Senseless Page #7

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- Glad you could make it.

Mr. Vickers.

I'm Darryl Witherspoon.

- It's a pleasure to make

your acquaintance, sir.

- Nice meeting you too, Darryl.

- It's a pleasure.

- [Horn Sounding]

- [Announcer]

...the group discount ticket...

- Hey, Darryl.

[Voice Echoing]

What say we get some beers and nuts?

Uh... Hey, I have a great idea.

What do you say we all

get something to drink?

Wait.

Let's get some beers!

Huh? Huh?

[Announcer] And now,

ladies and gentlemen, please rise...

for the national anthem.

Hey, wait. Sit down!

I'll grab 'em. Sit. Hey!

- Beer!

- ["The Star-Spangled Banner"

Playing]

- Hey! Beer!

- [Vickers Chuckling]

Why is everybody standing?

Excuse me. Cuckoo!

Excuse me!

Beer, please!

There must be a fight or something.

Everybody's standing up.

- Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh!

- [Continues]

- [Men] Hey!

- Beers!

Thank God one of you's

got a goddamn pulse.

[Darryl] Beer!

Beer! Beer!

[Players Chattering, Shouting]

[Cheering, Shouting, Whistling]

Beer!

[Whooping]

No. No, not now!

I'm sorry. Excuse me. My bad.

I'm sorry. My bad.

Damn it. Hey, Arlo.

Move over.

[Sighs]

Don't tell me. Knicks are losing.

Man, they suck!

That Patrick Ewing,

boy, he's a bum.

I mean, 7' 10", and can't make an easy

layup. That's just a waste of height.

You seen Patrick Ewing's

"Got Milk" commercial?

Man, "Got Milk"? I had milk since I seen

Patrick Ewing's ugly ass drinking it.

He make a mother lactose intolerant.

[Darryl Guffawing]

He look like a Haitian Sasquatch!

Jamaican.

Jamaican?

[Shrieks]

[Chuckling Nervously]

Hi, Mr. Ewing.

Mr. Ewing, I think you're beautiful.

No! Mr. Ewing, wait. Mr. Ewing.

Mr. Ewing! [Grunts]

[Camera Shutters Clicking]

You're still ugly, motherf***er.

[Groans]

[Car Horns Honking]

[Sighs] So, how bad did I do?

- Well, Vickers is signing

the papers tomorrow.

- Vickers is gonna sign?

You're gonna get the account?

You don't look happy.

If it weren't for the fact

Arlo Vickers is one-quarter man,

three-quarters pig,

you'd be gone.

I'll see you Sunday at the hockey game.

- I expect, for your sake,

you'll be at your best?

- Yes, sir.

- [Flatulence]

- [Sniffs] Don't worry about it.

I can't smell a thing.

Tell me again

Be my baby again

- Pusher lady.

- [Knock At Door]

Yeah?

- Hey! Uh...

- Lorraine.

[Door Creaking]

[Chains Jangling]

I've been watching you

around campus,

and I like what I've seen.

Oh, I ain't mad at you, girl.

[Chuckles]

Wait. Aren't you

Janice's sorority sister?

You know Janice, right?

My girlfriend Janice?

I know her.

I thought we'd listen

to a little music...

[Voice Echoing] and drink a little

wine, get to know each other better.

You know...

[Distorted Speech]

I'm sorry. I didn't hear you.

I'd like to get

out of these clothes...

and into... you.

- They smack who's 'ho?

- [Laughs] Excuse me?

Sushi?

No, I don't know him.

Little brother, I don't know why you're

trippin', okay? Because I am the bomb.

And I can have any man I want,

go anywhere I want, and I came here.

I can hear you.

I mean, I'm here with you.

[Laughs]

But I'm not supposed to be.

Lorraine, you gotta go.

I will... when I'm done.

- [Sighs]

- [Sighs]

- Come with me.

- Okay.

Oh, no. Ouch!

- Where are you going?

- Um...

I just, uh, came over here to...

to get this.

- [Clicking]

- Ooh, a stapler!

- That's so freaky!

- Oh, yeah, that's me...

Freaky Deeky, girl.

- Mmm! Show me some more.

- Okay, get on... [Laughing]

- [Clicking]

- [Chuckles]

Do you like these?

Uh... yeah, that's nice.

You make 'em yourself?

No, silly.

I had a doctor do 'em for me.

[Chuckles] Wow!

- And what a mighty fine

physician he was. God!

- Go ahead and touch 'em.

You know you want to.

Don't be afraid. Touch 'em!

Ooh!

Ooh, you like it rough.

- [Moaning]

- [Garbled] Oh, God.

That's different.

Oh, oh, God.

Mm.

Mm.

What's happening?

What's the matter, baby?

[Garbled]

I can't feel my mouth.

- Is it asleep?

- Yes, my mouth is asleep.

Let me wake it up.

- You like this, don't you?

- Yes. [Muttering]

[Gibbering]

- [Gibbering Continues]

- [Gasping]

Oh! No, wait, wait.

- This is your first time?

- Well, actually, not my first time.

My first time,

I was about 17...

Oh, it's... it's okay.

I think you're sexy, and besides,

you always remember your first.

- [Both Moaning, Sighing]

- Oh, God.

I can't feel nothing.

I can't feel no...

- Uh... Th-That... No, that's good.

- You feel this, huh?

Oh, yeah, that's good.

[Giggling]

- [Gibbers]

- What about this?

Oh, yeah. I feel that...

[Gibbers, Grunts]

Take me.

I would love to, but it looks like

little homey's asleep.

Huh? Oh, no.

No. Wake up!

Wake up!

[Gibbers] He's gonna wake up.

He'll wake up.

Wake up.

Lorraine! No.

Hold on! Don't leave!

Wake up!

Wake...

[Screams]

- I thought you liked women.

- [Groaning]

[High-Pitched Voice]

I love women.

- Good luck.

- I love women.

Oh, really?

Hi, Janice.

I'm glad to see you, baby.

- [Groaning]

- You cheated on me

with that piece of trash?

[Grunting]

Baby, I didn't do anything.

I couldn't even get it up.

[Screaming]

[High-Pitched Moan, Coughing]

[Grunting]

[Sobs]

Ow.

Oh, my God!

He's OD'd!

No, dog!

Don't leave us, dog!

Don't you go down that tunnel!

Let me check his eyes.

Damn it!

His pupils are dilated.

Dude, you gotta turn his head. If he

pukes, he's gonna choke on his barf.

Just back up, okay?

He's gonna sh*t on himself.

This is an epinephrine shot

straight to the heart.

It's the only way.

No, let me do it.

I love him.

[Screams]

Call it an intervention. We were just

trying to help you out, Darryl.

Help me?

Tim, let's say this gets out.

People are gonna think

I'm a smackhead.

The word's "addict." And I think

you should respect the problem, eh?

- I don't have a problem!

- Don't yell at me.

I don't have a problem.

It was an experimental medicine

given to me by the university,

and it messed up my senses.

That and heroin?

- I am not on heroin!

- Don't yell at me.

I'm not yelling at you.

Understand, I'm in a bad state.

And you, my friend,

you're making it worse, okay?

My private life is a mess,

and God knows what the hell's

happening with my career.

And I'm not yelling at you.

- [Fizzing]

- To get Hell Night

started off with a bang.

I'd like you little plebes to join me

in a putrid bowl of liquid sh*t.

- [All Moaning]

- Sounds good.

- I'm buying.

- Hey.

Witherspoon.

There's my favorite jackass.

Hi, Scott.

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, wow. Is that punch?

Looks good.

It is good.

Have a sip.

- Thanks, Scott.

- You're surely welcome.

[Slurping, Gulping]

Yuck.

- [Smacks Lips, Sighs, Burps]

- Holy crap.

[All Groaning]

A little bland.

Your final test before you enter

the Kappa brotherhood is a tricky one.

Remember, a chain is only as strong

as its weakest link.

And, Witherspoon, everybody knows

you're the weakest link.

- Move it, scum!

- Weak links must be forged in fire.

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