Scrooge

1

"Hark the Herald Angels Sing"

"Glory to the new born king!"

"Peace on earth and mercy mild,"

"God and sinners reconciled."

"Joyful all ye nations rise,"

"Join the triumphs of the skies,"

"With angelic hosts proclaim,"

"Christ is born in Bethlehem."

"Hark the herald angels sing,"

"Glory to the new born king!"

Old Marley was as dead as a doornail.

This must be distinctly understood

or nothing wonderful can come of

the story l'm going to relate.

The registry of burial was

signed by Scrooge

and Scrooge's name was good

on the London Exchange

for anything he chose

to put his hand to.

Ah, Mr. Scrooge.

Your servant, sir.

Are you off home to keep Christmas?

l am not in the habit of

keeping Christmas, Sir.

Then why are you leaving so early?

Because, Sir, Christmas is in habit of

keeping men from doing business.

Come it's the nature of things

that ants toil and grasshoppers

sing and play, Mr. Scrooge.

An ant is what it is, and

a grasshopper is what it is,

and Christmas, Sir,

is a humbug, good day.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Mr. Scrooge, Sir.

- Who are you?

Samuel Wilkins, Sir.

Oh yes, You owe me a little matter of

twenty-odd pounds, l believe.

Well if you want to pay it, come

to my place of business.

l don't conduct my affairs in the

teeth of inclement weather.

l - l can't pay you, Sir.

l'm not surprised.

Not unless you give me more time.

Did l ask you for more time

to lend you the money?

Oh, no, Sir!

Then why should you ask me

for more time to pay it back?

Can't take me wife to a debtors' prison.

Then leave her behind.

Why should she go to a

debtors' prison anyway?

She didn't borrow the twenty pounds,

you did.

Eh, ...what does your wife

got to do with it?

For that matter, what have l

got to do with it? Good afternoon.

But, Mr. Scrooge, it's Christmas!

Christmas has even less to do with it, my

dear sir, than your wife has or l have.

You still owe me twenty pounds and

you are not in the position to repay

if it was in the middle of a heat wave

on August bank holiday. Good afternoon.

"Holy infant so tender and mild,"

"Sleep in heavenly peace."

Be off with you!

Well.

Have l the pleasure of addressing

Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?

Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years.

ln fact, he died seven years ago

this very day.

Well, we have no doubt that his

generosity is well represented

by his...surviving partner.

At this festive season of the year,

Mr. Scrooge,

it is more than usually desirable that

we should make some slight provision

for the poor and destitute.

Are there no prisons?

Plenty of prisons.

And the union work houses,

are they still in operation?

They are.

l wish l could say they were not.

And the Treadmill and the Poor Law,

they're still in full vigor, l presume?

Both very busy, Sir.

Oh, from what you said at first

l was afraid that something had happened

to stop them in their useful course.

l'm very glad to hear it.

l don't think you quite

understand us, Sir.

A few of us are endeavoring to raise a

fund to buy the poor some meat and drink

and means of warmth.

Why?

Because it is at Christmas time, that want

is most keenly felt.

and abundance rejoices.

Uh, what can l put you down for?

Ha! ... nothing.

You wish to be anonymous?

l wish to be left alone.

Since you ask me what l wish, Sir,

that is my answer.

l helped to support the establishments

l have mentioned.

Those who are badly off must go there.

Many can't go there.

And some would rather die.

lf they would rather die,

they'd better do it

and decrease the surplus population.

Besides, it's not my business.

lsn't it, Sir?

No.

lt is enough for a man to

understand his own business

without interfering with other peoples',

mine occupies me constantly.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Who's that?

Your nephew, Uncle.

lt's you, is it?

Well, what do you want?

Neither to borrow money

or beg a mortgage, Uncle.

Only to wish you a Merry Christmas!

Keep Christmas in your own way

and leave me to keep it in mine.

But you don't keep it!

And let me leave it alone then.

Much good may it do you to keep it.

Much good it has ever done you.

lt's certainly done me no harm.

No, your wayward nature has done that.

And your marriage.

My marriage was the making of me.

The ruin of you, you mean.

Why don't you come and see for yourself,

if you won't take my word for it.

Come and dine with us tomorrow.

No... thank you.

But why? ... Why?

Why do you marry against my wishes?

Because l fell in love.

You fell in love.

With a woman as penniless as yourself.

Oh, good evening, Nick.

We've never had any quarrel

that l've ever been party to.

l ask nothing of you.

l came here in the spirit of bright good

will and l won't let you dampen it.

So a Merry Christmas to you

any way, Uncle.

Good evening.

And a Happy New Year.

- Good Evening!

Humbug!

How is Mrs. Cratchit and

all the small assorted Cratchits?

Very well, Sir. Thank you.

All chomping at the bit for

Christmas to begin, eh?

Oh yes, Sir, all very eager.

And the little lame boy.

Which one is he?

Tim, Sir.

That's right. How is he?

We're in high hopes

he's getting better, Sir.

Good.

A Merry Christmas to you.

Thank you, Sir, and a

Merry Christmas to you, Sir, l'm sure.

Thank you.

Come along Tim, my dear, l've got to go.

Did you have a lovely time

looking at all the wonderful things?

Yes, thank you, Ma-ma.

Did you get the big goose?

lt's the biggest goose you ever did see.

As big as you and as fat as a beagle.

Wait 'til your father sees it.

His eyes will pop right out of his

head and he'll forget all about

horrid old Mr. Scrooge.

You're not feeling too tired are you, dear?

Not a bit, Ma-ma!

lf your father was here, he'd

carry you home on his shoulder.

Yes, I love having a ride on his shoulder!

l suspect ol' Mr. Scooge will keep him

working in that cold little room

just as late as he possibly can.

Christmas Eve or no Christmas Eve,

the old Ogre.

You want the whole day off

tomorrow, l suppose?

lf quite convenient, Sir?

- lt's not convenient!

And it's not fair.

lf l stopped you half-a-crown for it,

you'd think yourself ill-used,

wouldn't you? Hmm!?

But you don't think me ill-used,

if l pay a day's wages for no work,

do you? Hmph!?

'Tis only once a year, Sir.

That's a poor excuse for picking a

man's pocket every 25th of December.

Yes, Sir. l'm sure. l'm very sorry, Sir, to

cause you such an inconvenience.

lt's the family more than me, Sir.

They put their hearts into Christmas

as it were, Sir.

Yes, and put their hands into my pockets

as it were, Sir.

l suppose you better have the whole day.

But be back all the earlier

the next morning.

l will indeed, Sir! Thank you, Sir!

lt's more than generous of you, Sir.

Yes, l know it is. You don't have to tell me.

Merry Christmas, Sir!

A Merry Christmas, Sir?

You, a clerk on fifteen shillings a week,

with a wife and a family,

talking about a Merry Christmas. Ha ha.

l'll retire to bedlam.

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