Scream Page #25

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INT. NEWSVAN

Kenny fidgets at the control board. He hits a coupla buttons,

bangs the side of the monitor and a picture emerges... the

living room. The camera is positioned just above the

television...

ON SCREEN:

The party is in full swing. Several TEENS sit right in front

of the television. Because of the camera's position they

appear to be staring right into the lens.

Suddenly, the van's side door slides open and Gale pops in.

KENNY:

Got a picture. Perfect placement. We

can see everything.

Gale is ecstatic.

GALE:

Tell me, Kenny, has a cheesy tabloid

journalist ever won the Pulitzer?

INT. BEDROOM

A large, master bedroom with glass doors that lead out onto

a balcony.

Sid and Billy stare at each other for a long moment. Awkward.

SIDNEY:

So...

BILLY:

So... I'm sorry. I've been a selfish

sh*t and I'm sorry.

SIDNEY:

No, Billy. I'm the one who's been

selfish and self-absorbed with all

of my post traumatic stress.

BILLY:

You lost your mom...

SIDNEY:

But you're right -- enough is enough.

I can't wallow in the grief process

forever and I can't keep lying to

myself about who my mom was.

Billy bows his head quietly, knowingly.

SIDNEY:

I think in some weird analytical,

psychological bullshit way I'm scared

I'm gonna turn out just like her,

you know? Like the bad seed or

something...

BILLY:

Oh Sidney...

SIDNEY:

Everytime I get close to you I see

my mom. I know it doesn't make sense.

BILLY:

Sure it does. It's like Jodie Foster

in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS when she

kept having flashbacks of her dead

father.

SIDNEY:

But this is life. This isn't a movie.

BILLY:

Sure it is, Sid. It's all a movie.

Life's one great big movie. Only you

can't pick your genre.

Billy moves to her. They embrace, tenderly.

SIDNEY:

I wanna let go. I do...

BILLY:

Ssshh... everything's gonna be okay.

I promise.

Sidney takes the initiative, acting on impulse, kissing him

long and hard. She breaks away passionately, out of breath.

SIDNEY:

Why can't I be a Meg Ryan movie?

Billy nibbles her neck.

BILLY:

Sshh... it's okay.

SIDNEY:

Or even a good porno.

BILLY:

(shocked)

What?

She stares at him, her eyes sexually charged.

SIDNEY:

You heard me.

BILLY:

(incredulous)

Are you serious?

SIDNEY:

(surprising herself)

Yeah... I think so.

They smile at each other.

INT. LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER

The camera sits on the book shelf lodged between two

knickknacks, completely inconspicuous. The CAMERA WIDENS to

reveal several TEENS watching the TV -- the horror diehards.

TEEN #1

Look, here it comes. SPLAT!

TEEN #2

The blood's not the right color. Why

do they do that? It's too red.

RANDY:

Here comes another...

TEEN #3

Predictable. Knew he was going to

bite it.

BORED TEEN:

How can you watch this sh*t over and

over?

RANDY:

Shhhhh.

STU:

I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts.

When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?

RANDY:

Not until TRADING PLACES in '83.

Jamie Lee was always the virgin in

horror movies. She didn't show her

tits until she went legit.

BOY TEEN:

No way.

RANDY:

That's why she always lived. Only

virgins can outsmart the killer in

the big chase scene in the end. Don't

you know the rules?

Stu finishes his beer.

STU:

What rules?

Randy hits the pause button on the remote and stands in front

of the television, explaining.

RANDY:

There are certain rules that one

must abide by in order to successfully

survive a horror movie. For instance:

1. You can never have sex. The minute

you get a little nookie -- you're as

good as gone. Sex always equals death.

2. Never drink or do drugs. The sin

factor. It's an extension of number

one. And 3. Never, ever, ever, under

any circumstances, say "I'll be right

back."

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