Ruthless People Page #5

Synopsis: Sam Stone (Danny DeVito) is a clothing manufacturer, who married his wife Barbara (Bette Midler), for the money that she was supposed to inherit from her dying father, but her father didn't die for another fifteen years. He is now planning to kill her and he tells his girlfriend Carol Dodsworth (Anita Morris) what he is going to do. He then on his way home to do just that but when he gets there, she's not there. He then receives a call from someone claiming to have kidnapped Barbara and threatening to kill her if he informs the police, which he does hoping that they do. What Stone doesn't know is that the kidnappers, Ken (Judge Reinhold) and Sandy (Helen Slater) Kessler are a couple whose idea for a garment he stole and made fortune off, are not that lethal, as a matter of fact Barbara's more lethal. And what Stone doesn't know is that Carol, has another boyfriend named Earl Mott (Bill Pullman), and they plan to blackmail Sam, by videotaping him disposing of Barbara's body. When Earl g
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Production: Buena Vista Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 1 win & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
78
Rotten Tomatoes:
94%
R
Year:
1986
93 min
934 Views


Ah, yeah, the big dog | won't hurt you, huh?

He's just a big--

Policeman | Chief Benton!

- What is it? | - I found this in the backyard.

Chloroform. | And Officer Williams | found snapshots...

of Mr. Stone | and another woman.

Really?

Jackpot!

Mr. Kessler? | Ken Kessler?

- Yes? | - We're police officers.

I'm Lt. Bender. | This is Lt. Walters.

May we have a word | with you, please?

Oh, sure. | Uh--

Come upstairs. | We can talk in the salesmen's office.

- [ Kenny ] Have a seat. | - Thank you.

Mr. Kessler, | over a week ago...

a lady named Barbara Stone | was kidnapped from her Bel Air home.

- Are you familiar with the case? | - Yeah, I read about it.

We believe the vehicle | the kidnappers used left a | tire print in her driveway.

We took a mold of that print, | had our lab analyze it, and the | results were rather interesting.

[ Walters ] These are | the prints of the kidnapper's car,

and these are the prints | of your car.

Beeper

Is there a phone | I can use?

Uh, sure, | it's right over there on the desk.

Amazing similarity!

Would you excuse me | for a second?

I've got to go to the bathroom. | I've got a touch of the stomach flu.

Sure, go right ahead.

Chloroform? What | about fingerprints?

Bingo! | We have a winner.

You won't believe this. | They found evidence implicating Stone.

- Stone? You're kidding? | - Chloroform and fingerprints.

I'll be damned. | Let's get out of here.

- Where's Kessler? | - In the john.

- [ Grunting ] | - [ Glass Breaking ]

Grunting

Stomach flu.

Mr. Kessler?

I'll b-be | right out.

Don't bother, sir. | Thank you for your help.

We'll just show | ourselves out.

Loud Groaning

- Hello. | - All right, Mr. Stone.

We came very close | to killing your wife,

but she begged us repeatedly | for just one more chance.

So in the spirit of | compassion and mercy,

we decided not to kill her | just yet.

Compassion and mercy?

What the hell's going on | over there? I thought | you people were ruthless!

- We are, Mr. Stone. | - Then what's this phone call about?

We called to make you | an offer,

- an offer even you can't refuse. | - Oh?

Yeah. | 10,000.

Fat chance!

Mr. Stone, this is no joke! | We're desperate people.

I believe this is a joke, pal, | and you're it.

The last time we spoke, | you said my wife would be...

in the morgue | if I didn't pay.

Well, I didn't pay and | today I was at the morgue.

She wasn't there. | You lied to me.

- You know what I think of you? | - No.

You got no nuts! | What do I have to do?

Put a gun in your hand, aim, | and pull your finger down, | you spineless wimp?

I dare you | to kill her!

Now that | oughta do it.

Hey, you? | Wanna sell me a stereo?

- Yeah, I'll sell you a stereo. | - All right.

I'm lookin' for something | real hot. I don't wanna | get ripped off, you know?

Okay.

You're looking for some | real hot speakers, right?

I'm not talking about | something you just listen to.

- I'm talking about the kind | of sound you can feel. | - Yeah!

- You know what I mean. | - Yeah!

When it comes to great stereo, | you can't beat big speakers.

I'm talking about big speakers | with big woofers like this.

You can get this. It has | a nice little eight-inch | woofer, or this ten-incher.

Over here we have | a nice big 12-inch.

But I can tell by the look | on your face, man, you want | something even bigger.

"- F***, yeah! | - ""F***, yeah"" is right."

We gotta go to | the big room for this!

The big room! | Check it out, my man.

The flagship of the | entire Dominator line. The MX-10.

I have a pair | of these myself.

30 inches of thigh-slappin', | blood-pumpin' nuclear brain damage!

Bitchin'! | Hey, what's the f***ing cost?

That's the bitchin' | part about it. It don't matter.

If you can't afford it, | f***in' finance it!

[ Loud Hard Rock ]

Yeah! | Whoo!

So what if it's as big | as a Subaru and costs as much!

You'll never have | to trade this in.

This is gonna be with you | for the rest of your life.

And when you die, | they can bury you in it!

I want it!

This guy is okay. | First guy I feel I can really trust.

Wait a minute. | Why don't I show you something else?

They're not very big, | but Consumer Stereo | rates them a best buy.

The Sentry EV-1s. | And they're not gonna break you.

Kick it out. | Two more.

That's it! | Whew, I'm pooped.

- Let's take a break. | - Take a break? | Come on, you little wimp!

Let's go!

Here's your lunch.

It's fruit salad. | You seem to like that the most,

although you still don't eat | as much as you should.

My body's become a | more efficient machine. | I go farther with less food.

You must be in | pretty good shape by now.

You certainly look good.

You've lost a lot | of weight.

Huh? | What?

Oh, yeah, you've lost a lot | of weight, at least 20 pounds.

What?

Tw--

Do you have | a scale?

- I don't know how to thank you! | - Thank me?

I've been to... | ten different fat farms in,

God, I don't know | how many years.

And I lost a total, | a total of six pounds.

I have lost | 20 pounds!

I wasn't sure, | but...

it felt thin.

You wouldn't have a-- | never mind.

- A-- A what? | - No, no, no.

It's very silly.

No, what? | Please tell me.

All my life I wanted to have | a slinky little figure...

so I could wear some | Bill Blass or Valentino,

some exotic evening gown | like Christian Dior, Jerry Galanos.

Are you kidding me? | You're kidding me, aren't you?

I'm sorry. I know | it's ridiculous to think | that somebody of your,

- well, moderate means-- | - I'll be right back. | Just don't go anywhere.

- Sam Stone? | - Yeah?

Mr. Stone, | you're under arrest.

For mixing | cotton with silk?

This is absolutely | beautiful!

Whose design is this? | Is this Bill Blass? Albert Nipon?

- Nah, too conventional. | - Halston?

I know who did it. | Oscar de la Renta.

I designed it.

Get outta here! | Really? Wow!

You're a professional.

- Nah. | - You are! This is sensational. | Do you have any more?

Wait!

I won't do you no harm | no

You've got to be all mine | all mine

Ooh, foxy lady

Giggling

Foxy

So, Sam told you | I was his partner?

No way! He was | just passing the buck.

Oh, God.

So, when do I | get out of here?

As soon as Mr. Stone | pays the ransom.

What's the problem? | What is the ransom?

It, it was $500,000.

That shouldn't be | a problem.

He complained.

He complained?

And then we dropped our price | to $50,000.

- Yeah? | - He didn't pay.

He didn't pay?

So now what?

So now...

we're dropping our price again | to $10,000.

Do I understand this | correctly?

I'm being | marked down?

What is this? | The bargain basement?

I've been kidnapped | by Kmart!

Don't cry, Barbara.

Hey, check it out.

You sure got | a pretty mouth.

All right, Stone, | let's go.

- Hey, was it something I said? | - Yeah.

Although this is | a capital crime,

the accused is an upstanding | member of the community,

a responsible and | successful businessman...

and has never before | posed a threat to society.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Dale Launer

Dale Launer (born May 19, 1952) is an American comedy screenwriter. His films include Ruthless People, Blind Date, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and My Cousin Vinny. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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