Scramble Page #3

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anybody he don't know.

- Okay.

- He's super paranoid.

But he likes me.

I hooked him up during

that Adderall shortage in 2012.

I didn't even know

that was a thing.

- It wasn't.

- Oh, ho, ho.

Oh, you're kidding.

- You know, man.

- Hey, you got any more weed?

- Yeah, a little bit.

- Okay, cool. I need it.

They're targeting us.

This is no coincidence.

Those are both

regular customers.

Top brass.

I want this to stop now!

Get it, boy.

He's off the Adderall.

We're here

on different business.

Who's the Jew?

I'm frank.

Right this way.

Young master, I have Mr.

Simon and his associate.

Simon!

How you been, mi africano?

As good as a drug dealer

can f***ing be.

- When pot's legal in Cali.

- That's right.

Good for me, shitty for you.

Who's your friend?

This is frank.

- Nice suit.

- Like a penguin.

Give me a hit of that.

Yeah.

Sorry I didn't buy this

from you, Simon.

That's cool.

Been growing myself, actually.

It's been jacking up

my electric bill quite a bit.

- Hey, yo, can I get a hit?

- Hey, look, we don't have time to mess around, Simon.

All right, now, my girlfriend,

she's held up in some basement,

- and I need your help.

- Oh, sh*t.

Do you need my help?

F***, he needs my help.

Someone's killing

the vibe around here.

And I don't appreciate it.

Do I, Lester?

You should go.

- Oh, whoa, whoa, we just got...

- hey!

Short stays are the sweetest.

Don't wanna overstay

our welcome.

Please, I just... I just was

wondering if I could borrow some money.

Man, 25 seconds in

and he's already doing

the f***ing greenback boogie.

Look, I will pay you back.

I just... I need the money now

so I can get her back.

Are you... "I need

the money now. Help me.

I'm poor."

Do you want a bottle?

Lester.

Almond milk?

- Please.

- How much?

75 grand.

75,000.

You're a fine one, kid.

Now, if you guys don't mind

just getting the f*** outta here.

Look, Simon says that you

may be able to help us out.

- Oh, did we now, Simon?

- Yeah.

And what makes you think

I'd be so inclined

to help you and your mousy

little friend?

2012?

Touche.

Touche.

So who's basement has the honor of

holding your little girlfriend, anyway?

Some guy named Dom Fertelli.

- Dom Fertelli?

- Yeah.

What a rat bastard he is.

Wait, you know him?

Of course I know Dom Fertelli.

- Everyone knows Dom Fertelli.

- Clearly.

Where do you think jenny

over here came from? The moon?

Made of cheese?

Look, her dad owed him

a lot of money,

but Fertelli says

if we pay him back,

he'll let her go.

Paying for your girlfriend's

freedom, huh?

Two sides of the same coin,

you and Dom.

Listen, Simon,

I like you, I really do,

but your proposition

doesn't interest me.

Bets are tricky devils.

No one wins in the end.

I know.

Besides, my money

is very dear to me,

- and I just hate to part...

- just consider it a loan.

Tish tosh, it's all

just words, Frank.

What I wanna know is

what are you gonna do for me?

You can't get something

for nothing.

Name your price.

How about $75,000?

- That we don't have this second.

- Whoa, whoa, right.

You don't have $75,000.

Listen, there's nothing

I could ever want from you

that I can't already buy myself.

You know, I'm gonna play

this game with you.

You know why?

It's actually quite boring

being rich.

You've seen it all.

You've done it all.

Tasted it all.

It's boring being bored.

We'll, um, we'll do anything.

All right.

Whoa! Both of us?

Look, I'm not in on it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not

gonna help poor little Frankie out?

- It's not my debt.

- Then f*** that. No deal!

- Hey, hey, hey, hey...

- look, I got a league of legends tourney

- starting in 15 minutes,

- Simon.

And I gotta meditate.

This guy, gypsy 69,

has it out for me,

f***ing elven b*tch.

But why do you need me too?

Isn't that what friends are for?

Are you gonna abandon

your buddy in his time of need?

Simon, please.

Okay, I'll go.

Too late, deal's off the table.

What? Come on!

I'll do it, please.

- Is that your final answer?

- Mmm.

Tick tock.

You're on the clock.

Yes.

Thank you, Lester.

Now this is getting interesting.

Two friends brought together

in times of tragedy.

Best of buds.

It's like a

lifetime movie in the making.

What do you think?

Is it marketable?

Absolutely, sir.

Mmm, maybe not.

You're not gonna ask us

to murder anyone, are you?

Come here.

You boys want some tea?

Lester, bring the boys

some tea, come on.

Thanksgiving day, 1971.

A guy named Dan cooper

boards a flight to Oregon

dressed in a $3,000 suit.

He orders a bourbon and soda

before telling the waitress

he's got a bomb in his pocket.

This guy demands 200,000

in dollar bills,

two parachutes and a fuel truck.

Then he orders a second bourbon,

hold the soda.

Pays his tab.

Keep the change.

Before jumping out

of the goddamn plane.

And it wasn't for the money,

I tell you that.

I mean, the guy

could have robbed a bank

situated squarely on the ground

in a much more

cost-effective manner.

But where's the fun

in that, huh?

The f***ing Mona Lisa? Hell, the

janitor wiped it clean off the wall.

Hell, it wasn't even the most

expensive painting,

but it got people talking.

They'd even come around

and see the spot

where it used to hang.

It's funny, isn't it?

F***ing Nazis. Thomas crown,

the f***ing pilgrims.

They all wanted something

they couldn't buy,

so they f***ing stole it.

This...

this is what I want.

You okay?

Yeah.

I'll go up first.

You'll have to wait for her.

You know, sir, it's not exactly

hotel policy to perform

these kind of services

in the guest's bed.

Mm, well...

well, that's precisely

why I'm paying you extra.

Yes, sir.

You haven't been doing

this long, have you?

Just started here last week.

Mm-hmm, which slum

did you come from?

Excuse me?

Which slum did you

come from before this?

Um, I'm from new york, actually.

Huh!

There's a lot of tension here

in your left shoulder.

Would you say you use this

body part more than others?

Extensively.

Get in there deep.

A little lower,

yeah, that area's fine.

A little lower.

I've got real bad knots.

Much lower.

Mmm, that's a little warmer.

Lower.

Keep going.

Ah.

Expecting someone?

- Oh! Oh!

- Fetch a robe, would you, love?

Ah, okay.

Oh, Jesus, I don't get paid

enough for this sh*t.

Oh. Good luck.

- Hey.

- V.

I heard you were off the beat.

Yes, and yet here I am.

Shall we?

Let's.

So what brings you back?

Let's just say the retirement

got a little boring.

Hmm, hmm, they say.

The two enemies of human

happiness are pain and boredom.

Lucky for me I enjoy pain.

And I never get bored.

- You know me well.

- I think intimately's the word.

Sunshine on Tuesdays,

2:
05 like clockwork.

What can I say?

I'm a creature of habit.

What did you do

with little miss sunshine?

So am I still gonna get paid?

Right, right, right.

I hope you don't mind,

my tastes have gotten

a bit more sophisticated

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