Sam Steele and the Junior Detective Agency

1

[projector whirring]

[birds chirping]

[wind chime jingling]

[light clicks]

[crickets chirping]

[soft cryptic orchestral music]

[crickets chirping]

- [exhales sharply]

[engine turning over]

[brassy detective music]

[spirited saxophone music]

[tense orchestral music]

- DES MOINES, IOWA:

THE CAPITAL CITY.

A NICE TOWN WITH HARDWORKING,

LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS.

BUT EVEN THE NICEST TOWNS

HAVE BACK ALLEYS

AND BACK ALLEY TROUBLE.

THAT'S WHERE I COME IN.

I CARRY A BADGE.

IT'S PLASTIC.

[anxious clamorous music]

I'M SAM STEELE JR.,

PRIVATE EYE,

AND RIGHT NOW, TROUBLE IS JUS AROUND THE CORNER.

THAT HERD OF WATER BUFFALO

CHASING ME:

IS BILLY COOK AND HIS GANG.

BILLY'S THE UGLY ONE.

I KNOW, THEY'RE ALL UGLY.

- GET HIM!

- AS SOON AS I CAN BREATHE

AGAIN,

I'M CONTACTING LENORE.

SHE'S MY RECEPTIONIS AT THE JUNIOR DETECTIVE AGENCY.

I'M THE JUNIOR,

AND SHE'S THE ONE WHO MAKES SURE

I STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

IT'S NOT EASY.

[breathing heavily]

LENORE.

LENORE, CODE 11.

I'M NEAR A DUMPSTER IN AN ALLEY

OFF OF COURT STREET.

- SAM, DARLING, CODE 11

IS AN EMERGENCY PIZZA DELIVERY.

I TRUST YOU MEAN CODE 12?

BILLY COOK IS ABOUT TO STOMP YOU

INTO GROUND CHUCK.

- RIGHT AGAIN, LENORE.

I'LL HAVE THAT TO KEEP ME WARM

IN THE HOSPITAL.

- CODY, GET AWAY

FROM THAT SMELLY THING.

- LENORE?

LENORE?

LENORE, I'M IN HERE.

- I DON'T DO DUMPSTERS.

- I'M FINE.

I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

[grunting]

OKAY.

OKAY.

AH!

- DON'T TELL ME THIS IS

OUR NEW OFFICE.

- WHAT DID I SAY ABOU BILLY COOK?

- YOU SAID HE WAS A BAD EGG

AND THAT HE'D BE MAD

THAT YOU CAUGHT HIM STEALING

FREDDIE MALONE'S BICYCLE.

- AND?

- YOU SAID WHEN HIS MONTH OF

DETENTION AND GROUNDING WAS UP

THAT HE'D BE COMING AFTER YOU.

- AND WHAT ELSE?

- YOU WANTED ME TO REMIND YOU

THAT THE MONTH WAS UP.

- AND WHAT DID YOU DO?

- OH, I SEE.

YOU WANTED ME TO TELL YOU

BEFORE THE MONTH WAS UP.

- [sighs]

YOU'RE THE LIMIT, LENORE.

- OH, AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE

AN APPOINTMENT IN HALF AN HOUR.

BETTER GET HOME TO WASH OFF

THE STENCH OF HUMILIATION.

- [sighs]

DAMES--JUST WHEN YOU THINK

YOU'VE GOT 'EM FIGURED OUT,

THEY LET YOU TAKE A DUMPSTER

DIVE IN YOUR GOOD SHOES.

[melancholy trumpet music]

- DETECTIVES STEELE AND FOGLE,

CHIEF VAN OWEN NEEDS TO SEE YOU

RIGHT AWAY.

- 10-4.

- HEY, SAM, AIN'T THAT YOUR KID?

WHAT'S HE DOING DOWNTOWN?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- WHAT'S WITH THE FEDORA

AND THE TRENCH COAT, MAN?

- HELLO, SIR.

WHAT BRINGS YOU DOWNTOWN?

- I WORK HERE.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

- WHOA, SAM.

YOU ARE SMELLING RIPE.

WHAT, YOU BEEN GOING TO SCHOOL

IN A GARBAGE TRUCK, SON?

- NO, DETECTIVE FOGLE.

IT'S SUMMER VACATION.

- MM.

- LOOK, SON, I KNOW YOU LIKE

PLAYING PRIVATE DETECTIVE...

- I'M NOT PLAYING, SIR.

- NEVERTHELESS, YOU SHOULDN'T BE

COMING ALL THE WAY DOWNTOWN.

YOUR MOTHER WOULD BE

WORRIED SICK.

- SIR, I'M ON A CASE.

- DOWNTOWN

IS OUT OF YOUR JURISDICTION.

THAT'S AN ORDER.

NOW, LET'S GET YOU HOME.

- HEY, SAM,

YOU RIDE IN THE BACK.

TAKE THAT STINK WITH YOU,

ALL RIGHT?

[enigmatic accordion music]

- WELCOME TO MICHE.

RIGHT THIS WAY.

- [French accent] AH, MERCI.

THANK YOU.

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE

THE WINE LIST?

- UH, NO, BUT COULD YOU HAVE

THE WAITER BRING ME

SOME SPARKLING WATER,

NO ICE?

- OF COURSE.

UM, IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING,

YOU'RE NOT FROM AROUND HERE,

ARE YOU?

- NO, NO, I AM FROM LYON.

IT IS FRANCE.

- WHAT BRINGS YOU TO DES MOINES?

- A SMALL COMMUTER PLANE

FROM CHICAGO.

NO, I TEASE.

I'M ON A SIGHTSEEING TOUR

OF YOUR COUNTRY,

AND DES MOINES, IT'S AN AMERICAN

CITY WITH FRENCH HISTORY.

- I KNOW, WE STUDIED THA IN HIGH SCHOOL.

DES MOINES IS ACTUALLY FRENCH

FOR THE--

- UH!

LITERALLY THE TRANSLATION MEANS

"OF THE MONKS."

ORIGINALLY IT WAS

RIVIERE DES MOINES.

- OF COURSE.

I'LL GET YOUR WAITER.

- AH, IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS

SINCE THE LAST ROBBERY.

MAYBE WE'VE GOTTEN RID OF

THE CAT FOR GOOD IN DES MOINES.

- I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.

THE MUSEUM WON'T BE THE SAME

WITHOUT ITS REMBRANDT.

AND I'M STILL UPSET ABOUT THA FIRST ROBBERY.

A DIAMOND NECKLACE STOLEN

RIGHT OUT OF VANMEETER ESTATE?

NO ONE IS SAFE.

- SPARKLING WATER, SIR.

- I HAVE ASKED FOR NO ICE.

IS THIS TOO DIFFICUL TO UNDERSTAND, HUH?

- NO ICE.

YES, SIR.

- DON'T FORGET:

STAY IN YOUR JURISDICTION.

- AND TAKE A BATH.

- I HESITATED TO TELL MY FATHER

THAT PRIVATE DETECTIVES

DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM

WITH JURISDICTION.

HE WORKS FOR THE MAN,

SO HE WOULDN'T KNOW THAT.

- VANGUARD MUSEUM.

- AH, HERE WE GO AGAIN.

[tires squeal]

- I ALSO FAILED TO MENTION

THAT DETECTIVE FOGLE

DIDN'T SMELL LIKE A DOZEN ROSES

EITHER.

- SAMUEL VERNON STEELE JR.,

OUT OF THOSE FILTHY CLOTHES

AND INTO A HOT BATH NOW.

- MOM, PLEASE,

I'M WITH A CLIENT RIGHT NOW.

CAN'T I DO THAT FIRST?

- OH, YOU SMELL LIKE A GOAT.

AND YOUR SHOES ARE RUINED.

- MOM, PLEASE.

I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY CLIENTS

RIGHT NOW.

- WELL, IF POOR LENORE

CAN STAND IT, GO AHEAD.

BUT AS SOON AS YOU'RE FINISHED

PLAYING DETECTIVE,

IT'S BATH TIME.

AND LEAVE THOSE FILTHY CLOTHES

OUTSIDE.

- THAT POOR DELUDED WOMAN.

SHE'S CONVINCED HERSELF

THAT MY JOB IS A GAME.

I GUESS SHE DOES IT TO AVOID

THINKING ABOUT THE DANGER.

- AND THEN HE FELL

OUT OF THE DUMPSTER,

RIGHT ONTO THE...

RIGHT ON TIME, SAM.

YOUR 3:
00'S WAITING FOR YOU.

THAT IS IF YOUR MOMMY WILL LE YOU SEE HIM BEFORE BATH TIME.

- THANK YOU, LENORE.

- WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

- [sighs]

IT'S A LITTLE AROMA

I LIKE TO CALL JUSTICE.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, MELVIN?

- SOMEBODY STOLE MY BIKE.

- I CHARGE A QUARTER A DAY

PLUS EXPENSES.

- EXPENSES?

- WELL, STAKEOUTS CAN RUN LATE,

AND COFFEE ISN'T FREE, MELVIN.

- MY AUNT ETTA GAVE ME A KENNEDY

HALF-DOLLAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

IT'S ALL I GOT.

BESIDES, YOUR MOM WON'T LET YOU

DRINK COFFEE.

- YOU GOT A DESCRIPTION

OF THIS BIKE?

- WELL, IT HAS TRAINING WHEELS.

- YOU GOT AN INNER EAR

INFECTION?

- AND IT'S BLUE

AND IT HAS WHITE STREAMERS

ON THE HANDLEBAR GRIPS.

- YOU SURE IT DOESN'T BELONG

TO YOUR SISTER?

- HEY.

- [laughs]

JUST KIDDING, JUNIOR.

WHY DON'T WE CHECK OU THE SCENE OF THE CRIME?

LENORE, PUT CODY'S LEASH ON.

WE'VE GOT A CASE.

- WHAT?

- CODY.

ON A LEASH.

LEAD THE WAY, MELVIN.

[mysterious orchestral music]

[walkie-talkie beeps]

- ABOUT TIME YOU FELLOWS

GOT HERE.

- SORRY, CHIEF.

WE WERE ACROSS TOWN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- IT WAS EITHER COME HERE

OR SIT IN MY OFFICE

AND GET YELLED AT BY THE MAYOR.

- HE'S TOYING WITH US.

- PRICELESS MING VASE

LIFTED RIGHT UNDER THE NOSES

OF THE MUSEUM SECURITY.

THIS IS THE FOURTH ROBBERY

IN THREE MONTHS:

AND WE'RE NO CLOSER TO CATCHING

THE CAT.

AND WHEN I SEE "WE,"

I MEAN YOU.

SAM, I DON'T EXPECT A LOT FROM

THE REST OF THE DETECTIVES...

- HEY, I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE.

- SAM, YOU'VE SOLVED SOME

OF THE BIGGEST CASES

EVER TO HIT CHICAGO.

I EXPECT MORE OUT OF YOU.

- WE'LL CATCH THIS GUY, CHIEF.

YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.

- I HOPE SO, DETECTIVE.

BECAUSE IF THE CAT IS FREE

TO DO THIS AGAIN,

THE MAYOR'S GOING TO WAN TO START A TASK FORCE,

AND YOU TWO WON'T BE INVITED

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes