Secrets of a Psychopath

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1

Have you come to play with us?

There are many games we can play.

My name is Henry.

And my sister there is

Catherine.

Would you like to dance with us?

A tisket, a tasket,

A green and yellow basket

I wrote a letter to my love

and on the way I dropped it

I dropped it, I dropped it

And on the way I dropped it I

dropped it, I dropped it...

Ring around the rosies

Pockets full of posies

Ashes, ashes

We all fall down.

You must be Henry.

You're Grace?

Yes.

I'm sorry you didn't call me

from the airport

so I could pick you up in the

car.

Oh. Oh. Please.

So... when is the wedding?

Tomorrow.

Unless... you'd like to wait.

No, no. Tomorrow's fine.

You sure?

You're not sorry, are you?

If-if you want to change your

mind then I can just... go.

No. No, I don't want to change

my mind at all.

You're disappointed, aren't you?

I'm not what you thought I'd

be, am I?

Why would you say something

like that?

I'm not disappointed.

I'm very happy. Really.

I hope that you're pleased

with everything.

I want you to be happy.

I mean, with your room and all.

And I really should have told

you about Catherine.

You did not know I had a sister.

Oh, no. It's all right.

I mean, I'm very pleased

that you're going to be living

with us, Catherine.

Well, if you two would like me

to move...

No, of course not.

This is your home.

But maybe Henry and I could

find another place?

This is half my house, Grace.

We-we could find something

smaller.

Even a one-bedroom apartment

would be fine.

This place is so large and...

Old. Very old.

Our parent's honeymooned here.

It's lovely. But

Grace.

This is going to be our home.

Now and forever.

I don't want to leave.

I need you to understand that

before the wedding.

Maybe you could give us a

moment?

I've never seen such a

beautiful album.

I don't think there's anything

of much importance

from my childhood that wasn't

photographed

and mounted in one of those

albums.

Why do you suppose we do that?

Do you think we were trying to

hold back time

by capturing the moment with

pictures?

Well, I think that

Or maybe it was our way of

becoming immortal.

I think you'd like to see your

room..

I hope that someday you can

forget how we became engaged.

I mean, how we met and all.

What are you trying to say?

Well, I have a feeling that

you don't respect me

because I had to find a husband

through those computer people.

No. I mean, what about me?

I went on that website too,

didn't I? To meet you?

I was wondering where the

ceremony is going to...

I mean, are we going to be

married here?

At the house?

No. At the Justice of the

Peace.

I'd like to... have a more

formal wedding,

but we don't have many friends.

To invite, that is.

In fact, we don't have many

friends at all.

Oh. Well that's all right.

I understand.

The Justice of the Peace is

fine.

You know something?

We haven't I mean, you

haven't...

Haven't what?

Nothing.

It must have been something.

You'll think I'm silly.

Tell me.

It's just that...

you haven't... kissed me yet.

You really better unpack this.

Oh..

You look sick.

What's wrong? What's the

matter?

You're shy.

Is that it?

You don't have to be bashful.

We're practically married.

Would you like me to put that

on?

Is that it?

That is what it is, isn't it?

You'd love to see me in this

filmy, seductive gown.

Of course you would. Well,

come on.

You can help me undress.

What's wrong? What is it?

What's-what's the matter?

Do you, Henry, in the presence

of these witnesses,

take Grace to be your lawful

wedded wife?

To have and to hold from this

day forward for better,

for worse, for richer,

for poorer, in sickness and in

health?

To love and to cherish 'til

death do us part?

I take you, Grace, to be my

lawful wedded wife.

To have and to hold from this

day forward for better,

for worse, for richer,

for poorer, in sickness and in

health.

To love and to cherish 'til

death do us part.

I now pronounce you both man

and wife.

You may kiss the bride now,

Henry.

More of the same, Henry.

Right?

You're a real b*tch, you know

that?

Come on.

I just hate to see them all end

up in your little photo album.

But you enjoy helping me,

don't you?

You're great with Ring around

the Rosie.

Why don't you go back in her

room and f*** yourself?

That's all you're ever going

to be good at.

F*** you.

Once there was a Scotsman

His name was Johnny Rebek

He was a dealer in sausages

And sauerkraut and speck

He made the finest sausages

that ever you would see

And one day he invented a

wonderful sausage machine

Oh, Mister Johnny Rebek how

could you be so mean...

You didn't tell me there were

children!

Henry? Open the door!

Please, open the door!

Henry?

You're terrifying me!

It's playtime! Oh, goody!

Silly old Gordon fell in the

ditch

Fell in the ditch, fell in the

ditch

Silly old Gordon fell in the

ditch

All on a Monday morning!

The merry-go-round goes 'round

and 'round

The children laughed and

laughed and laughed

So many children going 'round

and 'round

The merry-go-round collapsed

Little Catherine and Little

Henry

The itshy-bitsy spider went

up the water spout

Down came the rain and washed

the spider out

Out came the sun and dried up

all the rain

And the itshy-bitsy spider went

up the spout again.

Catherine?

Yeah?

Sometimes it depresses me...

looking forward to getting

married and having to...

You know how I feel about what

you're trying to do.

It's the only way I can

resolve my problem.

Now I'm sure that it will help

me remember what it is

that happened in my past that

screwed up my ability to...

Have sex?

Hasn't exactly been successful,

has it?

Could it be that you're a

little jealous?

I am thinking of your own good.

Hm. You do take very good care

of me.

It's so nice to be appreciated.

I'll do better with the next

girl.

Yeah.

I'm sure you will.

Oh, Mr. Johnny Rebek how

could you be so mean?

I'm telling you you'll be sorry

for inventing that machine.

Sometimes I think it has to do

with them.

All the neighbor's cats and

dogs will nevermore be seen...

The children... For they'll

be ground

to sausages in Johnny Rebek's

machine.

But you could help me with that.

You could help me remember.

You could help me remember

what it is that f***ed me up.

I was a real estate agent

before the bottom dropped out

of the housing market.

How about you?

Hey, I just thought of

something...

Bye.

Hm.

Catherine?

I have a really good vibe

about this new one.

After all this time,

I finally think I found the one that

will make it happen.

Genine, right?

Nice to meet you, Henry.

Harold's already waiting over

at the house.

I thought it'd be a nicer

atmosphere to discuss business

over a glass of wine.

Oh. My car?

Oh. Um... don't worry about it.

I'll bring you back after the

meeting. Please.

I've never been to Bedford

before.

You never answered that question

I asked you about what you do.

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