San Antonio Page #2

BOZIE:
No, no, no, go leave, please.

She don't see somebody now.

Nobody is talking to her

without they don't see her first.

Now, wait a minute,

my fat-headed friend.

[BOZIE WHIMPERING]

Don't you ever take off your hat?

Of course not.

He needs it to shade his eyes.

[MEN LAUGHING]

Go keep an eye on Charlie Bell.

Real desperate character you got there

riding with the driver.

That's my desperate manager.

See, I'm looking for a gentleman.

We haven't seen one in a year.

I'm sorry, ladies.

This is for your own protection.

Clay Hardin's on the loose,

and he's a dangerous outlaw.

He's liable

to smuggle himself through here.

Do you want to look under the pillows?

- Here.

- Hold on, will you?

BOZIE:
No, no, no, inside is not.

You must be stay out.

What's that? You are stealing, I hope.

[MEN LAUGH]

You right away steal those back.

Such thing begins, I don't know.

Please, make more careless.

If I break that, you sue me.

Ah, shut up!

[MUTTERING]

Oh, sit down.

[ROSAS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

Come here.

Well, what do you want?

Charlie Bell bought a seat on the

San Antonio stage for Clay Hardin.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, I saw him do it myself.

Don't worry. I'll take care of that.

You'd better do something.

This stage never runs

without a shotgun guard, you know that.

Clay's name is down

and the company's gotta take him.

I don't gotta ride shotgun.

There's enough graveyard bait

in the strongbox without Clay.

And I've got kids to support.

I didn't think them things

was jackrabbits.

Maybe you wanna holler for the Army.

- The company reserves the right...

- I'll ride shotgun myself.

There's my bond.

San Antonio stage, get aboard.

It will roll without me.

I'm too young and good-looking

for a one-way trip.

I can't do nothing. I just work here.

Even money, gents. Even money

against Clay Hardin, and lucky to get it.

I don't see him.

What's the matter, is he afraid to show?

Maybe he invisible-ized himself.

Clay ain't here. He's changed his mind.

That's what he wants us to think.

He's circled the town already.

The stage will pick him up.

We might outrun the stage

and wait at Cotulla.

Get into that coach.

You can get Clay easy

when he comes out of the brush.

I'll tail the stage,

and as you fire, I'll get Charlie Bell.

- What about my saddle?

- Move, or you won't need it anymore.

Here she rips.

Anybody change their mind?

I'm going along.

I'll settle my ticket later.

Right.

- Go ahead, Charlie.

- Hyah, hyah, hyah!

[DRIVER SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

DRIVER:

Whoa!

Yippee! Yippee!

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

[SPEAKING IN MOCK SPANISH]

[WOMEN GASP]

[SIGHS]

Well, hello.

Move over, honey.

Now, now, after all, Don Quickshot,

the show doesn't start till after supper.

Oh, we're gonna have supper too?

Would you like to land on your head

or get out peaceably?

Sorry, but I've planned on this

ever since you left Monterey.

I don't like the society

in those public coaches, do you?

If I scream, a man

will come down here with a shotgun.

And I'm going to scream.

- Now, wait, Henrietta.

- Let her go ahead.

I'll help you.

[HIGH-PITCHED YELP]

BOZIE:

Look, look, look!

There goes an empty horse.

This is really for your own protection.

I'm sorry. We've heard that one.

No, on the level.

- There's a desperate character loose.

- And his name is Clay Hardin.

This is monotonous.

Why doesn't one of you Texans

bring out a new lie?

One that will astound people.

Honestly now, wouldn't you like

to be protected?

Just a little, on one side, huh?

Is it a Western custom

to push yourself in on other people?

Yes, ma'am.

That's how the West was settled.

We're not Indians.

Go on, get out of here, scat.

You know, I saw a poster of you

down Mexico way...

...and it didn't half do you justice.

Thank you.

Maybe I do need you to protect me

from this Clay Hardin person.

Well, on second thought,

I don't know if I can.

- But I can protect you, ma'am.

- Oh, don't mind me.

I've stood almost everything in the show

business, I guess I could stand that.

Then you must be

one of those rich cattlemen.

- Are you married?

- Me? Uh-uh.

No. And I haven't got any cattle left.

You see? You was very rude.

He wouldn't marry you anyway.

I wasn't asking for myself.

Well, don't ask him for me either.

You see, out here, we've got a class

of men who sort of work in the dark.

Those night raiders got away

with just about every cow I own.

I suppose it never occurred to you

to put your cows inside at night.

No... Inside?

What on earth is this? Cast iron?

No. Bear jerky.

- Oh.

- That's good.

Do you know what's happening

at Delmonico's this minute?

Monico's? Who's he?

He is a famous New York restaurant.

Some actress,

not a bit more talented than I am...

...is sitting at a lovely table

having lobster and crpe suzettes...

...and champagne.

Sounds like she's a cinch

for the hiccups.

And then every head will turn and

watch her as she goes sweeping out.

Oh, she's got the job

sweeping out, huh?

- Of course not. She's an actress.

- Oh.

Or, uh, do you know

what an actress is?

Oh, sure.

Sure, she's a girl Roy Stuart hires

to sing and cut up in his saloon, huh?

Saloon?

Is the Bella Union a saloon?

Well, you wouldn't exactly

call it a saloon.

It's more of a drinking joint.

[COUGHS]

But I have a contract with Roy Stuart.

Why, he's the partner of a man

I worked for in New Orleans, Mr. Legare.

I could never understand

why he lets the pigs in there.

They keep running in and out, getting

into fights with the dogs. Tsk, tsk.

JEANNE:

I won't play there.

I won't even go in the town.

Bozie, you make me so mad, I could cry.

Oh, don't you worry.

Bella Union isn't really that bad.

Mm, ha?

Don't you worry about a thing.

As soon as we start changing horses

at Cotulla, I'm gonna take you dancing.

You have a much better chance

of dancing with the horses.

Ha, ha. You don't mean that.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]

MAN [SINGING]:
Put your little foot

Put your little foot

Put your little foot right out

Put your little foot

Put your little foot

Put your little foot right out

Put your arm around

Put your arm around

Put your arm around my waist

Keep your arm around

Keep your arm around

Keep your arm around my waist

Take a step to the side

Take a step to the rear

Take a step to the side

But forever stay near

Do a little whirl

Do a little whirl

Do a little whirl about

Do a little twirl

Do a little twirl

Do a little twirl about

Walk a little bit

Walk a little bit

Put your little foot right out

Sing a little bit

Sing a little bit

Put your little foot right out

Why, you do this like you were

born to it. Took me years to pick up.

This must be the only thing

that took you that long.

Well, we don't see pretty girls like you

down here very often.

Ha, ha.

I guess that's why

we have to pay for it, huh?

The regular stagecoach

stops here overnight.

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