Serving Sara Page #3

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Not to mention those extra poker|nights with the boys.

Gordon doesn't play poker.

Missing my point.

Look, I've served thousands|of subpoenas.

Granted, never one to|somebody as hot as you.

I don't know|your husband

but I do have a great deal|of insight into men.

And we are mean,|hurtful and despicable.

Male headquarters would kill me

if they knew I was|telling you this.

Yeah, well, "despicable"|is putting it mildly.

And then,|you complain that

we get half of everything.

Believe me, after this type|of treatment

half is the very least|we should get.

The only thing you're getting|half of, honey

is screwed.

What do you mean?

He served you first.

He's in Texas, and he's got|home-court advantage.

Wait. Served me first?

What is this? Third grade?

Yeah, sometimes.

Texas has the most conservative|divorce laws

in the country.

Not to mention|those good ol' boy judges.

Sure most of them aren't married|to their first wives.

Believe me

if I'd known|this was coming

I'd have been the one|doing the serving.

- Yeah.|- How about that, huh?

Whatever.

No, seriously.

What would have happened|if I'd served him first?

Okay, if you had served|him first

the trial would have been|in New York...

not in Texas... where you would|have fared a lot better.

Hey, I have a proposition|for you.

You tear up the papers on me

and I'll hire you|to serve my husband.

I'll pay you twice|what you're getting now.

Look, here's|what you don't understand.

I've already told them|that I served you, okay?

So if I flip it|and tag your husband

my reputation will be shot.

I'll never work again.

I'll give you ten percent|of my divorce settlement.

We own a cattle ranch.

It's worth $20 million.

$20 million?

Mm-hmm.

Ten percent of half?

Mm-hmm.

You're willing to pay me|a million dollars.

Well, that still leaves|nine for me

versus next to nothing.

It's kind of a no-brainer.

You're really serious?

I think we should draw up|a contract.

Let's see...

Won't be needing this.

One... million...

Dollars...|Great, let's go.

Thanks a lot.

Miami Marriott.

If anybody calls|for Ms. Sara Moore

tell them she's relocated

to one of your hotels|in Bangor, Maine.

Bangor, Maine.

That's right, Bangor, Maine.

That's where she'll be.

I thought we were going|to Dallas.

We are. Just playing|a little game of hide-and-seek.

Now break out your credit cards.

We got tickets to buy.

and I'm a-head out West

Where real women come equipped

With scripts and fake breasts

and I'm the real McCoy

And I'm headin' out West, sucker

baby

and the sunshine shining

and the sunshine shining

Cowboy, baby

with the Boone's wine

I wanna be a cowboy, baby

'cause I sleep all day

Cowboy.

All right, got my papers

and you know your way|around this place, right?

Actually, I've never been inside|before

but Gordon always said

it was his place|to come and "focus."

Yeah, well, all you have to do|is point him out

and then stay out of sight

because if he sees you,|we're done.

Is it okay if I strangle him|from behind?

Yes, you can do|whatever you want

but wait until I serve him.

Okay.

Let me see that scarf.

Okay, all set.

If you have a moment,|I'd like to take you two

on a little tour here|of our facility.

Why, that would be lovely.

Great.

So, what part of London|are you from?

Hampstead.

Hmm, sorry,|I'm not familiar with it.

Well, it's on the corner|of Penny Lane and Abbey Road.

Hmm...

very interesting.

How many pounds

were you looking at losing?

Well, I don't think|it's important

to talk about money|at this point, do you?

You see, pounds... money...

Be quiet.

How exactly did you hear|about us

Mr. And Mrs...

"Poppins"?

Well, we have an acquaintance|here at the club

a Gordon Moore.

Solid, solid, solid fellow.

Absolutely.|As a matter of fact

I believe Mr. Moore's|working out here this morning.

Perhaps we'll run into him.

Perhaps.

I'll just show you|the men's area now.

Jolly good.

Mrs. Poppins, if you'll wait|here for just a moment

we'll be back in a|jiffy, as you say.

Oh, okay, thanks.

I should tell you,|I don't like to lift things.

I'm sweating.

You're glowing, darling.

Hey, how's my form?

Yeah, yours is pretty good.

Keep it up, Gordon.

Oh, it's up.

It's up.

Focusing?!

A**hole!

Sara?

Yeah! ...|Joe, quick. It's him, quick!

Where?! Where?!

our candle-lit Pilates...

You stop him, Allison!

Look, lady, I'm not going|to hit a girl, okay?

You go, girl!

Go on, Joe.

Well, guess there's|a first time for everything.

Nice.

Take that!

Quick! He's getting away!

Remind me|to give you a raise.

Oh, for Christ's sake!

Look, babe|can we talk about this?

Get up!

Way to lay low back there.

Well, you said to point him out.

I just pointed him out.

Hey, you are going to have

to get in control|of your anger, okay?

You made us look|like fools in there.

I did?

Well, hey, at least|I wasn't beaten up by a girl.

Hey, that was not a girl.

I distinctly saw|an Adam's apple

and a bulge that I was|not comfortable with.

The only thing|we had going for us

was the element of surprise,|and you blew that.

Look, I know Gordon's habits.

I can easily find him again.

Oh, what do you think?

He's just going to sit around,|waiting for us to serve him?

No, he's history.

All he has to do is jump on|the first international flight

and then we're done, all right?

Even if I find him

I can't serve him|outside the United States.

I don't like your tone.

Oh, you don't like my tone,|Your Highness?

Don't forget, whenever I want,|I can serve

your papers again.

Look, you can stand there|and threaten me

or we could just get in the car|and go and find Gordon.

Oh, yeah?

Okay, where do you want to go...

boss?

Well, as your boss, I'd be|interested in your suggestions.

This is crazy.

You're crazy

and I quit.

Hey, I thought|you were quitting.

Who the hell am I going|to quit to?

I gave up half my life|for this crap.

So, what are we going|to do first?

Well, I think we, uh...

and when I say "we,"|I mean you...

should find a mute button|for yourself.

Necessita mas toallas|en la habitacion numero 150.

Asi que cuando pueda...

Excuse me... Yo!

Hello.

Can I help you?

Yeah, you can help me.

I got an important business|meeting with a Sara Moore.

- Sara Moore?|- Sara Moore, Moore.

M-O-O-O-R-E.

Here.

You sure about that?

Yeah, I'm sure about that.

What's the matter?

I don't look like a goddamn|businessman to you?

No, no, sir. It's just that

her reservation's been canceled.

Canceled? What the...?

I do have a forwarding address|if that would be helpful.

Yeah, that would be helpful.

Can you throw in|a little breeze

while you're at it?

Hey, cutie, how you doing?

She's nice.

Who's that?|Your sister?

Okay, Warren,|earn your money.

You want to tell me|what the hell's going on?

Sure.

Everything is beautiful.

My best guy served her|this morning up in Westchester.

All I'm doing is|waiting on the papers.

Oh, really?

Well, maybe you can explain|how that's possible

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