Scopone scientifico, Lo (The Scientific Cardplayer)

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Only a few weeks ago, news agencies

were talking about her death

instead here she is,

our dear lady,

more alive than ever, even though

recently recovered from a bad illness,

As always, she has her usual

smile on her face,

with her simple and democratic manners.

They say that she has a private

income of 20 million per day,

but nobody knows for sure;

the same goes for her age.

I?

Thanks, thanks.

Madam, where are you coming

from this time?

In short, madam, you are traveling

around the world chasing spring?

Yes and that's what I suggest

to women to keep young.

Madam, where are you from?

My father's father was Dutch,

my mother Italian,

my father was American...

- Hold still, let me hear!

...Practically, I regard myself

as a citizen of the world.

During your stay in Rome,

where are you based?

Every year, in May, I rent

a villa on top of a hill.

A beautiful villa surrounded

by a wonderful garden,

I like it because as I open the

window in my bedroom,

I can see San Peter's dome.

So I am really certain

that I'm in Rome.

It's facing a Roman "borgata",

inhabited by poor people,

with whom I get along.

Madam, what are your hobbies?

My only passion is playing cards,

my chauffeur and I know card games

from almost anywhere in the world.

Your preferred game?

It's Italian,; it's called

"scopone scientifico".

It's an ancient game, I believe,

very clever,

terrible, ruthless...

- Let's go, come with me.

Then we do not wish you a good

stay, but good card games.

We broadcasted:
"Roman news,

arrivals and departures".

Grab, keep the baby.

Can you give me a coin?

- Here. Are you calling your mother?

- Yeah.

Can you insert it for me,

I can't reach it?

Antonia,

your daughter is on the phone.

Hello, it's mom here, what's up?

Really?

Who told you that?

Listen, take the mothballs

out of the suit,

go to Elide and ask for the shoes.

Yes, I call papa, yeah, yeah,

I call him, bye dear, ciao.

The oldie is back.

More than this, as I'm loaded,

I can't give you.

But it is all good stuff!

I don't need paper,

I need iron, got that Cross-eyed?

Gotcha, I'm gonna bring

you the iron you want!

Hey, how much you

give me for this load?

What? 1500?

It's all top quality stuff,

there are 200 KGs of paper,

I don't need demijohns,

I need iron!

I want iron!

- This is iron.

Papa, leave him alone,

let's go to S. Giovanni.

No, have a rest, let papa negotiate.

I don't want demijohns,

I want iron, iron.

Listen, iron fellow...

let's do 1600?

Give me 1600.

OK, 1600.

Papa, if you didn't give in so quickly,

he would have given you 2000.

You say so? Maybe he would

have beaten us too.

- He's there, Peppino?

- Yes.

- He's here.

- The Maroccan wants to talk to you.

The Maroccan?

And what's he want?

- Run, papa!

- Yes, calm down, don't push, papa.

If you want the stuff,

you must give me 2000 lire.

What do you want, who knows you?

I can't talk right now;

I have a business to deal with.

Can I come in?

Maroccan, did you want me?

- Pe'

take a seat, I wanna talk to you.

- Here I am.

I want to make you a proposal,

that can change your destiny,

and your children's.

I am old now,

my wife has died,

I've got a swollen leg,

I want to retire in the country.

Great... in the country...

And your warehouse?

My warehouse... if you put

you become the boss of it all.

It's all yours.

Maroccan...

I must confess it to you...

I dream of it every night,

of becoming the boss,

but when I wake up,

I haven't got a dime.

Where can I get 30 million?

Pe', the oldie has arrived...

The oldie?

No, you can't have

a funeral on credit,

the hearse belongs to the City

and you have to pay in advance.

Uncle Osva'?

- To die is really a luxury...

- Hey, Cesari'?

- Ahi papa, you hurt me.

- You too? I got a hit myself.

Give me the black suit

of Uncle Osvaldo.

- The oldie is here?

- Yes, tonight we play!

I give you the shoes too,

so you look good.

Good, the pointy ones,

for ceremonies.

No, you must pay the crowns

in advance, my workers...

This jacket is soaked with incense.

Hi Uncle, thanks.

Where are you going with the suit?

Tomorrow I've got a funeral.

What should I wear tonight at the oldie's?

I'll bring it back tomorrow.

Let's go, quick.

Don't waste this chance,

take her for lots of million...

Take her for lots of million,

to the oldie!

Peppi', make it tough for this oldie!

Come on Peppi'...

Be calm,

don't lose your head...

Anto'!

Anto'!

She is back, at last,

our old lady,

you didn't believe it. What did I say,

I was dreaming of her all nights.

- Papa, papa!

- The parcel, the parcel for mama...

Anto', come there is a surprise for you!

What have you done,

what did you bring?!

I've got an evening dress.

No, stay calm...

What are you doing, don't push!

You're taking my hut down.

Take Anto'! - But what is it?

- This is a sign from destiny.

- It looks like a curtain.

It's a dress. Where did you

buy it? It's all dusty.

I found it while cleaning

the countess' cellar.

- Mama, do you like it? I found it!

- Nice, very nice,

it's all shiny. - Peppi', if tonight

you ain't taking 10 million off her,

tomorrow morning I'm

going to spit on you.

Go away!

Don't confuse his head,

tonight he is going to play,

otherwise he makes a mess!

It's 2 years I've been using a brace,

I'm all in pieces.

You know how it happened,

the oldie's driver ran me over.

But this time, if Peppino

doesn't get justice,

I'll take a petrol can and

I'll set the villa on fire!

Stay still!

The two of you, stop playing and

come eat - it's late!

- Mama...

- How is the new dress on me?

You are a queen, my love.

Papa, you have to take her for

What? 20?! I'm gonna cut my hand off

if I don't take her for at least 100!

Who's going to claim the opposite,

this time papa and I have trained

all winter and we are unbeatable.

Why are we unbeatable?

Because mama and I love each other,

we go along together.

Just a glance and we understand each

other. That's playing in pairs!

That's why tonight we are confident.

- Papa is right!

- Love, have a rice ball...

- No, do you want to be sick?

Then you play badly.

You are right; better be light.

Hurry up, Anto'. The more we play

and the more money we take her for...

Don't forget - don't be late.

If we win a bunch of million,

we're going to wake you up,

otherwise, we'll let you sleep.

- Bye, goodnight.

- Bye. - Bye.

Cleopa', give a kiss to papa.

Are you sad?

Why, we are so hopeful,

now that the oldie is here.

Aren't you happy?

Yes.

- Good, that's how I like it.

- Eat!

Have a smile, Cleopa'.

Please, love.

At last! You are finally here.

If it was just me, I'm always on time,

but you know how women are,

a bit flirtatious!

Antonia had a bath, manicure,

an evening dress...

have you seen the fox stole,

Pasqualina? - Yes, I saw it.

Clean up your shoes.

- But we came by car...

Why did you come to the airport?

Who knew it... we thought she was dead.

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