Saturday Night and Sunday Morning Page #2

I would, too!

Look at him. Can't take his eyes

of that young girl over there.

Not me, I'm courting already.

I was looking at the calendar.

I believe you.

- Are you coming, Mum?

- All right, I'm coming.

I'll be going now. You coming, Bert,

or shall you stay with Arthur?

If I don't get home,

they'll fetch me for fear that she'd starve.

I'm hungry myself.

How about some fishing this afternoon?

Okay, we'll get the bikes out.

I'll meet you at Trowel Bridges.

Remember me to your mum.

Bit quiet today?

Isn't it? Should've seen it a couple

of weeks back. Nearly lost our license.

Didn't you hear about it? Big fight.

Took us a couple of days to clean up

after that little lot.

- Yes, what can I get for you?

- Two packets of crisps.

Are you sure you can afford it?

What are you drinking?

Sharp, ain't he?

Is it somebody's birthday?

Mum's anniversary, if you want to know.

- I can't see your dad.

- That's because he's not there.

- Is he coming?

- I shouldn't think so.

He left her 15 years ago today,

and she's just having a drink on it.

I'm glad someone thinks it's funny.

Have a drink, while you're here.

- All right, I'll have a small shandy.

- Small shandy, please.

What's that you're drinking?

It looks like treacle.

- Beer and stout. Try a drop.

- No. I tasted it once, it was horrible.

I'm not a boozer, either, but I'm going

fishing, and I like a drop beforehand.

Just a minute, I'll take these to mum.

- You've been taking your time.

- I've been waiting to get your crisps.

Another beer and stout.

I won't be long.

I'm just talking to this bloke I know.

- Is your mum a bit deaf, then?

- Yes, she is, a bit.

No, thanks, I don't smoke.

- What's your name?

- Doreen.

- Rotten name, ain't it?

- What's wrong with it?

Mine's Arthur. Neither of them is

up to much but it's not our fault, is it?

- Where do you work, then, Doreen?

- Me?

Iris's, the hairnet factory.

I've been there ever since I left school.

All right, I will have a fag.

I'm in the engineering trade myself.

Drink up. Have another shandy.

It's your mother's anniversary.

No, thanks.

What do you do in the week, Doreen?

Do you ever go to pictures?

Only on Wednesdays. Why?

That's funny, I go on Wednesdays.

- Which one do you go to?

- The Granby, as a rule.

I'll see you next Wednesday, then, at 7:00.

Fast worker, aren't you?

All right, but not in back row.

I can't see unless I sit in back row.

If I get any nearer to the front,

the picture gets all blurred.

You want glasses, by the sound of it.

I'll get some, but they make me look like

a cock-eyed rent collector.

I expect they do.

- I'll see you on Wednesday, then.

- All right.

Don't be late.

I won't be, but if I am,

you'll just have to wait, won't you?

I noticed that girl meself this morning.

Smashing bit of stuff.

Shouldn't think she'd want aught to do

with a madhead like you.

They all want a good time.

That's what you all think.

This one looks different.

First kiss and she'll expect

an engagement ring.

I took a tip from the fishes.

Never bite unless the bait's good.

I won't get married till I'm good and ready.

- Got to get married sometime, right?

- Why don't you try, then?

Ain't found anyone who'd have me yet.

It costs too much to get married.

A lump sum down

and your wages a week for life.

- Most blokes got nothing else to work for.

- I have.

I work for the factory,

the income tax, and the insurance already.

That's enough for a bit.

They rob you right, left, and center.

After they've skinned you dry,

you get called up in the army and get shot.

That's how things are.

It's no good going crackers over it.

All you can do is work and hope

one day something good will turn up.

Maybe. But you've got to be as cunning

as them bastards.

Take a few tips from the fishes.

They all get caught in the end.

Can't keep their chops off the bait.

Wasn't a bad-looking girl, was she?

Sharp and all.

Still going round with this married piece,

ain't you?

It'll be a good job when you're married.

Her poor husband will be able

to get a bit of rest, then.

Serves him right for being so slow.

If he made her like being in bed with him,

she won't go out with me.

You'll get your face bashed in

one of these days.

Don't worry, I can look after meself.

Just you be careful,

and use a bit more sense.

I'll watch it.

I don't know...

Work tomorrow.

Aye, me and all.

There's Old Ma Bull with her halfpenny.

She's naught else to do, the nosey parker.

Spreading tales about me going with

married women and boozing.

It's all bloody lies.

Make sure it is...

Any room for a rabbit's arse, Jack?

You've clicked, by the look of it.

I'll tell Brenda if you're not careful.

She wouldn't believe you.

She can trust me.

Can she, though?

That stuff will give you

galloping dog rot, it's poison.

A bloke in frame shop got laid up

for six weeks from drinking the firm's tea.

Stomach trouble.

You should bring your own flask.

If it's good enough for others, for me also.

Don't bet on that. Think of No. 1.

Share and share alike's no good.

You wouldn't think like that

if you won the pools.

Wouldn't I? I'd see the family right

but nobody else.

If I got begging letters like most blokes,

know what I'd do?

- What?

- Make a bonfire.

Have you had aught to do with

putting a rat on her bench?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- I bet it was you, you young rogue.

Me, Mr. Robboe? I've got so much work,

I can't move from my lathe.

I don't go around tormenting women.

You know that.

I don't know. Somebody did it,

and I reckon it's you.

You're a bit of a Red if you ask me,

that's what you are.

That's slander.

I'll see my lawyers about that.

I've got a witness.

I don't know,

but I'll get the bloke that did it.

What a life, I get blamed for everything.

He came up to me earlier on.

Said I was to go on nights in frame shop.

What?

In frame shop, on nights.

I wouldn't fancy that.

I don't mind. It'll be a change.

That's not the first time

that bastard's called me a Red.

Not that I wouldn't vote Communist

if I thought it'd get rid of blokes like him.

I did vote for them last election.

Did I tell you?

I shouldn't have voted

'cause I was under 21...

...but I used my dad's vote

'cause he was in bedridden.

I said my name

was Harold Spencer Seaton.

I didn't believe it till I was outside.

You could've got ten years

if they caught you.

- You were lucky.

- I told you I was.

That's what all these loony laws are for,

to be broken by blokes like us.

You might cop it one of these days.

Perhaps you won't be so cocky,

once you settle down.

- I shan't be doing that for a while.

- There's naught wrong with married life.

I'm married.

Went into it with my eyes open.

Married life's all right if you're good

to each other and not too bossy.

I believe you, then.

Thousands wouldn't.

You off out again?

I'm up to Minnie's for a bit.

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