Seems Like Old Times Page #6

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You brought chicken and beer out

to me and Charlie last night.

We're much obliged.

Oh, the chicken and the beer.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Awfully nice of you. Okay, just

watch that sign next time.

- You bet I will.

- Just one other thing, ma'am.

- Why is that man

lying on the floor?

That man.

- Oh, that man!

- Yes, ma'am.

- Why is that man

lying on the floor?

- Yes, he's fine.

What happened?

- He was, um

- Hit.

- He was hit!

- They ran.

- And then he ran.

- They ran.

They ran.

Uh, they hit him and ran.

Yeah, the car came and

hit him and ran.

- No, I came late.

Uh, no, he went in

to get my breakfast

and I pulled him in myself.

I, of course, will represent

him as his attorney.

Can I have your name, please?

Friedlander.

Harris J. Friedlander,

from Oxnard.

- Designer.

We carve the heads of

presidents out of driftwood.

We employ mostly veterans

and the handicapped.

OFFICER:
Do you have

any identification?

- No, they They mugged me.

- They mugged you.

- After they hit me.

- Did you get the make of the car or the license number?

I didn't have a chance. I

was up and down so quickly.

I really think we should

get him to the hospital.

Didn't you say you were

rushing to get to court?

After. After the hospital.

You better follow us.

We'll make better time.

- Stick to my tail.

- Right. Over and out.

- Don't ask me any questions. You'll be better off.

- Yes, ma'am.

(CAR STARTING

AND SIREN WAILING)

Hot damn, I finally get

a chance to chase the police!

That bacon was

a little well done.

Is that all that's worrying you

I must be crazy.

Disbarment. Disbarment and

disgrace are all that lies ahead.

That, and a big truck.

- I don't think we'll know

for a few minutes yet.

- Chester!

Okay.

You want to hear my plan?

No. I want you out of my life.

That's part of the plan. I kidnap you,

we lose the cops at the next corner.

I dump the both of you off, I steal

the car and you're in the clear.

How you gonna kidnap us, if

I'm the one driving the car.

- 'Cause I'm holding the gun.

- I buy that.

Turn left at

the next corner, Chet.

Don't listen to him, Chester.

Nick, Nick,

please give yourself up.

If you're innocent, they'll

never send you to jail.

- Is that how it works, Chester.

- Not in my neighborhood.

- Then turn here.

- If you turn, Chester, you're fired.

If you don't turn, I fire.

There's no bullets in it,

Chester. Trust me.

You're gonna trust a woman who

just lied to the police, Chester?

I want a raise.

I definitely want a raise.

Giving escort to a Mrs. Ira

Parks, license number

Where in the hell did they go?

- NICK:
Stop right here.

I think I'm two inches shorter.

Okay. Get out of the car.

Come on, kids. Move.

Planning on coming along?

We never really did finish

that honeymoon, you know.

Nick, why are you doing this?

Why do you behave this way?

Oh, I don't know.

Ever since I was a kid,

I've had this wild and crazy

desire never to go to jail.

Bye, Glen.

One more little one?

Are you sure you'll be able

to drive with that shoulder?

Are you kidding? A vehicle wasn't

built that I can't handle.

Where were you? I've been trying to get

you on your car radio for 20 minutes.

You should've tried smoke signals.

The Indians stole my car.

Indians?

- My wife's Indians.

- Her car was just stolen, too.

Who did it?

- Her ex-husband.

She reported it?

- No, she was in it.

With him?

He was lying on the floor in the back.

She was kidnapped at gunpoint

and later let go.

- The chauffeur verified it.

A convicted felon who stole the

hubcaps off six limousines

during a funeral service.

He verified it?

You know what the Governor's doing

right now, at this very moment?

He's telling his secretary

not to accept my calls.

Wrong. He's been trying to get

you on the phone for 20 minutes.

Don't accept his calls.

And you expect me to believe

they just borrowed this car?

Yes, your honor.

I had no objection.

And have these two young men

found gainful employment?

Yes, they're currently doing

odd jobs for me at home.

"Odd" seems to be

the appropriate word.

The next time they borrow your husband's

car, please tell your husband about it.

- I don't want to see these two young men in here again.

- Yes, Your Honor.

Case dismissed.

- Thanks, Mrs. Parks.

- Keep out of trouble.

Next case.

Rosita Sanchez and

Conchita Velasquez.

- I represent these women, your honor.

- Naturally.

- I'm also their employer.

- Of course.

Mrs. Parks, I have a son who's

looking for a job this summer.

Maybe you have

something for him.

Well, if he gets into trouble,

have him call me.

Want us to pick you up

in the morning, Mr. Parks?

No, I see my car

is back in the garage.

But I'll check with you

just in case.

- Good night.

- All right, thank you.

Stop it! Stop it!

It's me, for Christ sake!

Why didn't you bark

when they took my car?

Hi. Wanna talk about it?

Why don't you have

a glass of wine, relax,

get into bed, and I'll

tell you the whole story.

He was here last night.

Wasn't he, Glenda? Where

- Over the garage. In the spare room.

- The spare room. Of course.

Why didn't you

invite him up here?

We only had six dogs on the bed.

We could have squeezed him in.

He was injured.

He could hardly walk.

He was cold, he was starved

and he was innocent.

And he needed some help and I was

the only person he could turn to.

You're the only person anyone

can turn to. Except me.

Ira Ira, that's not true.

I'm always here for you.

You come first with me, Ira.

You know that.

- I'm here for you now. Now,

where is he, under the bed?

- I don't know where he is.

- I swear.

- I'm telling you the truth.

- Really.

- Maybe sometimes I get a little crazy.

- I know.

- Overreact a little. You know, something like this

- I know.

Where was he Where was he this morning

when we were up in the spare room?

He was under the bed.

No wonder you want me

to have a glass of wine.

This might be a good time for

me to get into heavy drugs.

Where are you going?

It's my turn to sleep

in the spare room.

- Let go of me, damn it!

It's me!

Get out of the way!

- Hello.

- Not a wink.

- Why don't you bring the wine over?

- We don't have time

to go on vacation.

Why don't we take one up here?

Isn't the bed kind of small?

Not for me.

I'll be right over.

Peace?

I'm sorry if I hurt you.

Don't be silly. I guess I just

wanted a little attention.

- Well, you got it.

Glad I never faced you in court,

especially in that black nightgown.

It's nice and cold.

- I'm just the opposite.

Whoo! There's not much

room here, sir.

You can trust me.

I grew up in a Volkswagen.

Oh, sh*t!

I'm sorry.

- I'm fine. I'm fine.

Come on. I'll move over.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Let me think a minute.

- About what to do.

What to do? There's nothing to do.

I'll do it all.

- No, No! Ira, not here! No.

What's wrong with here?

- Let's go.

Uh, I don't know. I can't

I can't relax.

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