School of Rock Page #7

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I wasn't always wound this tight.|There was a time when I was fun.

I was funny. I was.

But you can't be funny and be|the principal of a prep school.

No, you cannot, because|when it comes to their kids,

these parents,|they have no sense of humor.

If anything goes wrong, it's my head.|It's my head in the smasher.

These parents will come down|on me like a nuclear bomb.

I can't make a mistake.|I gotta be perfect.

And that pressure has turned me into|one thing that I never wanted to be.

A b*tch.

- No. You're not.|- Yes, I am. I am a big one.

Well, I don't think so.|I think you're pretty cool.

Really?

- No.|- Yeah. You're way cool.

Really?

- OK, drums?|- House.

- Keyboards?|- House.

- Amps? All right. Cable?|- Got them.

- All right. Guitar?|- Yes.

- Mr. S.|- Yeah?

What do you think?

I don't know. I...

They might be a little distracting.

It's glitter rock and it's glam|and it's fabulous.

Billy, it's just not the right style.

You're gonna talk to me|about style?

You can't dress yourself.|Look at that bow tie.

Don't talk about my bow tie.

You know what, I give up.|They can just wear their uniforms.

- That's not a bad idea.|- Not a bad idea?

- I was kidding.|- Excuse me.

- Hey, hey. What is that?|- What's what?

- What are you playing?|- Just something I wrote.

You wrote a song?

- Well, let's hear it.|- No, it's not that good.

Come on, I want to hear it,|Kurt Cobain.

- OK, but I'm not much of a singer.|- It's all right.

Baby, we were making straight A's

But we were stuck in a dumb daze

Don't take much|To memorize your lies

FeeI like I've been hypnotized

Wait. You wrote that?|You wrote that?

That's it.|Guys, rock 'n' roll positions.

- What are you doing?|- We're gonna learn your song.

- But why?|- That's what bands do, man.

Play each other's songs.|You got lyrics?

Hook me up.

No more secret songs.|All right, Lawrence,

no more reading. Time for rock.

Get on the drum. Bass it up.

- What was that chord?|- D.

- Play it.|- D...

...C, G, C.

- Baby, we were making straight A's|- Yeah. Yeah.

But we were stuck in a dumb daze

Don't take much|To memorize your lies

And ifyou wanna be|The teacher's pet

Baby, youjust better forget it

Rock is the reason|Rock is the rhyme

Know what would be better?

"Rock got no reason,|Rock got no rhyme. "

Can we try that? Also, we need|some "ooh la-la's", so like:

Try that. Can we take|it from the chorus?

One, two, three, four.|One, two, three.

And if you wanna be|The teacher's pet

Baby, you just better forget it

Rock got no reason|Rock got no rhyme

You'd better get me to schooI on time|And ifyou wanna be the teacher's pet

Baby, youjust better forget it

Rock got no reason|Rock got no rhyme

You better get me to schooI on time

I'm gonna solo there|if it's cool with you.

- All right.|- You can solo later.

- OK.|- Let me rock a solo there, I can feel it.

Tomorrow is the big day,|so get your rest.

No late parties, drinking tequila|and trying to get lucky.

Chances like this do not|come around every day.

You've played hard in here,

and I am proud of every|last stinking one of you.

Let's just give this everything we got.|We may fall on our faces,

but if we do,|we will fall with dignity!

With a guitar in our hands|and rock in our hearts!

And in the words of AC/DC:

"We roll tonight to the guitar bite,

"and for those about to rock...

"... I salute you. "

Ros, excuse me, wanted to remind|you about our field trip tomorrow.

- What field trip?|- The educational concert.

Oh, I forgot about that..

I don't know, school policy|is very difficult to get around.

But you said|we could make an exception,

and the kids are excited|about hearing some Mozart.

I know, but the preparations,|there's not enough time.

I don't know anything about it.|Where is it?

I've got it all covered.|What's going on, are you mad at me?

No, no, Ned. I'm sorry,|I'm just a little stressed out

because it's Parents' Night tonight.

Hey, it's all gonna be fine.

Ned, would you mind coming|with me tonight to Parents' Night?

It wouldn't be a date or anything.|I get nervous around the parents,

and there's something about you|that makes me feel more relaxed.

You know what,|that sounds so great, Ros, but...

- But what?|- I wasn't planning on going tonight.

You have to. You're their teacher.|You have to give the presentation.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I got you.|I'm ready for that.

So we'll go together?

OK. Why don't you pick me up at,|say, 6:40.

- Done. All right.|- OK.

- What are you all dressed up for?|- I got a hot date.

That's weird.

I got a check from Horace|Green Prep for $1,200.

I've never worked there. '

- What are you doing?|- Calling the school.

Hi, this is Ned Schneebly...

Dewey?

What's going on?

I told them 15 times,|make it out to cash!

Dewey?

I did something bad, Ned.

- No.|- Yeah. I

They called for a sub. I said|I was you, to make some money.

But then I got there, and the kids,|they rock, man.

There's this kid Larry who's like,|"I'm not cool," but now he's like:

There's this other girl|who can sing like:

She thought she was too fat, so they|were dying, and the principal got drunk.

Now we're playing Battle of the Bands.|It's the coolest thing!

One day.|Then I will come clean.

I'll tell everyone it was my fault.|You'll be fine. One day!

- Ned, home.|- Don't say anything to her.

She'll blow everything. Please?

Hey. What's going on?

Nothing. I got a hot date,|that's what's going on.

See you later.

What's going on, Ned?

- Nothing.|- Nothing? Well...

OK, I don't think I can go in there.

- What's wrong?|- Ros...

...I'm not a teacher.

Oh, Ned. A substitute is a teacher.

No, no. I'm not a teacher.|I'm a fraud.

No. You're not.

You're a dedicated, talented teacher,|and those parents are gonna love you.

Just get in there and tell those parents|what you've been teaching their kids.

Yeah, you know, math, English...

What...? Science... What else?|Geography, history,

Latin, Spanish, French,

Latin... Math.|Did I say that already?

Anyway, all the stuff you want your|kids to know, it's been covered, OK?

So... h

...it was great to meet you all,|and drive safe.

Excuse me.

Ever since you started teaching here,|all my son can talk about is music.

He says when he grows up, he wants to be a musician.|Is this your influence?

Yeah, well, Mr. Schneebly, why has my daughter become|obsessed with David Geffen?

And how is this homework?

OK, see, I would like to tell you about|what we've been doing in here,

but there's such a thing as|teacher-student confidentiality,

and I don't want to be in breach|of educational law

because I could be dismembered|by the teacher's union.

So... o

You expect us to believe|this garbage?

Mr. S, don't you think you should|tell them about the project?

- What project?|- Our class project.

Every school in the state|is competing.

- Competing?|- It's not till next quarter,

but Mr. S wanted us|to get a head start.

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