Secret Agent Page #2

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- Of course I did, don't be silly.

The part that concern you says...

I'm making you a married man

to round off you new character.

What else does it say?

Your wife comes a fighting stock.

A regular fighting time factor.

I look to you to direct her in

the right channel.

Be as canuvial as possible.

"Yours, R."

"What does canuvial mean?"

Luxurious.

What does that mean?

Speak English.

Affectionate. In a big way.

So, what do you think of your new

husband?

I'm incredibly surprised.

- Thank you.

I've read your books for so many

years, I thought you were older.

I'm glad about it, that's all.

That's very kind of you.

What do you think of me?

I don't know. I'll tell you when

you finish putting on your face.

Why did you really take this job?

I wanted to do it.

Well, you might have been a nurse

or something.

Me? I'm no ministering Angel.

I'm in Switzerland for a thrill.

- Think I'm gonna give it to you?

No. You're the means to an end.

- The end? Being?

Excitement, Big risks, Danger.

Maybe being a little...

This sort of thing maybe not as

amusing as you think.

Look, let's understand

each other.

Dozens of people have come here

to do something worthwhile...

...There's no use of you standing

there looking middle aged and...

...bleeding about safety...

- All right, all right.

How do we start?

"I suppose R told you why we're"

here for.

A little. He said you'd tell me

the rest.

Hello.

- How did you get here?

My dear friend. How do you do?

Ashenden! Where have you been all

the time? I haven't seen you...

Yes, yes. Take it easy, General.

How did you get in?

I was sitting on door all the

time, but...

...And I was knocking and barking

but you did not hear.

Too busy in company of beautiful

woman... Lady... Girl...

You know this man, do you?

I believe he's a swindler. He

followed me around the hotel...

...trying to show me some silly

trick with pennies.

Very nice trick.

Your wife?

- How do you know she's my wife?

How do I? Very simple.

Passports in table.

Each one inside each other one.

Just like no other.

- You know him?

Of course I do. He's one of our

colleagues, aren't you General?

General Pompeliu Moctezuma de la

Bella del Conde y de Lonbus...

...as I said before.

I may as well tell you at once

that this lady is not my wife.

Then what?

She has been issued officially to

"me by our old man R."

Issued? What do you mean?

Issued like a passport?

"Or you mean given to you? "

This is too much.

And who has given her to you?

Will you tell me who?

"Maybe perhaps it's R!"

"This R Foul! Merde!"

Incompetent man!

It's awful! This is too much!

For you beautiful woman!

And what for me?! Nothing!

Nobody! Nothing!

Caramba! Caramba!

For you all this!

And nothing for me!

No, no, no.

I resign.

Brodie was a Bachelor, that's why

Ashenden has to be married.

It makes it much safer,

that's all.

This girl has been issued to me

as part as my disguise.

I resign.

She's nothing to me. I'm nothing

to her. Can't you understand?

Maybe perhaps this lie is true?

Well, of course it's true.

What do you mean?

Maybe in this case, affection of

beautiful lady are free for me?

Absolutely, as far as I'm

concerned.

Can't you do anything about it?

Do I look like I enjoy tricks?

General, no love making...

We can't afford to take risks.

The Swiss Police will be on us

in no time.

We have to move on.

What have you done since you got

here, anyway?

I am too much of a gentleman to

tell this in front of lady.

I dare say.

Let me remind you we're here for

a purpose. We start tomorrow.

Our first job is in a village in

the mountains called Langenthal.

In Langenthal there's a church.

In that church we'll find the

"organist who R says is been..."

...working for the Germans but

is now on our side.

When we get in touch with him...

He'll put us on the track to

find the man we're after.

What do I do?

Nothing. You stay here and wait

in case there's a phone call.

Thank you. That should be a good

start.

Mind removing your friend so I

can go on with my dressing?

Go on, General.

Well?

- Well?

How does Mrs. Ashenden look now?

This has all been done for your

special benefit.

Very kind of you, I'm sure.

You're fond of yourself, aren't

you?

Married life has began.

All right. Shout about that as

much as you like.

You've a job to do, and part of

it is to keep it secret...

...no matter what happens.

What do we do?

Light three candles over there.

He'll see us in his mirror.

Do you know any prayers?

Do not incite me, please.

I know some, so do you?

Put those back, you foul.

This floor makes my beautiful

legs very angry.

We better look out. He might be

waiting on the other side.

Strangled.

Nice work.

Neat. Very neat.

Someone did not want us to speak

to him.

That's what it looks like,

doesn't it?

Look.

- What's that?

Not so neat after all.

Big struggle before he died.

Me, better. Much better.

The man who owns this, is the man

who killed him.

Yes, Sir. He is also the man we

are looking for.

You're right. That's the motive.

One way of stopping a fellow's

mouth.

Look, someone's coming.

We'll have to stay up here for

hours!

I said, we shall have to stay up

here for hours!

But your wife shall wonder what

happened to her little General!

Let's do stay a little longer.

- All right.

I've always wanted to come to

Switzerland. The people are nice.

Yes, specially Charlie, there.

Hey, Fred...

Do you mind moving up a bit so we

can see the scenery?

Oh, no, don't. It's nice.

Are those your own teeth?

Course they are. Don't be silly.

I bet yours aren't.

Well, I never thought you'd look.

Wait a minute.

Do you mind holing them for me?

You're so disgusting.

Look at that nose.

Bet if you squeezed it you'd get

a quarter of whiskey out of it.

Sam, or George... Whatever...

Give me some smoke. Will you?

Smoke.

Voulez-vous...

He's fond of you.

I was afraid of that.

No, you don't understand...

Cigar... Cigaruchen.

Compris.

What is this strange bond you

have over coachmen?

No mystery, lady. Just a well

equipped man in every language.

Bad language.

- Why you...

Man paralyzed when about to

strike woman.

What's the matter? Winned?

No, love.

- Again?

Why not?

Speaking of love...

You think your bow legged husband

would mind if I kissed you?

He's not bow legged!

I'll call the police!

He's too bow legged.

If you don't let me kiss you,

mind if I bite your adam's apple?

Speaking of your husband, if you

keep defending him like that...

...the idea might get around that

you love him.

I think I do.

How long has this been going on?

- Since yesterday.

Yesterday? That's defying after

the way you flung yourself at me.

Oh, I'll call the Police...

Home, James. I mean, the casino.

Can you play the...

Diablos, she's not in dinning

room.

Where can she be?

I don't know.

What's the matter with you?

I'm still blind in this ear.

All right, all right. Calm down.

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