Samurai Cop Page #2

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to fight that Japanese Katana gang.

You know what the results are?

A man in our custody lost his head,

an officer lost his hand,

and there are three police officers

in the hospital right now.

God damn you guys.

All you've done is cause me

bloodshed and mayhem.

And me, misery in my future.

This man has been here one week and I almost lost my job.

If he's here one more week, I might well end up in jail

and die of a heart attack and I don't like that.

- SHey, I've been here one week.

- And just how long will it take you

to bring him to their knees?

One week? One month?

Next year?

At what cost and how many lives?

With all due respect sir, now I can get these guys.

All I'm asking for is more time.

But I don't have the time and I don't have the patience.

And I don't have much more credit in this department

to have bodies lying around me.

Fine. You don't want me here anymore?

All you got to do is ship me back to my place in San Diego.

You bet your ass I will.

You're on your way to San Diego and I'll write the order.

Hey, Joe.

Wait, just wait.

Look, captain, you know it, and they know it themselves.

And what they want is results.

That's what we're going to give them.

We're going to give them the results.

Now, why don't we give Samurai here a second chance

because I need him, we need him, so why don't we just help him

and support him, all right?

Well, what do you say huh, cap?

I feel like somebody stuck a big club up my ass and it hurts.

I've got to figure out a way to get it out of there.

God damn it, get the hell out of my office.

Get out of here!

I don't want to see your face.

Muah!

You son of a b*tch.

Come back here you motherf***er!

- What happened? You out or in?

- Baby, I'm always in.

Okay, Mr. Joe Samurai, now that you're in,

I've got some interesting news for you.

What is it?

Well, it seems there's this restaurant,

Blue Lagoon on Third Street near Downtown.

Well, Mr. Fujiyama, the head of the Katana gang,

this is where he's been hanging out.

- What does Katana mean?

- It means Japanese sword.

Also, there are two other Japanese gangs,

the Shinjuku and Ginza gangs.

They're both rivals to the Katana.

All right, both of those gangs are willing

to cooperate with us.

They're a small gang, mostly in gambling.

They're afraid of Katana.

That's why they're willing to help us.

All right, in time,

we'll use their service but not now.

Right now, I say you and I go pay a visit

to this Blue Lagoon Restaurant.

- You want to go?

- I can't, but I'll be home later on.

I may stop by, so keep it warm.

Come on, Frank, let's go.

Jennifer, I have a small present for you.

Thank you Mr. Fujiyama but I don't know

if I should accept that.

Please, take it.

Thank you. It's beautiful.

Hello, Mr. Fujiyama.

Hi, everybody.

- Hey, Tony. You're late.

- Oh, sorry.

- Please have a seat.

- Thanks.

- Are you Fuj... Fujiyama?

- Yes, I am. Who are you?

I'm a cop.

In that case, you'll talk to me.

I am Mr. Fujiyama's attorney.

What do you want?

So you're the infamous boss of this sh*t Katana gang, huh?

Sit down.

Look. Officer, you have no right insulting my client.

- You have nothing on him.

- And yes we have.

We have many things on him.

And this client of yours is going to need more than a lawyer

to clean up his sh*t.

Officers,

if you have anything against me, then book me.

Otherwise, as they say, "Get the hell out of my face."

This is America, land of freedom and law.

A man is innocent until he's proven guilty.

You have nothing on me.

Well, I got a lot of sh*t on you.

I'll sue you and the department

for this insult to my client.

I'll file a case first thing in the morning.

Hey counselor,

you still have three or four hours before the courthouse closes.

Now, I'm telling these son of a b*tches,

that we respect the Japanese of this country

who are honest businessmen.

And yeah, this is the land of opportunity

for legitimate business, not for death merchants

who distribute drugs to our children

through schools and on the streets.

Now, I'm telling these motherfuckers

that if they continue killing our children

to make their precious millions that they deposit

in their secret Swiss bank accounts...

Counselor,

before your lawsuit even gets off the court clerk's desk,

I'll have their stinking bodies in garbage bags

and ship them back to Japan for fertilizer,

got it?

And you, too.

Excuse me, miss.

By the way, what's an all-American girl like you

doing with a geek like this?

See you around.

Hey, counselor, we'll see you in court.

- Who's that blond girl?

- Oh, her name is Jennifer.

She's the boss.

- The boss? You mean she owns this place?

- Her mother owns the place.

- Where is her father?

- Bang.

- Killed? Who shot him?

- He.

- Who?

- Him.

- Who's him?

- Himself.

- Oh, he committed suicide?

- Yes.

Listen, when you see Jennifer alone,

tell her I think she is very lovely.

I'll do that.

- Tell her I'll try to see her soon.

- Good. I'll help you.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

I like cops.

My cousin's a cop.

- Oh, really? Where?

- In Costa Rica.

Oh, good.

- What's your name?

- Alfonso Rafael Federico Sebastin.

- This is my first name.

- Uh, what's your last name?

- Oh.

- Oh, that's all right. We just need your first name.

Thanks a lot. Bye.

Bye, bye.

I'll tell my cousin I know you.

Why didn't you let me hear his last name?

Oh, come on, man.

His last name would have made a book.

Hey, check it out.

You're under arrest!

Idiots.

Get my men dead or alive.

Move!

So what are you going to do,

fight this guy barehanded?

Freeze, you motherfuckers, leave him alone!

Uncuff him. I mean it, uncuff him!

Damn.

Frank, look out!

Come on, get out of here!

- Son of a b*tch. He killed his own men.

- I know. It's called code of silence.

- He doesn't want anybody talking.

- God. And look what they've done to my car.

- Captain Rome is going to burn my ass.

- Yeah, he's going to burn it charcoal black.

- It is black.

- Right on.

Get the hell out of here.

Captain, what do you want me to do about the case?

- What case?

- The Los Feliz case.

You're the officer in charge of the case, go do it.

Bring me an arrest.

All right, captain.

- Mr. Fujiyama is very upset.

- Yes, counselor. I mean, he has every right to be,

- but frankly, I don't give a damn.

- But Captain Roma, let me warn you.

F*** you and your client.

And you get your ass out of my office

or you'll have to go to surgery

to get my foot out of it.

Get out of here, you a**hole!

Leave me alone.

I got more important things than a sheister like you.

Get out of here!

- I'll see you in court.

- You motherf***er, I'll see you in hell.

Leave me alone.

Get a job!

Mr. Okamura, the police officer is here.

Come on in.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I was in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd stop by to see you.

- Police questions?

- No, no, just friendly conversation.

You know, rumor has it that, you own the restaurant.

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