Scary or Die

I said the similarity

between a Mexican and a Cuban.

I don't know.

I thought I knew before,

but now I don't know.

Harder you hit 'em,

the more English you get out of 'em.

You get it?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I get it now.

It's gonna be

a real scorcher in Yuma.

Looking at a high

of about 110.

Okay, let's go back

to the line.

We have Lonnie from El Centro.

Hey, Lonnie,

what can I do you for?

Hey there,

you know I got them

illegals

all over my property.

Ooh!

Damn, that's smooth!

What the hell you drinkin'

that nasty sh*t for?

'Cause it's cheap.

Makes it himself

in his own damn shed.

And it's like

a gazillion proof.

And it tastes like

pb and j sandwich, see?

It stinks like sh*t.

Well, maybe you should

take a hit off it, Connie.

It'd loosen you up.

How much looser

y'all want me? Huh?

Is that loose?

Knock it off, Keith!

Besides, I don't think Buck feels much like sharin'.

Ain't that right?

That depends.

Depends on what?

What Sharon looks like.

Oh...

Could you pull over?

I need to use

the little ladies room.

Why? You gotta drop off

the browns at the super bowl?

Ow.

Somethin' wrong with you.

Buck?

What's the most

you ever lost on a coin toss?

I said...

What's the most

you ever lost on a coin toss?

Friendo.

Que?

Pedro, you ruinin' my sh*t.

Just forget it.

Ring this sh*t up.

"Sabe"?

You understand that?

Hmm, Guacamole?

S.

Don't you ever go to the movies?

Eleven dollar and 50 cents...

Seor.

Por favor.

Sure got that money lingo

figured out, don't ya?

S, seor.

God damn rabbits.

Oh, get that out of my face!

I'm sorry.

God, you are startin' to reek of that sh*t!

It's comin' through your pores!

Home, home on the range

Where deer

and the antelope play

You ready to have fun?

Anything to get me out

of this sh*t can.

Well, this is it.

This is where

it all goes to sh*t...

Every single night

when the sun goes down.

Damn straight.

You know,

we gonna make a difference.

So now what, we're just gonna

hang out here until nightfall

and then scare the livin' sh*t

out of 'em as they come over?

Somethin' like that.

You ready to have some fun?

Oh, my god!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Damn, that smells!

Who in the hell

are they, Buck?!

They've been back here

this whole time?!

Get 'em the f*** out my truck.

Oh, my god.

What the f***, Keith? Shh.

Come on, grandpa. Let's go.

Oh, you smell!

Who are they?

Damn, Buck, this one's

a real El Porko!

Must've eaten him some gorditas

before we snagged him.

Now, you are gonna let them go,

right, Buck?

Please tell me

you're gonna let them go.

Yeah...

to hell.

Get that gag out his mouth.

All right. Come on.

Why are their hands tied up?

Por favor.

Speak American, huh?

Agua, por favor.

Shut up! Shut up!

Keith--

You shut the f*** up!

Shh. Quiet.

You know why we

brung you back here, don't ya?

'Cause this is the place

where all you beaners come over.

You see? You see your clothes?

You smell your filthy garbage?

You're shitin' up my country.

Please...

I own a landscaping business.

I'm a citizen.

My kids are honor students.

I pay taxes.

Shut the f*** up! Stop it!

Stop! Keith, make him stop!

Sh*t! Get out of the way!

Get your hands off me, Buck!

This is crazy talk!

Get your hands off me!

Get off me!

Whoo! Whoo!

Oh, my god!

See, we clean the human

garbage up off the street.

We bring you turds back here

where you come from.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

Come on, get up, old man.

Get up, old man.

Get up, old man!

This is the end, Jose Cuervo.

Please, please don't do this.

Maybe the next time a group of you

system suckers comes through here,

They'll see the grave...

And they'll know it

ain't but a matter of time

before me or somebody like me

catches 'em,

brings 'em right back here.

Word'll spread.

They'll think twice about comin' over my border.

F***in' beaners.

F***in' beaners

can leave this country.

Or you can leave this earth.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, god.

Let's hurry up, get a position

before the sun goes down.

It's gonna be

real busy around here.

Weird how they

keep buryin' the others.

Yeah, well,

if we keep roundin' 'em up and bringin' 'em back here,

Maybe these dumbasses

will get the picture.

Where the hell Connie go?

I don't know.

Wonder if this one's

got any gold in his teeth.

Smile.

Whoo hoo!

Burial at sea!

Whoo!

Yeah.

What the hell

you doin', Connie?

You never said nothin' to me

about no killin'.

You said we were

just gonna scare 'em.

Buck, give me

the f***in' truck keys!

Connie!

Put that gun down before you blow one of your tits off!

Buck, give me the f***in' keys!

Oh, my god!

What is that?!

Don't just stand there!

Get it off! Get it off me!

Get it off me!

Oh, my god!

I can't see!

Oh, god!

Get off me, you b*tch!

Get off me, you b*tch!

Buck!

What the hell you make of that?

Looks like another

god damn zombie.

So should we go get her?

What time is it?

Nah, shift's over.

Let's leave her for the damn animals.

What the f*** you lookin' at?

Don't.

Oh.

Can I help you?

No, I-I don't think so.

Hey!

Mind your own business,

motherf***er.

Hey, come on.

This is it.

I don't know how to repay you.

You don't have

to repay me, min-ah.

Just go to the police.

I-I could take you.

No, I can't.

This guy could come back.

They will send me back

to Pyongyang, Taejung.

Oh. I-I didn't know.

I just figured you were--

No.

I'm not.

Although it seems like

I have been here an eternity.

Okay.

Well, be careful.

I'll see you around.

Please come here, Taejung.

I am having a small party,

And I want to repay you

for everything

you have done for me.

I don't know.

I'm not much of a--

Just come, Taejung.

You won't forget it.

Promise.

You came, Taejung Shi.

At the end of the rainbow

There's happiness

But my life is a race

Just a wild goose chase

And my dreams

have all been denied

Why have I always

been a failure?

What can the reason be?

I wonder

if the world's to blame

I wonder

if it could be me

Hands on the wheel, please.

Let's see your license

and registration, please.

Yeah, certainly.

Thank you.

You were, uh, swerving

a little bit back there.

Are you having some problems

driving this evening?

Oh, no, no, I was just closing

the glove compartment,

and I thought

I saw something in the road.

No big deal.

And have you had

anything to drink tonight?

No, no, not at all.

What was that?

Why don't you pop

the trunk for me, sir.

You know, officer, I don't

think it's any big deal.

Just pop the trunk, please.

I wonder

if the world's to blame

I wonder

if it could be me

Hands on the wheel, please.

Let's see your license

and registration, please.

Yeah, certainly.

Thank you.

You were, uh, swerving

a little bit back there.

Are you having some problems

driving this evening?

Oh, no, no, I was just closing

the glove compartment,

And I thought

I saw something in the road.

No big deal.

And have you had

anything to drink tonight?

No, no, not at all.

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