Scooby Doo! Music of the Vampire

Gather 'round, you'll hear a sound

Ancient and mysterious

Where banshees cry and goblins sigh

In manners dark and curious

In the swamp where gators swim

There's much to fear, you'll see

But the spirits float adrift

On the bayou breeze

Mission bells and voodoo spells

The sounds of witches shrieking

Listen close, you'll hear a ghost

Or a zombie choir weeping

In the swamp, the spiders bile

It's wild, I guarantee

How the spirits float adrift

On the bayou breeze

In the swamp, them spiders bile

It's wild, I guarantee

How the spirits float adrift

On the bayou breeze

On the bayou breeze.

Well, hello there. Come on.

Come, come, come. Have you a seat.

Kick them shoes off you.

Shh. But not too loud, now.

You see, me, I'm fixing to have me

some gumbo tonight.

And them catfish

can get mighty skittish, yeah.

Whoa. Whoa.

What...? Oh, no, you don't.

You get back, you!

Get back, y'all loony lizards!

I'm going to have y'all for my gumbo.

Oh, what...?

Oh, that's a leech.

Oh, you cute little critter.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

You know what that was?

Me neither. Hoo-hoo!

But it could be one of them vampires.

They all around these parts, yeah.

Look here.

That's the jewels

of a vampire bride, y'all.

I found them down the bayou.

They're some kind of pretty, eh?

But let me tell y'all, she didn't

wanna get married to no vampire, no.

And who can blame her? Who would?

But she was forced to.

And then came a talking dog...

Whoop. I done almost spoiled the ending.

Heh.

We got to start at the beginning, cher.

And that,

that happened along way from here.

Scooby, Shaggy,

you guys spot anything yet?

- Uh-uh.

- Call me crazy, Scooby...

- ...but don't these pipes look familiar?

- Kind of.

Didn't we run into

that big rat creature down here?

That was two weeks ago, Shaggy,

in the New York sewers.

How could you forget?

Wasn't that the glop monster?

The glop monster was on Saturday.

Remember?

Rat creature, then glop monster,

then snake-osaurus.

They're all starting to merge.

Better get ready for this one, Shaggy,

because it's coming.

I know. It's coming our way.

That was on Saturday too.

Huh?

- Hang on.

- It's huge!

We're coming.

Whatever you do, don't let it eat you

before we get there.

Oh, it's just a common cockroach.

There is nothing common

about a cockroach.

Is it singing?

Not singing. Signaling.

Signaling to what?

To that cockroach.

Gross!

Glad I brought a giant roll of flypaper.

Oh... Unh!

There, that's better.

Or not.

Mr. Clapper.

Of course.

He was using the cockroach monster...

...to drum up customers

for his exterminator company.

Just as I thought, guys. Guys?

Ew! Get it away!

I think we could all use a nice vacation.

Vacation?

- No, Daphne.

- Don't do it. We're begging you.

I'm sorry, guys, but I have to do this.

- No!

- No!

Show tunes make road trips

so much better.

The songs do get stuck in your head.

Tell us about it.

Well, I don't hear Velma complaining.

Did you say something?

Oh, are we still listening to show tunes?

You all complain now, but I bet

you'll be singing along in no time.

- Ha, ha. You hear that, Scoob?

- Yeah.

So, Velma, you ever gonna reveal

our secret vacation destination?

Not till we get there.

You guys are gonna love it.

Just as long as

they've got plenty of sunshine.

There is only one thing Scooby-Doo

and I are hoping for this vacation.

I don't want no more ghouls

Or nothing scary

No apparitions giving me a fright

Don't want nothing

that I need to bury

Or creatures that go

bumping in the night

No poltergeists

and nothing supernatural

No giant beast

That sneaks up from behind

No ghosts that rattle chains

Or things that eat your brains

No banshee witch

That scares me out of my mind

We're finally on vacation

And going someplace new

Rest and relaxation

Is all we're gonna do

I don't want no zombies or kooks

My friends, we're finally done

With all them goblins and spooks

That kept us on the run

We're gonna be cool as cukes

Our monster days are through

- No demonic beast and nothing

It's time to relax

And that's what we're gonna do

No more frown

We're moving down the road now

Keep that metal pedal to the floor

We haven't got a clue

Where we're headed to

But it's somewhere

That we've never been before

Cruising down the highway

Free without a care

It feels bizarre because

There are no werewolves anywhere

Don't want no dragons or freaks

And no crazy evil sprites

I don't want no

phantom that shrieks

Haunting us every night

I don't want no Comic-Con geeks

Walking up out of the blue

Dressed like bats and 7-fool rats

Chasing me down and saying

"How do you do?"

Lift your hand up high

Let it wave goodbye

To them gremlins

and monsters galore

Tell them all we're gone

'Cause we're moving on

And we ain't coming

back any more.

Hey, look, our destination.

See? Show tunes really do

help pass the time.

"Petit Chauve Sourie Ville"? Ooh.

Like, it sounds monster-free to me.

Hoo-hon!

Yeah, up top.

What does the French translate to?

Oh, it means "Little Bat Town."

- Uh-oh.

- Not to worry, Scoob.

Velma promised us this place would be

ghost-, ghoul-, and goblin-free.

What? Whoa!

Hey, I'm stalking here! I'm stalking here!

She didn't say anything about vampires.

Didn't I?

Mm, must've slipped my mind.

Shaggy, Scooby, you can come out.

It was just a kid in a costume.

Like, you sure?

Absolutely. He's probably just here

for the vampire festival.

Oh.

Vampire festival?

Yup, Vampire Palooza.

You brought us to a vampire convention?

To relax?

Not a vampire convention.

It's a celebration of all things vampiric.

Cool. And what better place

to experience it than Little Bat Town.

Ooh! Vampires are so romantic.

Have you read Silverlight?

Twelve times. I'm hoping

the author will be here to sign it.

Are we missing something here?

Like, what's so romantic about

undead creatures who sleep in coffins...

...prowl the night in search of victims,

steal their blood...

...and turn them

into their zombie servants?

Oh, those are old-school vampires.

Modern vampires are fun and super-cool.

Vampires don't sleep in coffins any more.

They sleep in Seattle.

- You're not making us feel better.

- Uh-uh.

Says here this place was founded

in the 19th century...

...by Abraham Van Helsing, the famous

vampire hunter of Dracula fame.

And it's still owned by

one of the Van Helsings' descendants.

So it's like a ghost town.

No, a vampire ghost town.

This is the last time

we let you pick the vacation spot.

- Yeah.

- Relax, guys.

There's absolutely nothing to fear.

Hey, Scoob,

when have we heard that before?

Every day of our lives.

You guys worry too much.

Well, we're not the only ones.

This fair is an abomination,

an affront to all that is good and decent.

Sign the petition to ban vampires?

- Like, that's a cause we can support.

- Mm-hm, mm-hm.

Here there be demons.

Here there also be corn dogs.

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