September Page #4

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So tell me,...

..is it true you worked on

the atomic bomb?

No.

Did Diane tell you that?

Yes.

Not at all.

I did one small, unrelated project

at Los Alamos many years ago.

But when she's describing me to people

I'm the father of the A-bomb.

What branch of physics

are you involved with?

Something much more terrifying

than blowing up the planet.

Really?

Is there anything more terrifying

than the destruction of the world?

Yeah.

The knowledge that it doesn't

matter one way or the other.

That it's all random.

Originating aimlessly out of nothing and...

..eventually vanishing for ever.

I'm not talking about the world.

I'm talking about the universe.

All space, all time, just...

..a temporary convulsion.

And I get paid to prove it.

You feel sure of that, when

you look out on a night like tonight...

..and see all those millions of stars?

That none of it matters?

I think it's just as beautiful as you do.

And vaguely evocative of some deep truth

that always just keeps slipping away.

But then my professional

perspective overcomes me,...

..a less wishful,

more penetrating view of it,...

..and I understand it for what it truly is.

Haphazard,...

..morally neutral...

..and unimaginably violent.

Look, we shouldn't have

this conversation.

I have to sleep alone tonight.

That's why I cling to Diane...

..and consider myself very lucky.

She's warm and vital

and holds me while I sleep.

That way I don't have to dream of

photons and quarks.

I have a question for you, Richard.

Your daughter hates me.

Our daughter...

..hates me, and I love her.

She's my one child,...

..and I want her to be happy.

She never got over

the shooting, you know.

See, now, I'm a tough cookie.

I can file and forget.

Rap once if you hear me, Richard.

I want her to forgive me.

So you speak to her. OK, Richard?

You two were so close.

She loved you so much.

You rap if you hear me, Richard.

Rap, Richard.

Rap once.

Rap.

I love those old songs.

Between the music,

the candlelight and the drinks,...

..it feels like we're in some exotic place.

Mm.

I should never drink. My head swims.

What are you doing?

I've wanted to touch your face

since the first time we met.

What do you want me to say to you?

Soon we'll be going

in separate directions.

Peter, you must know

that this is impossible.

Lane is my best friend. She's crazy about

you. I don't think I could ever do that.

- And she's become so attached to you.

- Please.

I already feel guilty enough

because I led her on.

Not on purpose. I just wasn't

thinking about anyone but myself.

She's told me about

all the time you spent together.

I know about all your walks and talks

by the lake, under the stars.

She's told me all that.

I felt very lonely.

I needed some company,

and my marriage broke up.

I was losing confidence

that I could write this book.

I needed a voice

to keep me from panicking.

But you made love together.

I didn't understand how vulnerable

she was until it was too late.

I know it's my fault.

Would you... Would you have become

serious about her if I hadn't come along?

I don't know. Maybe.

You do funny things

when you feel empty inside.

Look,...

..I'm married.

You know, my kids come home

from camp in a week. I have a life.

I know.

But is it the life you want?

Is it?

- You've been flirting with me for weeks.

- Please, just go away.

My husband's a wonderful man.

Oh, he's bewildered

because I wanted this summer apart.

He's a radiologist.

He takes X-rays, but...

..I never let him take them of me

because, if he looked inside, he'd...

..he'd see things that he wouldn't

understand and he'd be terribly hurt.

Somewhere along the line I just...

..I just started going through

the motions of my life.

Steffie...

I've just... I've just longed so

to hear certain things said to me again.

I want so much to respond,

but I can only run.

- Don't run.

- I can only run.

That's all I can do.

I knew you cared about me.

That's why I couldn't look at you when

you were around because I felt so guilty.

I wanna kiss you right now.

You can't. You can't because

there's too many problems.

This is just out of the question.

Out of the question.

We're gonna be discovered.

Just please go away.

It's out of the question.

Time for me to go home.

Sorry about the Kurosawa film.

I made some coffee before.

D'you want me to heat it up for you?

No, thanks. I'd rather stay drunk.

Maybe you'd better.

I'm supposed to work tomorrow.

You've been in such

a strange mood all night.

Did you know that the universe

was haphazard, morally neutral...

..and unimaginably violent?

Peter...

What happened to us?

What do you mean?

You know, we were getting so close...

..and we... we shared all that time...

..and, um...

..and that night at the lake...

I mean, did I... Am I misreading the signs?

Maybe you did.

I can't let myself get involved right now.

I'm gun-shy from my marriage and...

..I'm unsettled about my life, my work.

Can I help?

They're my problems.

I don't wanna cause you any suffering.

You're doing so well.

You need to think about yourfuture.

Yeah, I know.

I know you're right. I...

It's silly, but I just...

You know, I have these dreams

that, when we're both in New York,...

..you know, we'd...

I don't know.

You know, we just... We feel things

so similarly so much of the time,...

..and that's so rare.

I don't... I'm sorry, I'm really tired.

I don't know what I'm saying.

The funny thing is that I'll probably

wind up calling you at 3am in New York...

..to keep me from going off the deep end.

- Hi. Can I give you a hand there?

- No, that's OK.

Listen, I had a talk with Peter.

And he doesn't wanna

get involved right now.

And that's OK. I understand that.

He's... You know,

he's got a lot of problems.

But I... But maybe things

will be different later on. You know?

I'm glad that things are

out in the open anyway.

You know, I do feel better.

We'll both be living in New York.

Who knows? You know,

anything could happen.

Who could that be?

Hello?

Oh, Ken. No, she's right here.

One second.

Ken, listen. I told you the lights were out

and the phone was out. I couldn't call you!

Right. Yes.

I still don't know. I'm thinking about

spending some time in New York.

Please don't bring that up now.

It's late and I'm tired.

Let me call you tomorrow. Good night.

Oh, God.

I didn't know you were still here.

I heard your voice.

Peter, we're not alone.

Steffie, I love you.

From the first day.

We could be alone.

I can't spend the night in the guesthouse.

Maybe not the whole night,...

..but we could have

some of it alone together.

Oh, God.

Would you?

Look, if...

If this means anything to you,...

..I really want to, but I...

I just love this room. It's just perfect.

We could knock this wall out

and make one big room.

- That's a thought.

- It's big enough as it is. I love the size.

OK, whatever.

- What about fishing?

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