See No Evil, Hear No Evil

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1

Move your car, you jerk!

What do you want from my life?

- Are you f***ing deaf? Move!

- Get out of the way!

You deaf? Look behind you!

You're blocking traffic!

Get off the street!

What do you want me

to do? Tell him!

You dumb idiot!

I'm turning here, you idiot!

Where you from, Oshkosh?

Idiot!

Watch your step.

You're a dumb idiot!

Talking to me?

You are a dumb idiot!

- You talking to me?

- Wally, don't start anything.

The man's got something to say.

Up yours!

I heard that song before.

Anything to get off your chest?

Tell me who you're talking to.

No, say one more word. One more f***ing word.

Come on!

- You dumb a**hole!

- Hey, nice move!

Come on! You don't show me sh*t!

Who are you fighting this time?

Wally! Wally, stop it!

Stop it!

Come on. Come on.

Going up. Step up.

F*** you.

Going down.

Why do you feel you have to pass for someone

with 20/20 vision when you're blind?

I don't feel I have to pass.

You do.

It's a sickness, like if you

were trying to pass for white.

You mean I'm not white?

Oh, sit down.

This is a scandal!

I'm not white?!

Why didn't you tell me before?

You're my own sister!

Sit down, Wally.

Goodness! A lot of

adjustments have to be made.

Cancel the swimming lessons.

What'll the guys at the club say?

I'm not white!

Oh, it feels like it.

Ha, ha. Aah!

Goodness, you're right!

Lord, help me.

Does Dad know?

Twenty dollars across the board on Centipede.

Thank you very much.

Oh, just a minute.

You said that was all.

But I want my 50.

You know how much

you owe that bookie?

I don't want a lecture. Give me my $50.

This is the last $50

to your name, Wally.

I know, but $50, please.

Three minutes until post time.

Three minutes until post time.

And $50 to win on Centipede.

Come on, Centipede!

You can do it!

Come on! Come on!

Come on!

You can do it!

Come on, you b*tch!

Who won?

It wasn't Centipede.

Sh*t!

You shouldn't have quit your job!

The man treated me like I was blind.

So try someone else!

You can't go on like this, Wally.

Get another job.

Mr. Lyons!

What's the matter with me?

Uh...

Mr. Lyons, the fire inspector

wants you to pick up papers.

Much dangerous. Big fire.

You must please sweep up

before you close the shop.

Mr. Huddelston, there's a vicious

rumor going around that I'm deaf.

I don't like it.

It's very humiliating.

Let's try and put a stop to it.

Oh, I feel like such a fool.

That inspector?

Don't worry about him.

He's always coming around

trying to get bribes.

You don't read lips?

They told me you had to read my lips.

I feel like an ass.

Especially on the last Thursday

of every month.

Sorry.

I can't make a left turn.

I'll have to swing around the block.

Whoa. You're not parking anywhere.

Slow down and just pull over

here by the curb.

What are you talking about?

I'm not a baby. I don't need a babysitter.

Just point me

in the right direction.

Point you? Are you crazy?

Yes.

Take your cane or you

won't make it across.

No. Put the cane...

What is...? Put it down.

I can hear, can't I?

All I need is Big Mo.

I want to see this.

Here.

Thank you.

Good luck with the job.

Excuse me, sir.

Nice day, isn't it?

So far, so good.

I'll pick you up

in front of the building.

Remember, wait for the beeps.

Wait for the beeps.

Yeah, wait for the beep.

I will. Thank you.

What?

Would you help me across?

Yeah, uh, take my arm.

Here we go.

Hey, sis, how am I doing?

Great. Just great.

Thank you very much.

You don't have to thank me, sir.

After all, this to me

is just fun.

Like a walk in the park.

Here you are. If you get

in any trouble, just holler.

Can I help you?

I'm here about the ad in the paper.

"Salesman wanted.

Must have sense of humor."

Are you the owner

of the shop, sir?

Who are you talking to?

Oh, there you are. Damn.

Look at that. Contacts again.

See that?

Oh.

I'm looking for Mr. David Lyons.

I'm David Lyons.

Pleased to meet you. Oh, I'm sorry.

I read your ad in the paper

about an lvy League type.

Tall, dark, handsome.

Three out of four ain't bad, right?

You can see I'm nervous.

Really want the job.

But I am a damned good salesman.

I'm David Lyons.

What can I do for you?

Uh-oh. Ooh. Heh.

Are we caught in a time warp here?

Twilight Zone, maybe?

Any Martians here who want to speak to Mr. David Lyons?

Ha, ha. You're a funny guy.

I really like that ad you put in the paper.

"Must have a sense of humor."

Not many people would do that.

I'm your guy.

If you want me, here I am.

Would you tell me what you want.

Three-fifty.

What are you talking about?!

Three hundred, but that's it.

Are you talking to me?

225!

Listen, man, $225 a week.

200. I can't live on less than that.

Who are you talking to?

I'm talking to you, you prick!

What do you say?

Look me in the eye and say that.

I would if I could,

but I can't. I'm blind.

You're blind?

Yes. Now can I have the job?

I had no idea. I'm sorry.

Now you know.

Can I get the job?

You're really blind?

Yes. What are you, f***ing deaf?

Yes! I'm f***ing deaf!

Deaf?

Yes, I'm deaf.

You really deaf?

I'm really deaf.

How do you know what I'm saying?

I'm reading your lips.

Do you want the job or don't you?

Because I'm blind?

Shove it up your ass, pal.

I don't want no favors.

Then go home! Get out!

Give me some peace of mind.

To hell with blind people!

Just walk out.

That's better.

Now, I believe we agreed on 300.

300 what?

What are we talking about?

Just a minute, hold everything.

Stop the music.

Do you like Harvey Wallbangers?

Harvey who?

Wallbangers. A friend of mine.

I'll introduce you to it later.

Because tonight, my friend,

we celebrate!

Not bad.

Did I hit the board?

No, you hit the wall. It's a lot better.

Three Wallbangers, Wally.

Drink time.

Where's your friend?

Oh, he's coming. Should be here soon.

You're gonna like him.

This is to you, Sally. Sally?

Here.

Oh. And to you, Leslie.

Thanks for buying the drinks.

My pleasure.

What's your friend look like?

I've never seen him,

but he smells real good.

I think he's by the door.

Dave!

Dave, yo!

Hi.

Dave!

Over here!

Hello, I'm here.

Hi.

Dave.

I want you to meet friends

of mine.

This is Sally.

Hi.

How do you do?

Nice to meet you.

And this lovely lady

to my left here, this is Lisa.

Leslie. Hi.

Leslie, hi.

And this is my good friend,

David Lyons.

Wally says you're forming

a business together.

Congratulations.

Wally says what?

Whoa. Let's not talk about that now.

Let's talk about Harvey Wallbanger.

That's who you want me to meet?

Yeah! Bartender.

Hey, a**hole.

Who do you think you are?

David Lyons.

You must be Harvey Wallbanger. Wally's told me about you.

Yeah, real comedian.

Get off my jacket!

Listen, asswipe.

You watch yourself or you're gonna be going home early.

I didn't know I was

standing on your jacket.

What are you, the constable?

Who's your girlfriend?

Oh. Heh. I think I heard

my mating call. Stand up.

- I am standing.

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