Serendipity Page #2

- Oh, Jesus.|That's a deep, deep gash.|- Gaping.

What? We'll|fix that right up.

There you go.

What? Oh, you're|looking at my freckles.

It's the curse|of the English, I'm afraid.|Fair skin and bad teeth.

No, you have great teeth.

Those aren't just freckles.

If you look closely,|you can see Cassiopeia.

- What?|- Right there.

Hold on a minute.

Okay. All right,|here's the story.

A long time ago in Ethiopia,

there was this queen|named Cassiopeia...

who thought she was the most|beautiful woman in the entire world,

and there wasn't anybody in|the kingdom who wasn't offended...

by this woman's|relentless vanity.

And then one day, she really|screwed up and offended the gods.

I don't remember what she did and|I don't remember who she offended.

But it was bad.|She crossed the line.

But anyway, Poseidon, the sea god,|punished Cassiopeia...

by placing her in the heavens|upside down on her throne,

stuck for eternity with her skirt|around her shoulders...

and all the blood|rushing to her head.

And now she's just|a constellation in the sky,

a bunch of English freckles|in the shape of a throne.

So she made|one tragic mistake.

And paid for eternity.

Correct.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.|- Legible, legible.

- I can't believe I'm doing this.|- Now, please, please.

Let fate take|its proper course.

Oh!

- That was an accident.|Write down that again, please.|- I can't.

That was a sign.

Fate's telling us|to back off.

If fate didn't want|us to be together, then why|did we meet tonight, huh?

- Gotcha.|- Well, I don't know.

- But it's not an exact science.|It's a feeling.|- Well, what if you're wrong?

Huh? What if it's all|in our hands and we just walk away?

No names, no phone numbers, nothing.|What do you think's gonna happen?

Do you think good old fate is|just gonna deliver my information...

- right to your doorstep?|- Do you know that's the best|idea you're had all night?

- What's the best--|- Here you go. Write|your name and number down.

- On a $5.00 bill?|- Mm. Just do it.

You are a strange|and interesting woman.

Now what?

Wait there.

Hey!

What the hell was that?

When that $5.00 bill|makes it back into my hands,|I'll be able to call you.

And when you hear|my voice on the other end,

then you'll believe|in fate, won't you?

##

- Hey, what about me?|- What do you mean?

Well, we have to send|something out in the universe|with your name on it, don't we?

- Come on. Isn't that|the only fair thing?|- That is the only fair thing.

What have I got, even?|Ooh. No. I have a really good idea.

- What?|- Okay.

- That's a lot of tuba.|- Okay, see this book?

Yeah.

Okay, so when|I get home tonight,

I'm gonna write my name|and number inside this book.

And then first thing|tomorrow morning, I'll sell it|to a used book store.

Which one?

You're not gonna tell me.|You're not gonna tell me. Why not?

Well, now, every time|you go past an old book store,

you're gonna have to go inside|to see if it's there.

This is just wrong.|You don't just have the most|incredible night of your life...

with a perfect stranger and then|leave it all to chance, do ya?

- Do ya?|- Come with me a second.

What, we're gonna get a room?

I'm kidding.|But I wanna know you more.

- Come on. Where are we going?|- Okay.

- Now, you stay here.|- Okay.

- No, stay here. Stay there.|Don't make me come over there.|- Okay.

All right, if we both|randomly pick the same floor,|we're meant to be together now.

You're insane.

Come on.|Okay, get in.

Take a breath, and then|when the door closes, hit a button.

- I don't understand this.|- You don't have to understand.|You just have to have faith.

Faith in what?

Destiny.

Hey!

It's Sara.|My name's Sara.

[ Elevator Dings ]

And here it is.|See? You were right.

- Uh--|- Let's go, buddy.

- We're going up here.|- Oh, that's okay.|Josh likes to ride either way.

- Don't you, Josh?|- [ Growling ]

Don't do that!|Don't touch those!

Hey, calm down.|He's just a kid.

[ Hisses ]

- Looks like we've stopped.|- [ Hisses ]

[ Snarling ]

[Yelling, Indistinct]

- We're going again.|- Thank you.

-[Josh]|Where is she? Is she here?|- No, no. I don't think so.

Come on, Josh.|Let's go, buddy.

[Jonathan]|Okay, stay alert.

- [Josh Crying ]|- Is she here?

- No, not here.|Back in the elevator.|- She's not here?

- Come on! Come on!|Move it! Come on, boy!|- [ Dog Barks ]

Hey, Sara. I'm sorry.

- Hey. I'm sorry.|- What?

I'm sorry.

[Man] I usually have to|beg to be a part of weddings.

And if I do get into the wedding,|of course they postponed it,

and it's overseas somewhere,|and they've canceled my passport,

and I can't be a part of it,|and it's ridiculous|and awkward and horrible.

So thank you.|I take this very seriously.

It's a gift|to be the best man.

They say that once in your lifetime,|someone comes along...

whom you're absolutely|meant to be with.

Everything feels great,|stars are aligned,

body and spirit|are in balance.

Formy friend|Jonathan Trager,

that person was me.

But as you know,|Jonny and I were simpatico.

We were brothers|from another mother.

We were friends|since freshman year.

I watched him go out|with woman after woman,|and he'd always come crawling--

he would come crawling|back to me.

- It was embarrassing.|- You loved it.

But then one night he came home|and things were different.

His adole scent dream of becoming|a documentary filmmaker|was a thing of the past.

- Thank God.|- He hardly even responded...

to my playful yet tormented|flicks of my finger...

against the soft part of his skull|as he studied for finals.

And that is because|he had found her.

The woman he was meant to be with.|And if anyone is qualified...

to know when he met his soul mate,|it would be me, his first wife.

She's smart, she's funny,|she's beautiful.

In short, she's the kind of woman|that any man would dream about.

And I think we all have.|So it is with sadness...

and fond, fond memories...

that I raise my glass...

to the new|Mrs. Jonathan Trager.

I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you something. My friends,|if I had to lose Jonny to anyone,

I can't imagine|a more perfect woman than Halley.

Cheers to both of you.

- How drunk is he|on a scale of one to ten?|- Twelve.

You think we'll ever out-romance|Dean and Courtney?

- I don't know. I don't think|I've ever seen them fight.|- Me neither.

Must be a b*tch|on their sex life.

We have a pomegranate souffle|which is amazing, which is|different than the sorbet.

Listen, we'd love|to join you guys,

but Courtney has to wake up,|so I got to be good.

Halley, listen to me.|It's not too late to back out.

- Good night, Dean.|- And I'm at 166th and--

Good night, Courtney.

Mama, you don't want to see this.|I need-- I need to snuggle.

- I'm gonna go sleep it off.|Listen, you're wonderful.|- Good night.

- You know what? You need me.|- Take care. Come on, hon.

You guys, listen, I hate to|tell you, but I gotta go home too.

I have to. I gotta get up|at 8:00 in the morning.|My day is crazy tomorrow.

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