Scoop Page #2

stuff so no children here.

I need a grown-up volunteer.

Someone who's willing

to put her life on the line.

Is this your first time on stage?

Yes.

Yes, you've never done...

Well, you got nothing to be afraid of.

You nervous?

Don't be nervous.

What's your name?

Tell them your name.

Sondra Pransky.

A landsman!

United States! Fantastic!

And where are you from, Sondra?

No, don't tell me,

'cause I got a great ear

for that kind of thing.

Alabama!

Am I right? Am I right?

- Close.

- Yeah?

- I'm from Brooklyn.

- Incredible!

God bless you, sweetheart.

I'm from Brooklyn, too.

That is fantastic. I feel such

love coming from this woman.

I can't tell you.

It's really...

I say this with all sincerity

from the bottom of my heart.

You're an incredible human being

and a credit to your race.

Sondra, let me ask you a question.

What do you do? Tell them what you do.

I'm a student.

Yeah? A student?

And what are you studying?

No. No, wait! I got an instinct

for what a person is studying.

For exactly

what you'd be right for.

Dental hygienist!

Was I close?

No, I'm a journalism student.

You study journalism.

Well, if you...

Have you ever been

dematerialized before?

No.

No?

Well, there's nothing to be afraid of.

I'm just going to agitate some of

your molecules and split them apart.

It's not gonna hurt.

I just ate.

Is this gonna make me...

- You just ate.

- She said she...

I'll do the jokes, Sondra.

Now, Sondra, I'm going to

ask you to step into that box

and I'm gonna have your molecules split up.

I'm gonna split 'em up.

It's gonna be very painless.

And I'm gonna put you

back together again.

Don't tickle me.

Tell them what you just said to me.

You got to hear this.

Tell them what you said to me.

- No, tell them, tell them.

- No.

She said, "Don't tickle me."

God bless you, sweetheart.

You got a fantastic sense of humor.

You know if more people in the

world had a sense of humor,

we would not be

in the state we are in today.

I kid you not.

Get in the box. Get in the box, Sondra.

Go ahead.

In the box. Go ahead. Get in the box.

Get in the box. Hurry up.

I'm going to agitate the molecules now.

Miss Sondra Mandelbaum.

Pransky.

Pransky, Mandelbaum.

What's the...

We take off the same holidays.

Doesn't matter.

Get in the box, sweetheart,

and don't be scared.

You in there?

You're a journalist, right?

Oh, my God.

What are you doing in here?

Aren't you a journalist? Yeah?

I mean, those are the vibrations

I've been concentrating on.

Are you ready, Sondra?

I'm Joe Strombel, reporter,

and I have the scoop of the decade

about the Tarot Card murder case.

I mean if it pans out,

it'll be fantastic.

It's got everything.

Big names, murder, prostitution.

I'm going to start agitating

your molecules.

You're a journalist.

I've got some information for you.

Big story.

Big, big, big scoop.

Peter Lyman...

Come on out, Sondra. Come on out, sweetheart.

Come on out, sweetheart.

The trick's over.

It's over. It's over.

She's a little stunned.

She's never been on stage before.

So, you know...

She's a little stunned.

Are your molecules okay?

Is everything feeling good?

You all in shape?

You got all your parts?

That's fantastic.

Okay, Sondra, take your seat.

Go back to your seat.

Go back to your seat.

Go ahead. She's great.

Let's hear it for her.

She's great.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

Go back to your seat.

Will you take out

the blue light, please?

'Cause I'm getting a completely

negative vibration from the blue.

It's not right.

There's a lady to see you, sir.

Hey, Mandelbaum!

From the school newspaper,

am I right?

No, Pransky.

Listen, I have to talk to you

about something very serious.

When you put me

inside that box...

I smell a frivolous lawsuit here.

You going to tell me you're getting

headaches now or something?

Dizzy spells?

No. No. When you put me inside

that Chinese box...

Yeah, the dematerializer.

...a spirit materialized.

No, Mr. Splendini,

I'm very serious about this.

You can drop the Splendini.

My name is Sidney Waterman.

You know what I mean?

I just go exotic

to give the square haircuts a

little charisma now and then.

Look, the spirit appeared

right next to me!

At first I thought

he was one of your stooges.

I don't work with stooges, you know,

because you gotta pay them health benefits.

But then he told me

his name was Joe Strombel,

a journalist

from the land of the departed.

I couldn't believe it.

I'm a journalist,

he's a journalist.

I mean, our vibes must have

kind of meshed together and...

You know, he didn't say that,

in so many words,

but I'm putting

two and two together here.

Do me a favor, put two and

two together someplace else,

because I'm very, very busy.

So, do you mind?

Listen, I Googled him, okay?

There is a Joe Strombel

and he died three days ago.

Just put me back in the box.

Now, I'm going

to agitate the molecules,

so let me know

if anything happens,

you know, just keep me posted.

I'll be right here.

The molecules are whirling.

Mr. Strombel? Joe?

It's Sondra Pransky here.

I'm a journalist at Adair.

I know you may have been

aiming a little bit higher,

but I assure you,

whatever I lack in experience,

I make up for in dedication.

I'm beginning

to lose patience, Sondra.

So, let's go. Is there

anybody in there at all?

Nothing. Nothing yet.

Okay, that's it.

Finito. I've had it.

Come on, sweetheart.

And if I were you,

I would not tell this episode

to anyone else,

because they'll take away

your driver's license.

- I don't understand.

- What? What's to understand?

- I thought that...

- It's plywood. I built it.

What're you thinking,

there are spirits?

And there's a world of departed people?

I don't know what you've been smoking,

but don't try

and bring it through customs.

Darling, I'm a little late.

Sweetheart, I love you.

You know that.

I say this with all due

respect, but... I...

Sondra? Sondra?

- Mr. Strombel!

- Listen to me, Sondra.

Carefully. Listen to me? Write this down.

This is a big story.

You got a pen?

I only have a minute.

Would you hurry?

Fine.

There's every reason to believe

that Peter Lyman... You got that name?

Yes. Peter Lyman.

Son of Lord Lyman,

a respected businessman.

Rich, good-looking,

very successful.

That Peter Lyman is

the Tarot Card Serial Killer.

Now, just write this down.

If so, that he's murdered a dozen women.

Short-haired, brunette prostitutes.

And if it turns out to be Lyman,

this will be the biggest story

to hit London since Jack the Ripper.

"Jack the Ripper."

Is that capitalized?

There's no knowing

where he'll strike next,

but more women will be

murdered until he is stopped.

That's horrible!

We have to notify the police.

No, no.

What kind of reporter are you?

That would be a disaster!

God, no!

He's a respected millionaire.

You can't accuse anyone,

let alone someone like that

without substantial proof.

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