Senior Year Page #7

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PETER:

It could be anyone. Let us see!

RUBY SUE:

(excited)

Oh my God!

(instantly disappointed)

Oh sh*t. It’s Seth.

PETER:

Shall we accept his request?

Seth’s profile pic is of him leaning against a Maserati.

RUBY SUE:

(changing her tune)

Ooh. Is that a Maserati? Yeah.

Click on that. Who’s all on here?

PETER:

Everyone. Here are your parents.

RUBY SUE:

Who cares? Type in Luke Perry.

Peter types it in. Ruby watches the screen.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

What happened to his side burns?

Ooh, I wonder if Blaine still has

his?

(realizing)

Oh my God, Blaine!

She grabs the computer from Peter and searches for Blaine.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

This is great! It’s like a space

age yearbook.

Ruby Sue finds Blaine’s profile.

41.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

There he is! Looking good! I wonder

what he’s up to. I can almost see

his abs under his shirt.

ON SCREEN:

A photo of BLAINE (now 37), looking a lot like Luke Perry.

Scratch that, basically it’s Luke Perry.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

I was gonna play the field, but

that looks like a nice landing

spot. Look at his tan, it’s golden

brown. So money.

PETER:

It says he is married, however.

RUBY SUE:

Oh yeah? Let’s see what the

competition looks like.

She clicks on his pictures, turns to Peter.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

These pizza bagels are delish.

She turns back, sees Blaine with his wife... TIFFANY.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

What. The. Slut!?

PETER:

Ahh yes. Cheerleader coach, Barnes.

Your friend has done well for

himself. She is a mother I would

most to like to...

RUBY SUE (OVERLAY)

F*** you! I’ll be home when I feel

like it.

EXT. RUBY SUE’S HOUSE - NIGHT

A ‘96 Camaro, engine running, waits on Ruby’s street. Seth

leans against it - his best cool guy pose.

Ruby Sue spills out the front door of her house, clinging to

a bottle of whisky. She stomps towards the Camaro.

RUBY SUE:

What is that? Where’s the Maserati?

42.

He opens the passenger seat for her.

SETH:

Yeah, uh, that’s in the shop...

He slides the seat forward so she can climb in the back.

RUBY SUE (O.S.)

Why’s another dude in the car?

Seth climbs into the passenger seat.

INT. ‘96 CAMARO - MOMENTS LATER

ODIE (now 37) is behind the wheel. Seth is turned around

facing Ruby in the backseat.

SETH:

You remember Odie, right?

RUBY SUE:

Why would I remember Odie?

ODIE:

OK, so where we going?

Ruby Sue hands him an address on a piece of paper.

SETH:

Wait. Is this where we have the

faculty Christmas party? This is

Blaine and Tiffany’s house.

RUBY SUE:

Yeah. We’re gonna f*** it up!

ODIE:

Nice!

Odie takes a swig of the whisky straight from the bottle.

SETH:

I’m sorry. Are you drinking? Hold

on! What are we doing?

ODIE:

Donuts... on his lawn!

RUBY SUE:

Yeah! That’s what I’m talking

about. Odie gets it.

43.

Ruby Sue and Odie high five over the seat. Seth shoots Odie a

nasty look.

SETH:

Hey! I’m a teacher. She’s mycolleague. We can’t be doing donuts

on their lawn.

RUBY SUE:

Don’t be such a p*ssy, Seth. That’s

your problem. You coulda been cool,

but you never had any balls.

ODIE:

Yeah. Don’t be a p*ssy, Seth.

SETH:

(to Ruby Sue)

Excuse me.

(turning to Odie)

Are you outta your f***ing mind?

ODIE:

How many times did we used to say

we could hang with the cool kids if

we only got the chance?

SETH:

Cool kids? Do you hear yourself?

ODIE:

This is payback. Blaine Barnes is a

piece of sh*t. He’s got it coming.

SETH:

You’re 37 years old!

ODIE:

Not tonight I’m not!

Odie kills the headlights, leaves the fogs on. He pushes a

tape into the deck. Cranks it.

AC/DC Thunderstruck blares...

EXT. NICE SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - CONTINUOUS

The Camaro goes airborne, cresting a hill. Smashing through

the shrubs, it explodes a mailbox on impact.

Dirt, mud and smoke are kicked up from the spinning tires as

it carves donuts on the front lawn.

44.

INTERCUT. INT. ‘96 CAMARO - CONTINUOUS

Odie, bliss on his face, works the wheel. Ruby Sue attempts

to pour whisky into her mouth, but the centrifugal force

sends the liquid streaming into Seth’s face as he death grips

the dashboard for safety.

Lights turn on inside the Barnes house.

SETH:

Get outta here, man! Go go go!

The Camaro, spinning its tires, sprays hot mud against the

windows in the front of the house.

ODIE:

I’m trying, man! We’re stuck.

RUBY SUE:

Lemme out! Open the door!

Ruby Sue climbs over the seat, spilling into Seth’s lap.

SETH:

What are you doing?

RUBY SUE:

Squashing beef. Lemme out!

SETH:

Are you crazy? No way!

She opens the door and face plants on the lawn. The Camaro

frees itself, hopping the curb, leaving her in the yard.

Police sirens go off in the distance.

ODIE:

Five-O. We gotta blow, hoss.

SETH:

No! We can’t blow! My date is

taking a mud bath on the lawn.

ODIE:

Sorry dude. They’re not gonna get

me. Not today. Not ever.

Odie floors it, peeling out in a cloud of smoke. His finger

waves goodbye out the window.

ODIE (O.S.) (CONT’D)

F*** you, Barnes!

45.

Ruby Sue gets to her feet. Like an injured boxer, she chicken

legs across the lawn, spilling booze all over herself.

RUBY SUE:

(re:
the whiskey)

Didn’t spill a drop.

She downs what’s left in a single swig and smashes the bottle

against the front door.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

(screaming)

Tiffany!

Police sirens grow louder as they get closer.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

(screaming at the house)

Come out and face me!

The front door opens. It’s Tiffany. Ruby charges at her with

bad intentions...

WHAM! Suddenly she’s flying sideways. A police officer

tackles her from the side. They land in the mud.

Ruby Sue looks up from her back at the HULKING FEMALE COP.

RUBY SUE (CONT’D)

Martha?

MOMENTS LATER:

Ruby Sue is handcuffed in the back of the police car, fuming.

Brittany, takes selfies against the police car as Ruby Sue

curses her from behind the glass.

MARTHA, now a COP, is chatting with Tiffany and her husband,

Ruby’s old boyfriend, BLAINE.

TIFFANY:

Honestly, it’s not the property

damage or that she tried to attack

me, it’s Ruby Sue’s well being that

I’m concerned about.

BLAINE:

Is that... is that really her?

Ruby Sue’s screams are muffled behind police car glass.

46.

RUBY SUE:

Blaine! You a**hole! How could you

get with her?! She’s an STD whore!

BLAINE:

Yeah, that’s her.

TIFFANY:

I don’t want her to spend the rest

of her life in prison, you know,

because she missed so much already.

MARTHA:

So you don’t want to press charges?

TIFFANY:

The thing is, Blaine might want to

run for office someday so we don’t

want to appear soft on crime.

BLAINE:

Huh? What?

TIFFANY:

Why don’t you take Brit inside?

He starts to walk away, but Tiffany pulls him back and jams

her tongue down his throat. Her one eye stays open to be sure

Ruby sees it. She does and she fumes.

MARTHA:

Ahem.

TIFFANY:

So yeah... I mean, I know Ruby Sue

was the only one who liked you,

Martha, but our hands are kinda

tied on this one. We’re gonna have

to press charges to the fullest.

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