Senior Year Page #2

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All Seth hears is handjoes. He fumbles with a beaker,

catching it just before it falls off the table.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

Yeah, another bad grade is gonna

kill my GPA. I’ll probably be stuck

in this town forever.

7.

SETH:

Not on my watch. And my watch has

Dave Mustaine on it.

He flashes his Megadeath watch. He’s that clueless.

RUBY SUE:

I don’t know how to interpret that.

SETH:

Have no fear. Chem-master Seth is

here.

MOMENTS LATER:

Seth and Odie, sitting next to each other, working on the

assignment while...

RUBY SUE (O.S.)

Everybody’s eyes naturally go to

the top of the pyramid.

Ruby Sue and Brie sit together bullshitting.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

So I do this vogue thing then

transition into something like...

Hiyah! Sporty Spice.

Ruby throws a kick.

BRIE:

So much girl power.

The girls high five.

Seth works on the assignment while Odie brags.

ODIE:

See man? Chicks like these, they’re

begging for bad boys like us.

SETH:

Oh yeah, no doubt. Hey, can you

check my math on this?

Seth slides the paper over for Odie to check.

ODIE:

I mean, why should Blaine Barnes

get to finger pop these chicks?

What’s he got that we don’t?

(looking at the paper)

(MORE)

8.

ODIE (CONT'D)

No, see, this is wrong. It’s

supposed to be an isotope.

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY - LATER

Ruby Sue holds court at the cool kid table.

RUBY SUE:

What if I get my parents a ski trip

for their anniversary?

BRIE:

Awww.

RUBY SUE:

And when they’re gone I’ll throw

the most bitchin’ party ever.

As her friends laugh and high five, Ruby clocks...

TIFFANY walking toward their table. Ruby Sue deftly pops a

fresh stick of gum in her mouth before Tiffany arrives at the

empty seat next to her.

TIFFANY:

Hey, is anybody sitting here?

BRIE:

No.

Ruby shoots daggers at Brie.

RUBY SUE:

Yeah, but there’s gum on it.

Tiffany pulls the chair out and inspects it.

TIFFANY:

Really? I don’t see any...

Ruby Sue takes the fresh wad of gum out of her mouth and

presses it onto the seat.

RUBY SUE:

Sorry.

She turns her attention back to the table like nothing

happened. Tiffany stands there for a beat.

TIFFANY:

Can I talk to you for a second?

9.

RUBY SUE:

I’m kinda busy... eating lunch.

TIFFANY:

Because If I did something to you

or if I threaten you some how...

RUBY SUE:

You don’t threaten me.

TIFFANY:

So what’s the problem then?

Ruby stands up, ushering her away from the table as...

Blaine grabs a strawberry off her plate.

BLAINE:

Watch this. Skinny post. Deep

route. Right off O’Dell’s dome.

Gonna have to be a dime.

Blaine launches the strawberry across the cafeteria.

CAM:

That spiral is so tight!

Following its trajectory to...

SETH’S TABLE

Where the strawberry bounces off Odie’s face and does a

splash landing in Seth’s soup.

BLAINE (O.S.)

That’s good for six!

ODIE:

I’m gonna get that son of b*tch,

Blaine Barnes. Mark my words.

Seth tries to dry himself off.

ON RUBY SUE:

With Tiffany.

RUBY SUE:

Look at them - nerds, skeezers,

wannabees, weirdos. They all want a

seat at that table.

Ruby ushers her through the cafeteria.

10.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

But you know why none of them try

to sit there? Because they’re smart

enough to know they don’t belong.

Ruby Sue pulls a random seat out for Tiffany to sit on.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

So if you think you’re gonna sit at

my table then you need to wake up

and smell the teen spirit.

TIFFANY:

Is that how it’s gonna be?

Ruby shrugs.

RUBY SUE:

Everybody wants to be on top of the

pyramid, but how can it stand

without people on the bottom?

Ruby Sue walks away, leaving Tiffany glaring daggers.

INT. HARDING HIGH - AUDITORIUM - DAY

In close on a chubby face pleading for mercy. It’s GLENN from

chemistry class.

COOL KIDS (O.S.)

Tubs of blubs! Tubs of blubs!

Glenn clings to the side of bleachers as Blaine, Cam and

another COOL DUDE try to stuff him into the gap between the

bleachers and the wall known as “the crevasse”.

BLAINE:

Tubs of blubs going in the

crevasse!

GLENN:

Please! I’m afraid of the dark!

BLAINE:

I know, that’s why were trying to

help you get over your fear.

CAM:

He’s not gonna fit!

BLAINE:

Oh yeah, he is. Look at him, all

lubed up with sweat.

11.

Glenn’s chubby fingers slide off the ledge as Blaine’s foot

smushes his face into the darkness.

GLENN (O.S.)

Nooooo!

The cool kids laughter turns into another chant.

COOL KIDS:

Tubs of blubs! Tubs of blubs!

TIFFANY (O.S.)

I can’t believe you guys did that.

BLAINE:

Take it easy, we’re just having

some fun.

TIFFANY:

No, I mean, I can’t believe you

were able to pick him up! That was

awesome. You must be, like, the

strongest guy.

She flirtatiously touches his bicep.

BLAINE:

I know. I thought he was lying

about being afraid of the dark, but

the way he fought, man... I think

he really is.

Blaine and Cam high five.

RUBY SUE (O.S.)

Who’s afraid of the dark?

BLAINE:

Nobody. Just guy talk, babe.

He winks at Tiffany and gives Ruby Sue a kiss on the cheek.

RUBY SUE:

Hey! Did you just throw somebody

into the crevasse?

TIFFANY:

Uh... yeah and it was awesome.

RUBY SUE:

That’s so childish, Blaine.

12.

BLAINE:

Jesus, Ruby! Why can’t you just let

me be me! Everybody else does!

TIFFANY:

Yeah. Lighten up, Ruby Sue. Boys

will be boys.

Ruby Sue glares at her, furious. Seth, king of bad timing,

climbs the bleachers. Trying to act way cooler than he is.

SETH:

‘Sup dudes! Hey, Ruby Sue.

RUBY SUE:

(under her breath)

Oh God. Not this a**hole.

TIFFANY:

Who’s this guy, Ruby? Your new date

to the prom?

Seth takes the bait, offers his hand.

SETH:

Seth. Novacelik. But you can call

me chem-master Seth. Ruby does.

RUBY SUE:

I do not call him that!

GLENN (O.S.)

Seth? Is that you? You gotta get me

outta here, man.

Seth peers down into the crevasse.

SETH:

Glenn?

Blaine and his friends exchange a look. Ruby knows the score.

RUBY SUE:

Yeah, fine. Whatever.

Blaine and the boys dump Seth into the crevasse. He goes in

easy compared to Tubs of Blubs.

TIFFANY:

See! Wasn’t that fun?

RUBY SUE:

I guess you were right, Tiffany.

I’ll see you at cheer practice.

(MORE)

13.

RUBY SUE (CONT'D)

(to herself)

We’re gonna have a lot of fun then.

Ruby walks down the bleachers.

INT. GIRL’S LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON

Ruby Sue takes her poms-poms out of the locker. Brie sits on

the locker room bench with a clipboard.

RUBY SUE:

How many new tryouts?

BRIE:

Five.

RUBY SUE:

How many are realistic?

BRIE:

One and a half.

RUBY SUE:

Tiffany?

BRIE:

Yeah. It’s like, you’d think they

get in the way, but they don’t.

RUBY SUE:

Alright! God! Enough about her

tits. They’re all anyone’s talking

about. It’s time we gave her a

lesson in humility.

BRIE:

Yeah, totally.

(beat)

What’s humility?

RUBY SUE:

It’s like... when you humiliate

someone.

BRIE:

Oh yeah, totally.

Ruby slams the locker shut.

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