Saved by the Bell Page #2

- Both:
Hey, deal!

- We better get rid of this thing.

- I told you he was a great guy.

- He's okay.

- See you, Johnny.

- Oh man.

Okay, where's the roach?

Herbert wants to meet his bride to be.

Sorry, Screech, we flushed her.

- Sorry.

- You murderers!

You've committed insecticide!

Guys, I'd like to hear

what you think about drugs.

- Screech, you go first.

- I hate drugs.

But my doctor says

I got to keep taking them

if I want to get rid

of my post-nasal drip.

Screech, he's talking about illegal drugs,

like pot, cocaine...

That kind of thing

happens a lot.

This is really good stuff.

I'll go find Dean so

we can put it down on tape.

Hey, yo, Dean!

Hey, Blaze, let's roll! The Leathershack

has a special on dog collars.

- I want to get one for my mother.

- Keep your chains on, Scud,

- I'm working on something here.

- Oh. Oh.

Hey, I'll be in the bathroom

giving some nerd a mohawk!

You guys, wasn't Scud leaving

the bathroom when we found that joint?

That's right.

I think we found our pothead.

All right, pally, up against the wall.

Citizen's arrest!

- You have the right to remain silent--

- Relax. He's smoking a cigarette.

You have the right

to punch my face in.

However, any bones you break will be used

against you in a court of law.

(growls)

Chill out, Scud.

We thought you were smoking pot.

- I'm not that stupid!

- Oh yeah?

This can kill you too, genius.

Tell us about the pot

we found in here yesterday.

I don't know anything

about any pot!

I don't know why,

but I believe him.

Look, Scud, we're sorry.

I guess we just got misguided

by your thug-like exterior.

It happens.

I can't believe I'm sharing

french fries with Johnny Dakota.

- Hey, we could've had a hamburger.

- You know what I mean.

One week ago, I had

this huge crush on a movie star--

- You had a crush on me?

- No, Tom Cruise.

Gotcha!

Lisa, why do I have to come along

if you want to meet Johnny?

Because with you by my side,

it will be easier for me to talk to him.

- Hello.

- Hi.

Johnny, Lisa would like to ask you

a few questions for her gossip column.

- Sure. Shoot, Lisa.

- Thanks.

So, Johnny, what are--

(stammers)

Okay.

What I mean is, how do you--

(laughs)

Jessie, ask the questions

for me, please.

Pretty please, do it, Jessie.

Thank you.

Lisa would rather

I ask the questions instead.

(softly)

I can't ask these.

- Do it.

- Okay.

"Do you sleep in pajamas?"

"Do you kiss on a first date?"

"Will you marry me?"

No, yes, and maybe.

- (gasps)

- That is, if Kelly turns me down.

Johnny, stop. Lisa, don't write that.

That's personal.

Hey, Johnny, I need a favor.

Mr. Belding is driving me crazy to get an

autographed picture for his wife.

Not a problem.

- What should I write?

- I got it right here.

Okay.

"Dear Mrs. B,

You're lucky to be married

to such a buff-looking hunk."

- Is he for real?

- I'm afraid so.

- Thanks, Johnny.

- No problem.

I want to invite you to a party

at my house tonight.

In fact, everyone's invited.

- Hey!

- All right!

Wow! My first Hollywood party.

I wonder if the Simpsons will be there.

(pop music playing)

I have never seen so many

great-looking girls

in one room

in my whole entire life!

Get used to it.

You're going to be here a lot more.

Johnny, your place is beautiful.

Especially with you here.

Johnny,

we've been in town a week.

- You haven't come by.

- We've missed you, baby.

I've been a little busy.

This is Kelly.

Martha, Ingrid.

Let me introduce you

to my newest co-star

- Zack Morris.

- Co-star!

Hey, Johnny, can't wait

to start shooting tomorrow.

Tsk!

Hey, Preppie, why don't you

introduce me to

your two friends? Wink, wink.

- Sure. Girls, this is AC Slater...

- Ladies.

...my driver.

Shouldn't he

be waiting in the car?

Oh yes.

Jessie, guess

who I just danced with!

- Who?

- Storm Sutherland!

Storm Sutherland?!

I just danced with Luke Diamond.

Luke Diamond?!

Can you believe this?

Both:
No!

- Aren't you glad we came?

- Both:
Yes!

Hey, Screech, why are you

dressed like that?

Johnny gave me some clothes

to wear while mine dry.

I had a little accident

with the avocado dip.

I can tell. There's still

guacamole in your ear.

- Hey there.

- Hi.

Did anybody ever tell you

you look like Johnny?

A lot of people

make that mistake.

Actually, I'm his stunt double.

- Your arms are so firm.

- That's my elbow. I work out.

(clears throat)

Let's move over here

before we catch this guy's cold.

Did you do that stunt

in "Freeway Warrior"

where you jumped

out of the exploding car?

Do it? Ha! It was my idea!

Watch, I'll show you.

Oh no, the car is on fire!

(screams)

Screech:

Slater, I need your help!

I think it's my back.

- Oh man, you're hurt.

- Better take you back home.

- Good idea.

- Kelly, you can't leave yet.

I'm sure these guys can

take care of Screech.

Oh yeah, you stay, Kelly,

I'm all partied out.

(screams)

We'll help you.

Yeah, we might as well leave.

Our hunks have already split.

Hey, Slater, I'll help you

get him to the car.

Hey, Johnny, I'll be right back.

Bye! Have a nice time!

Thanks for staying, Kelly.

Just wouldn't have been much

of a party without you here.

Hey, today is the big day. Did you brush

your teeth for those close-ups?

- Johnny, we've got to talk.

- We'll talk later. No time. We've got--

Shooting this commercial doesn't seem

right after what happened last night.

- It was a great party, wasn't it?

- Come on, you know what I mean.

Come on, give me a break.

- Come on, buddy, lighten up.

- And I thought you were real cool.

A million other kids still do,

but you know what?

- We were wrong.

- What do you want from me?

- Don't do this commercial.

- Forget it, friend.

No...

I'm not your friend.

All right, guys, let's go!

Let's make some Bayside history!

Hey, Dean, here's your star.

- So did you talk to Johnny?

- Yeah, but he wouldn't listen to me.

Okay, hold the talk. Places, people.

We've got a spot to shoot.

Come on, Zack.

You're over here beside me.

Sorry... I can't do this.

- Me neither.

- I'm with them.

You know, when I wanted

to talk to you, I couldn't.

Now that I can, I don't want to.

Ditto for me, bub.

Tonight, all my Johnny Dakota

action figures become lawn mulch.

Hey, hey, hey,

what is going on here?

Let them go.

We'll just give the lines to Kelly.

Goodbye, Johnny.

Fine!

I don't need this aggravation.

In fact,

I don't need your school!

- I'm out of here!

- Johnny, don't leave!

We just felt it was wrong

to be a part of his lie, sir.

We weren't just

thinking of ourselves.

Bayside's integrity

would have been compromised.

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