Scary or Die
I said the similarity
between a Mexican and a Cuban.
I don't know.
I thought I knew before,
but now I don't know.
Harder you hit 'em,
the more English you get out of 'em.
You get it?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I get it now.
It's gonna be
a real scorcher in Yuma.
Looking at a high
of about 110.
Okay, let's go back
to the line.
We have Lonnie from El Centro.
Hey, Lonnie,
what can I do you for?
Hey there,
you know I got them
illegals
all over my property.
Ooh!
Damn, that's smooth!
What the hell you drinkin'
that nasty sh*t for?
'Cause it's cheap.
Makes it himself
in his own damn shed.
And it's like
a gazillion proof.
And it tastes like
pb and j sandwich, see?
It stinks like sh*t.
Well, maybe you should
take a hit off it, Connie.
It'd loosen you up.
How much looser
y'all want me? Huh?
Is that loose?
Knock it off, Keith!
Besides, I don't think Buck feels much like sharin'.
Ain't that right?
That depends.
Depends on what?
Oh...
Could you pull over?
I need to use
Why? You gotta drop off
Ow.
Somethin' wrong with you.
Buck?
What's the most
you ever lost on a coin toss?
I said...
What's the most
you ever lost on a coin toss?
Friendo.
Que?
Pedro, you ruinin' my sh*t.
Just forget it.
Ring this sh*t up.
"Sabe"?
You understand that?
Hmm, Guacamole?
S.
Don't you ever go to the movies?
Eleven dollar and 50 cents...
Seor.
Por favor.
Sure got that money lingo
figured out, don't ya?
S, seor.
God damn rabbits.
Oh, get that out of my face!
I'm sorry.
God, you are startin' to reek of that sh*t!
It's comin' through your pores!
Home, home on the range
Where deer
and the antelope play
You ready to have fun?
Anything to get me out
of this sh*t can.
Well, this is it.
This is where
it all goes to sh*t...
Every single night
when the sun goes down.
Damn straight.
You know,
we gonna make a difference.
So now what, we're just gonna
hang out here until nightfall
and then scare the livin' sh*t
out of 'em as they come over?
Somethin' like that.
You ready to have some fun?
Oh, my god!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Damn, that smells!
Who in the hell
are they, Buck?!
They've been back here
this whole time?!
Get 'em the f*** out my truck.
Oh, my god.
What the f***, Keith? Shh.
Come on, grandpa. Let's go.
Oh, you smell!
Who are they?
Damn, Buck, this one's
a real El Porko!
Must've eaten him some gorditas
before we snagged him.
Now, you are gonna let them go,
right, Buck?
Please tell me
you're gonna let them go.
Yeah...
to hell.
Get that gag out his mouth.
All right. Come on.
Por favor.
Speak American, huh?
Agua, por favor.
Shut up! Shut up!
Keith--
You shut the f*** up!
Shh. Quiet.
You know why we
brung you back here, don't ya?
'Cause this is the place
where all you beaners come over.
You see? You see your clothes?
You smell your filthy garbage?
You're shitin' up my country.
Please...
I own a landscaping business.
I'm a citizen.
My kids are honor students.
I pay taxes.
Shut the f*** up! Stop it!
Stop! Keith, make him stop!
Sh*t! Get out of the way!
Get your hands off me, Buck!
This is crazy talk!
Get your hands off me!
Get off me!
Whoo! Whoo!
Oh, my god!
See, we clean the human
garbage up off the street.
where you come from.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Come on, get up, old man.
Get up, old man.
Get up, old man!
This is the end, Jose Cuervo.
Please, please don't do this.
Maybe the next time a group of you
system suckers comes through here,
They'll see the grave...
And they'll know it
ain't but a matter of time
before me or somebody like me
catches 'em,
brings 'em right back here.
Word'll spread.
They'll think twice about comin' over my border.
F***in' beaners.
F***in' beaners
can leave this country.
Or you can leave this earth.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, god.
Let's hurry up, get a position
before the sun goes down.
It's gonna be
real busy around here.
Weird how they
keep buryin' the others.
Yeah, well,
if we keep roundin' 'em up and bringin' 'em back here,
Maybe these dumbasses
will get the picture.
Where the hell Connie go?
I don't know.
Wonder if this one's
got any gold in his teeth.
Smile.
Whoo hoo!
Burial at sea!
Whoo!
Yeah.
What the hell
you doin', Connie?
You never said nothin' to me
about no killin'.
You said we were
Buck, give me
the f***in' truck keys!
Connie!
Put that gun down before you blow one of your tits off!
Buck, give me the f***in' keys!
Oh, my god!
What is that?!
Don't just stand there!
Get it off! Get it off me!
Get it off me!
Oh, my god!
I can't see!
Oh, god!
Get off me, you b*tch!
Get off me, you b*tch!
Buck!
What the hell you make of that?
Looks like another
god damn zombie.
So should we go get her?
What time is it?
Nah, shift's over.
Let's leave her for the damn animals.
What the f*** you lookin' at?
Don't.
Oh.
Can I help you?
No, I-I don't think so.
Hey!
Mind your own business,
motherf***er.
Hey, come on.
This is it.
I don't know how to repay you.
You don't have
to repay me, min-ah.
Just go to the police.
I-I could take you.
No, I can't.
This guy could come back.
They will send me back
to Pyongyang, Taejung.
Oh. I-I didn't know.
I just figured you were--
No.
I'm not.
Although it seems like
I have been here an eternity.
Okay.
Well, be careful.
I'll see you around.
Please come here, Taejung.
And I want to repay you
for everything
you have done for me.
I don't know.
I'm not much of a--
Just come, Taejung.
You won't forget it.
Promise.
You came, Taejung Shi.
At the end of the rainbow
There's happiness
But my life is a race
Just a wild goose chase
And my dreams
have all been denied
Why have I always
been a failure?
What can the reason be?
I wonder
if the world's to blame
I wonder
if it could be me
Hands on the wheel, please.
Let's see your license
and registration, please.
Yeah, certainly.
Thank you.
You were, uh, swerving
a little bit back there.
Are you having some problems
driving this evening?
Oh, no, no, I was just closing
the glove compartment,
and I thought
I saw something in the road.
No big deal.
And have you had
anything to drink tonight?
No, no, not at all.
What was that?
Why don't you pop
the trunk for me, sir.
You know, officer, I don't
think it's any big deal.
Just pop the trunk, please.
I wonder
if the world's to blame
I wonder
if it could be me
Hands on the wheel, please.
Let's see your license
and registration, please.
Yeah, certainly.
Thank you.
You were, uh, swerving
a little bit back there.
Are you having some problems
driving this evening?
Oh, no, no, I was just closing
the glove compartment,
And I thought
I saw something in the road.
No big deal.
And have you had
anything to drink tonight?
No, no, not at all.
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"Scary or Die" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/scary_or_die_17573>.
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