Sand Castle Page #2

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We're fine.

-All right, ocre, you're with me.

-Yeah.

You, follow me.

[Soldier groaning]

[Bullet whirring]

[Chutsky] Whoo! Ah.

[Chuckles] Call it in.

[Breathing heavily]

Noble lion, this is eagle one.

Do you copy?

[Officer on radio] Go ahead, eagle one.

Sniper fire is not coming from the mosque.

I repeat, not the mosque.

It is confirmed from the hotel.

It is, uh, 260 degrees and...

What is it, about 100 meters

from the mosque?

Hundred and fifty.

And 150 meters from the mosque. Over.

Do you have a floor number,

eagle one? Over.

Wait, one...

Yo, they want a f***ing floor number.

Floor number?

Do they want a room number, too?

Is this motherf***er

ordering room service?

[Matt breathing heavily]

Get the f*** up top.

Get 'em a f***in' floor number.

[Grunting] God damn.

-And watch your head.

-Yeah.

[Gunfire]

[Chutsky] Sh*t. Whoo!

[Laughs]

Yeah. Third floor, southeast corner.

-You say third floor, southeast corner?

-Yeah.

F***.

[Bullets whirring]

F*** that!

Noble lion, this is eagle two.

[Panting]

Sniper fire is too heavy.

I'm suggesting an air strike. Over.

-What the hell are you doing?

-What a clusterfuck of a...

Chutsky?

-[Sighs] It's just such a clusterfuck.

-Hey. No, no, no, chutsky.

This whole thing

is such a f***ing clusterfuck.

No. No, no, no. Sergeant...

Hey, sergeant, we're too close.

We're not too close.

We're right where we need to be.

Sergeant, how long do we have?

Can I move? Do we have time to move?

No, we don't have time to f***in' move.

We called in an air strike. Stay put.

[Straining] Okay. Hang on.

[Chutsky mutters] I mean,

we're sitting here all day.

It's hot as sh*t.

My balls are sweating.

F***in' salt stains

under my arm and sh*t.

-[Helicopter approaching]

-Oh, yeah.

Keep your head down.

We've got f***in' backup.

-[Helicopter blades whirring]

-[Grunts]

[Chutsky] Boom!

[Indistinct]

You lose, motherf***er!

Oh, f***. That's why I'm in Baghdad.

That's why I'm in f***ing Baghdad!

-Ocre! You deaf?

-What?

Ocre! You about to puke?

[Softly] I'm good.

Whoo! We f***in' did it, sir.

[Chutsky] That was the most American sh*t

I've ever seen.

Yeah, come on out, chutsky. Walk out now.

We're coming from the north.

[Enzo chuckles]

Ready them titties, Kansas City.

Corporal Enzo, hero, will be home soon.

Okay, right here.

Right here. Right here.

[Enzo] Oh, I'm a bad man.

-Let's go. Dismount.

-Yo, i'mma get all kinds of titties.

Big titties, little titties,

f***in' medium titties.

Oh, sh*t. I'll be straight up, man.

Back home I was f***ing threes, fours.

After a story like this,

I'm definitely f***ing fives, sixes,

maybe even a seven

if I catch me a drunk patriot.

[Grunting and exclaiming]

-What's the sitrep, sergeant?

-[Enzo grunts]

Uh, we've got a wia on the roof.

Uh, Charlie team three's

medevaccing him right now.

Ocre and I blew up a building.

[Chuckles] Yeah, you did.

All right, good job.

Good job, private ocre.

Yeah, he can't hear you.

-Ocre!

-[Matt] Huh?

Come here.

How you feel?

Underpaid.

All right. I'll be sure to pass

your complaint on to management.

Come on.

Hey, don't let these little mini-jihadists

get too close.

F***in' little bombs

strapped all over 'em and sh*t.

[Children clamoring]

[Officer on radio]

All elements, this is Sierra two-eight.

Primary mission, collect

all primary intelligence requirements.

Bag it and tag it.

Area has been cleared.

But keep your head on a swivel, boys.

And welcome to your new home.

Is this a photo op or what?

Take a picture.

Wait, wait, wait.

I gots to do this one.

Yeah, boy!

-Hey! Hey!

-Bad motherf***er.

Hey, knock that sh*t off.

Come on.

-Let's go, corporal.

-Sorry, sergeant.

[Burton] Get the f*** outta here, bro!

[Enzo] Does anybody f***in' knock anymore?

I'm trying to have a moment, motherf***er!

[Chutsky] Hey!

Hey, I found Saddam's porn stash.

-[Burton] What? Hold up.

-[Chutsky] There's... oh, my god.

I'm taking off my pants now!

[Anthony] Oh, yeah, cannonball run,

the longest yard, navajo Joe, hooper.

[Chuckles] This isn't porn.

These are Burt Reynolds movies.

[Chutsky] Huh, guess that explains

Saddam's 'stache.

[Matt sighs]

[Sniffles]

[Sighs]

[Matt lauer] Are you worried that

if we don't find significant evidence

in the coming weeks and months,

that our credibility and the integrity

of this country is in jeopardy?

Uh, I, of course...

Did my guys roll out yet?

They're running behind.

Having trouble with the load.

[Stuttering] Uh, can I get one of those?

Thank you.

Is that, uh, good? Good.

Shukraan.

[Burton] All right, motherfuckers,

it's ready. Let's get it moved.

[Enzo] Hey... shut up, motherf***er.

Burton! Do you remember Steph bertolini?

With all the ass?

Oh, the, uh... that chick with polio?

She did not have f***in' polio!

How many times we gotta go over this sh*t?

It was, like, a leg thing or, like,

she had, like, a baby foot or something...

Oh, my god, it...

It couldn't have been polio,

-'cause they cured that in f***in' 1957.

-[Chutsky] And why do you know that?

Because, a**hole, I looked it up.

Yeah, you looked it up 'cause

you thought your girl had polio, so...

-Well, f*** you very much.

-Here. Here. Here.

You know what? I'm hitting

every pothole and every f***in'...

Let's take a picture with this guy.

-[john mccain] In 1991...

-[Harper] Give me the comm.

-...he had weapons of mass destruction.

-All right, Jim?

Uh, eagle four, this is eagle six.

Whatever the delay,

pick up the f***in' pace. Over.

-[Soldiers laughing on radio]

-[Enzo] Eagle six, this is eagle four.

Why do you hate me

when I love you so much? Over.

Now, corporal. Out.

-You guys all right?

-[Enzo laughing]

-All right, ready?

-Come on, take it. Come on.

-One, two, three. America!

-[All] America!

-Oh, that's solid.

-[Chutsky] Do I look good?

-Yeah! Look at this...

-All right, load him up.

[Burton] Let's get him in.

One, two, three.

-[Matt] Hold this.

-All right.

[Enzo] Y'all f***in' around

with my taste in women and sh*t.

-All right, hop in, hopscotch.

-No, I'm not going in the back.

Get the f*** in the car.

I'm the biggest.

That doesn't make sense.

Sergeant, private.

Get in the f***ing back.

[Enzo] Oh, he pulled rank on your ass!

-[Chutsky] You're gonna love it.

-[Enzo] You got no jokes now, huh, boy?

[Chutsky] All right. You can touch him.

-Just keep below the waist.

-Yeah, great.

-[Enzo] He's gonna touch his hajji peepee.

-[Sighs]

[Chutsky] Oh, Enzo, yo,

came up with a nickname.

[Enzo] You can't come up

with your own nickname, man.

That sh*t's gay. Nobody's gonna

f***in' call you by it but you.

[Chutsky] Boss murderer.

-[Enzo] Okay, so that's badass.

-[Chutsky] Yeah?

-That is badass.

-That's why I said it.

[Enzo] I'mma give you that one.

Sh*t. Hey! Hey, guys!

Guys, he just moved!

Hey! Hey! Hey, he's not dead!

[Enzo] What the f*** is going down?

-Hold up!

-Open up! He moved! He's not dead!

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