and downs, you know.

I can't say I was always cheerful every time,

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