Seachd: The Inaccessible Pinnacle Page #2

- Weakling!

- Say that again!

Stop that, or I'll throw both of you

into the sea!

No you wouldn't.

Trust me, Aonghas, I would.

You're just PlayStation sailors, anyway.

I thought we'd get out

to the shipwreck today.

The shipwreck?

The wreck from the Spanish Armada.

My friend's been to Tenerife.

"My friend's been to Tenerife. "

Tenerife isn't in Spain!

It belongs to Spain, idiot!

She went there on a boat.

I'm not talking about little tourist boats,

but great ships with sails and tall masts.

Many of them never made it back

to Spain, poor souls!

But there was a ship...

Ach, you don't want to hear about that!

We do!

Well, the ship sinking

wasn't quite the start of the story.

There was a man,

a proud and hungry man.

He was a MacDonald,

exiled to a remote island,

an island that even the fish didn't go near.

An island with no way to escape.

Now he could have eaten the Spaniard,

but he spied something much tastier.

Ship's biscuits!

Bos'un, take that man's name!

What did you do that for, animal?

The pudding, give me the pudding!

Maracas?

What are you on about, barbarian?

Give me the pudding!

No, no! Idiot!

Come back here, idiot!

No, no, no!

Give me that pudding!

I want the pudding!

No, no!

Voil! Seaweed, potatoes and

the pice de rsistance... black pudding!

What's this?

- Potato.

- Potato.

No... potato.

Potato.

Potato, potato... whatever!

They were like an old married couple,

but, it must be said,

a very lucky old married couple.

- Gold!

- Gold!

- Gold! Gold!

- Gold!

Gold!

We're as rich

as the dirty great King of Spain.

Did he really say that?

Aye, something like that.

But they soon realised

that all the gold in Mexico

wouldn't have helped them at all.

Because you can't eat gold?

Exactly, Aonghas!

And they kept not eating gold,

until one day MacDonald had a brainwave.

Genius! You're a genius!

Idiot! You're an idiot!

Off you go, then!

I know how to paddle!

Off you go then, idiot!

MacDonald wore

the Spaniard's shirt for luck.

But a lucky shirt it was not.

Damn you! Let me out!

While MacDonald languished in jail,

the Spaniard waited patiently.

Aw, no!

I'm not going to spend

the rest of my life here,

with the crabs picking over my bones... no!

Finally, he ended everything

with the utmost dignity.

Black pudding! Black pudding!

I'm a good-looking genius! I've got it!

Yes! Yes!

My darlings!

When MacDonald was finally released,

his first thought was to steal a boat

and save his friend.

Stop! What are you doing?

You! But how did you get off the island?

I walked.

What?

I cunningly used the gold

to weigh my body down

and walked along the seabed,

periodically drawing air

from inflatable black pudding skins!

Stop! Stop! Stop! I've heard enough!

Do you have the gold?

- Gold?

- Oh, yes! I have your share. 25/.

A quarter!

If you got me off the island. But you didn't.

So it's 25/.

Daylight robbery!

After risking my life to save you!

OK, OK.

As they say, better a friend in court

than a penny in your sporran.

Come on! Let's go!

Do you want any potatoes?

I have some for you.

Potatoes! I've thought of little else.

I wonder what they'd be like fried?

Fried! Fried! For the love of God,

what is it with you people and fried food?

And some people say he was the first man

in the world to open a chip shop!

- Chip shop?

- Aye.

You've heard of McDonald's, haven't you?

Anyway, there's only one way

to teach you lot.

Do you know what way that is?

The Spanish way.

Adis, amigos!

Come on! We have to go after him!

Get a move on!

What a shame I didn't stay on dry land

It's the truth. I'm no sailor

For as long as I live I'll never sail again!

High time, too!

Get inside!

We're going to have a ceilidh, Peggy dear.

The surge of the sea

Listen to the sound of the high surge

The roar of the ocean,

just as I heard it when a child

And when it's time for me to rest

in death's cold sleep

Make my bed

beside the sound of the high surge

You must be Donnchadh.

No, my name is Aonghas.

Aonghas. Can I come in?

Why have you come here?

Perhaps we should talk. Alone.

If you have something to say,

you should say it to all of us.

Right.

This isn't easy.

I wanted to tell you what happened,

so that you'd know.

Everything went wrong.

The weather was dreadful. Freezing cold.

Everything went wrong.

- Are you sure this is the right time?

- Let him speak.

We'd reached the top.

I went down first, to secure the rope.

My hands were so cold, you see.

When I got to the bottom,

the rock was so slippery underfoot that I fell.

I tried to grab something, anything.

But my hands were frozen.

I'd given...

I wish to God I hadn't.

The most stupid thing I've ever done.

The smallest mistake.

I had given your father my gloves.

- If I hadn't done that...

- Get out!

- All I did was say what happened.

- Liar!

I have his gloves! Murderer!

That's enough, Aonghas!

How can you let him lie?

He murdered them!

Go to your room now!

- And you, get out!

- I'm sorry!

A thousand curses

on the eyes that saw

Stop that, Aonghas!

A thousand curses

on the ears that heard

Aonghas, stop!

What's he doing?

Stop that, Aonghas! Go to your room now!

And you, go!

- Has he eaten anything?

- No.

- Shouldn't we call the doctor?

- No.

Don't worry, he'll be all right.

Tell him about Sleas.

He won't listen.

Tell him it's his granny's story.

He'll eat. I'll make him.

You look after yourself.

I'll look after Aonghas.

Dinner!

Leave it!

Eat up!

Can I get his chips?

No! Eat up!

I only asked.

Grandad, will you tell us a story?

No. Not now, Miri.

I want to hear the story about Sleas.

Who's Sleas?

A girl that wouldn't listen.

No,

but a girl that didn't care

about the one thing that you should...

life.

But she cared about horses, didn't she?

I don't think so.

Oh, she could ride a horse like Perseus,

but she only cared

about what they could do for her.

When the biggest race of her life came up,

she lacked one thing.

A horse.

There was a horse here.

Does it please you?

I need a horse. For a race.

You could win any race

with a horse like that,

but there is a price.

I can pay you.

If you but knew,

that is not what you would wish.

You'll get half the prize if I win.

You'll give me all of it.

I cannot.

If you give me all of it, you will win.

If you do not, you will not win.

You can have all of it, then.

Where's the horse?

Come here at dawn.

The horse will be here and you will win.

Sleas! Where are you going?

I have work to do.

Go back inside!

We're not the landlord's slaves.

But it's not for him.

- Who, then?

- Me!

But Sleas wouldn't listen to anyone,

not even her mother.

You're mine now!

Stop!

Stop!

Aonghas!

Aonghas!

Aonghas! Grandad wants you

to come down.

You really should come down.

Aonghas, downstairs with you.

Come on now, lad.

Aonghas!

Are you listening to me?

I have listened to you, Grandad!

I've listened to every story in this book.

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