School Daze

---

Yo! This is it.

Once again we, as a people, are late.

- Right.

- That's right. Late, late and more late.

Now, how is it that Columbia,

Dartmouth, Yale...

all of these supposed greater institutions

of higher learning...

can beat us, Mission College, to the punch?

Again I ask, how is this?

Can anybody here answer

this little question for me?

- What question?

- What question?

This question.

How is it that all of the schools

that I have mentioned...

and a lot more, I might add...

how is it that they have divested

all of their money in South Africa?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we backwoods Negroes here...

at the so-called finest black college

in the land...

- Mission College...

- That's right.

...we are holding onto ours?

Holding onto it like a wino

clutching his last bottle.

Yes!

Till we have completely divested,

we need to march...

we need to protest,

we need to disrupt classes...

we need to sit in,

we need to shut the school down if need be.

Gammites!

G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!

G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!

Now, this homecoming weekend...

is the perfect opportunity

for us to marshal this attack.

Gammites, halt!

- Real.

- Real.

- Real.

- Real.

Gammites!

Gammites!

Gammites!

It takes a real man to be a Gamma man...

'cause only a Gamma man is a real man.

You know what, Julian?

I thought that was really nice. I really did.

Now why don't you take your Gamma dogs

and get the f*** out of here?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

We of Gamma Phi Gamma do not agree

with this African mumbo-jumbo.

And I am here to let you know

that your revolutionary activities here...

at Mission College are detrimental...

not only to the student body

and the Administration...

but to our brothers and sisters

in South Africa, as well.

Meow!

- You need to wake up, Julian.

- That's right, God damn it.

Man. Yo, man, what's up?

Fellas, wait!

As President

of the Student Government Association...

and a key-wearing member

of Phi Beta Kappa...

I abhor and will not tolerate violence

or the threat of violence...

on this sacred campus.

- F*** you, scrotum face!

- Yo, man.

Go read a book.

It is safe to say that President McPherson

agrees with me, 100%% .

So let's break this up.

Virgil, why don't you shut the f*** up?

You heard what I said.

Please, will you leave?

Dap, he did say "please."

Shut up, Monroe.

Okay.

This guy's full of sh*t, man.

Come on. Let's go.

- Hey, homeboy.

- Squash all of that. Squash all of that.

Gammites!

G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!

G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!

G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!

G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!

G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!

G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!

- Rachel...

- Dap.

Don't pay him no mind.

He's just trying to make you angry.

- Julian is bugged.

- No, Julian is smart, Rachel.

He's confused, but he's smart.

Come on. Walk me to my class.

I can't. I gotta stay in here.

I gotta stay in shantytown.

- See you later?

- Yeah. Okay.

Don't worry about it.

Be crisp, be clean!

Roll call!

Gammites!

Greetings...

Dean Big Brother Almighty...

most eloquent leader of Gamma Phi Gamma.

Gammites!

Hello,

Big Brother General George Patton, sir!

- Gammites!

- Hello, Big Brother Chucky.

No rush!

- Gammites!

- Hello, Big Brother Dr Feelgood.

- Gammites!

- Hello, Big Brother Lance.

- Gammites!

- What up, Big Brother X-Ray Vision?

I don't like none of these motherfuckers.

Man, you know, I hear they've been trying

to get some trim.

Oh, sh*t!

Julian, how long these sorry moonheads

been on line, anyhow?

Gammites, do you hear this?

Six weeks on line...

and you still do not meet the approval

of your Big Brothers.

This deeply grieves my heart.

Now, when you began,

there were 10 Gammites.

Now only eight remain.

Now, I do not know how many of you

will cross the burning sands...

to the oasis of Gamma Phi Gamma.

But I do know...

that there is no room for any pretenders.

A weak link amongst the ranks.

Which one of you is it?

- Slim Daddy!

- No, not my personal Slim.

- Rhino teeth.

- Don't be putting it on Slim.

- Mussolini.

- Mussolini.

- Porky.

- He couldn't be that big.

Sir Nosy.

- Sir Nose.

- That's a nose.

- Yoda, definitely.

- Yoda wears...

No, it couldn't be Yoda.

It was Nose. It was Nose.

Yoda, there's no truth but truth.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

- Mustafa.

- Double Rubber!

- Don't lose me my bet.

- Don't get close. Doo-Doo Breath!

- Doo-Doo.

- Unsavoury students.

- Half-Pint!

- Yes, Dean Big Brother Almighty.

- How tall are you?

- Five feet, five inches.

Yeah, you're a 5'5" piece of sh*t.

Yes, Dean Big Brother Almighty.

I don't even know why you pledged.

This is not for you.

Gamma men are real men.

- I am a real man, a Gamma man.

- Were you asked to speak?

You're not a Gamma man yet.

Brothers,

I suspect this sawed-off human being...

hasn't even had a girl yet.

- It's not true.

- Isn't that right?

- I bet you're still a virgin, aren't you?

- No, Dean Big Brother Almighty.

- Are you calling me a liar?

- No, Dean Big Brother Almighty.

- I haven't been a virgin since ninth grade.

- Bullshit! You're a goddamn virgin!

You ain't seen no parts of the p*ssy.

I'm not no virgin.

You'll become a Gamma man

over my dead body.

I don't even know how you got this far.

You're weak, a p*ssy.

And you're gonna drop

just like your cousin.

I'll be a good Gamma man.

You'll see, you'll see.

- Look, don't be eyeballing me.

- Lay off him, Julian.

You'll become a Gamma man

over my dead body.

Now, look.

You better get a freak over here tonight.

And no Gamma Rays, neither.

I don't care if she's blind, fat...

no teeth, one leg and a kickstand.

I ain't pledging no virgins.

You got it?

So you get that freak over here tonight.

Now straighten up

and get the hell out of here, all of you!

Get that smile off your face.

Darrell.

Sorry, but I can't let the Big Brothers

see me talking to you.

Thanks a lot. So what's up?

Dean Big Brother Almighty went off on me.

I told you not to pledge.

So what else is new?

I gotta bring a girlie back

to the Gamma House tonight.

- He thinks I'm a virgin.

- For once in his life he's right.

- Come on, Dap.

- So what you want me to do?

The Gamma grapevine says

we'll be going over tomorrow night.

And any fault they find will "X" me.

I'm your first cousin, family blood.

You've got to help me.

Hey, Darrell, when you needed money,

I gave it to you.

When you needed your laundry done,

I did it for you.

I got you food and stuff

for your Big Brothers.

I just don't happen to have no females

laying around the dorm.

And even if I did,

I wouldn't help you like that, man.

This one day,

can you forget about your differences...

with Dean Big Brother Almighty?

- You mean Julian?

- No, Dean Big Brother Almighty.

- Julian.

- No, I mean Dean Big Brother Almighty.

All right, already, Darrell. Damn.

Vaughn. Think about me. This'll be my neck.

Can't you talk to Rachel?

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