Scream Page #20

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STU:

Jesus, this place is packed.

RANDY:

(picking up videos)

We had a run in the mass murder

section.

STU:

You coming tonight?

RANDY:

Yeah, I'm off early -- curfew you

know.

(looking off)

Now that's poor taste.

STU:

What?

Randy refers to Billy who stands down the aisle talking to

TWO GIRLS. (The twits from the bathroom perhaps.)

RANDY:

If you were the only suspect in a

senseless bloodbath would you be

standing in the horror section?

STU:

It was all a misunderstanding. He

didn't do anything.

RANDY:

You're such a little lap dog. He's

got killer printed all over his

forehead.

STU:

The why'd the police let him go?

RANDY:

Because, obviously they don't watch

enough movies. This is standard horror

movie stuff. PROM NIGHT revisited.

Randy moves down the aisle, reshelving videos.

STU:

Why would he want to kill his own

girlfriend?

RANDY:

There's always some stupid bullshit

reason to kill your girlfriend. That's

the beauty of it all. Simplicity.

Besides, if it's too complicated you

lose your target audience.

STU:

So what's his reason?

RANDY:

Maybe Sidney wouldn't have sex with

him.

STU:

She's saving herself for you.

RANDY:

Could be. Now that Billy's tried to

mutilate her, you think Sid would go

out with me?

STU:

I think her father did it. How come

they can't find his ass?

RANDY:

Because he's probably dead. His body

will come popping out in the last

reel somewhere... eyes gauged. See,

the police are always off track with

this sh*t, if they'd watch PROM NIGHT

they'd save time. There's formula to

it. A very simple one. Everyone's

always a suspect -- the father, the

principal, the town derelict...

STU:

Which is you...

RANDY:

So while they're off investigating a

dead end, Billy, who's been written

off as a suspect, is busy planning

his next hunting expedition.

BILLY (O.S.)

How do we know you're not the killer?

Randy spins around to find Billy right behind him. Busted.

RANDY:

Uh... hi, Billy.

BILLY:

Maybe your movie-freaked mind lost

it's reality button?

Randy shrugs, laughing it off.

RANDY:

You're absolutely right. I'm the

first to admit it. If this were a

scary movie, I'd be the prime suspect.

STU:

And what would be your motive?

RANDY:

It's 1995 -- motives are incidental.

EXT. MAIN STREET - LITTLE LATER

Dewey's patrol jeep makes it's way down mainstreet. It's

almost dark. The street is close to deserted.

INT. PATROL JEEP - CONTINUOUS

Dewey's behind the wheel having a heated conversation with

Tatum while Sid stares out the window.

DEWEY:

A party? Mom's gonna kill you. Then

me.

TATUM:

Don't be so self-righteous. It's

just a little blow out -- we'll be

perfectly safe.

Sid stares out the window. CLOSED SIGNS fill the storefronts,

a few people rush to their car, in a hurry to beat curfew.

SIDNEY:

God, look at this place, it's THE

TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN.

DEWEY:

Hey, I saw that movie. True story,

'bout some killer in Texas.

TATUM:

Hey, Sid. Just think if they make a

movie about you. Who's gonna play

you?

SIDNEY:

Oh, god...

Dewey comes to a stop, parking the car in front of the police

station. He looks to Sid with a brotherly smile.

DEWEY:

I see you as a young Meg Ryan myself.

SIDNEY:

Thanks, Dewey. But with my luck they'd

cast Tori Spelling.

EXT. PATROL JEEP - CONTINUOUS

They pile out of the jeep. Dewey heads for the station.

DEWEY:

I'll just be a few minutes. Don't go

far.

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