Setup Page #16

TESS:

Who the f*** are you?

FINCH:

Whoa, whoa, don’t shoot! I’m a cop.

JENNA:

Oh my god.

TESS:

Are you serious?

98.

FINCH:

Yes! I saw you before. At the

stoplight. Remember?

TESS:

I remember you shooting at us!

FINCH:

I was undercover before. And before

that. My real name is Dave. I like

lattes and bicycles and I’ve never

done a real drug in my life.

Tess lowers her weapon, relieved.

JENNA:

You have no idea how long I’ve been

waiting for you.

FINCH:

Don’t worry. I’m gonna get everyone

out of here. Just follow my-

BOOM -- FINCH’S HEAD EXPLODES INTO A MIST. Too quickly for

the girls to realize that SOMEONE’S CLIMBING IN THE WINDOW.

They SCREAM in terror, Tess dropping her gun, as Finch’s

lifeless body gives out to reveal: ZIGGY. Silenced gun and

all. Handcuffs broken but still on her wrists.

ZIGGY:

Who are you two?

Jenna VOMITS onto Finch’s body in response.

TESS:

God dammit, Jenna!

JENNA:

I can’t help it! His face is

f***ing gone!

ZIGGY:

Were you with this cop?

JENNA:

No way! We hate cops!

TESS:

“F*** the Police” is like my

favorite song of all time!

ZIGGY:

Is Eugene here?

99.

JENNA:

We don’t know who that is.

Ziggy pulls Tess and Jenna out of the door by their collars -

INT. FOYER - SAME

A group of GOONS are milling about, searching for the source

of the loud noises. A GUNSHOT goes off and everyone whips

around to see ZIGGY -- gun aimed at Keaton.

ZIGGY:

Hands off the heat, fellas.

Doug, Blair and the Goons take their hands off their guns.

EUGENE:

Chill, Zig! I have the sh*t.

Everything’s accounted for.

ZIGGY:

Even the dead pig down the hall?

EUGENE:

Dead what?

BLAIR:

We’re in a metropolis, how did a

pig even get in here?

JENNA:

She means a cop!

Keaton’s night just got a little bit worse.

KEATON:

A cop?

TESS:

Her partner was f***ing undercover!

KEATON:

I’m sorry, who are you?

TESS:

I’m Tess. Hi. Sorry. Continue.

EUGENE:

Finch was a f***ing cop?

ZIGGY:

He screwed the deal up on purpose

so we’d lead him here. To her.

100.

Doug shoots Keaton and Blair an “I told you so” look.

ZIGGY (CONT’D)

It was all a frame up... conspiracy

level... trick... what the heck

phrase am I trying to think of?

JENNA:

SET UP.

ZIGGY:

Set up! THANK YOU!

KEATON:

So why are you pointing a gun at

me? He was on your side!

ZIGGY:

He had to be working with Doug. Why

else would he fall for this sh*t?

KEATON:

Because Doug is a f***ing idiot.

That part is for real.

Fed up, Doug HITS KEATON IN THE FACE WITH THE FAKE DRUGS.

She stumbles as the FLOUR inside BURSTS OUT, raining down.

Using the falling flour as a smoke screen, Blair whips his

gun out and SHOOTS ZIGGY in the arm. She rolls for cover -

EUGENE:

Is this flour?

Eugene turns and SLITS A GOON’S THROAT with his switchblade.

He stabs his way through people on an unhinged rampage --

DOUG:

Get out of here!

Tess and Jenna scurry out of the room at Doug’s command.

Keaton notices and RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM AFTER THE GIRLS --

Blair pulls his gun toward Doug, but Doug body tackles him -

BLAIR:

I suppose I owe you an apology.

DOUG:

F*** you.

Doug scrambles to his feet and Blair chases him out --

101.

Eugene slits another throat and then starts looting the

house, pocketing expensive-looking objects. He slowly reaches

up a shelf, not noticing the FISHING LINE connected to it...

Ziggy finds the LAST REMAINS OF GARY BUSEY, which has fallen

out of Doug’s jacket. She opens up the bag and SNORTS-

BOOM! Eugene triggers a BOOBY-TRAPPED EXPLOSION, blowing him

to pieces and sending Ziggy and a few GOONS flying.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Tess and Jenna run into the kitchen, scrambling to find an

exit, as KEATON enters behind them.

KEATON:

YOU!

Keaton power-walks toward them, rage intensifying with every

step. The girls grab nearby KITCHEN UTENSILS -- arming

themselves with anything -- as Keaton reaches them.

Keaton quickly gains the upper hand, CHOKING TESS, until

Jenna gets a solid WHACK in with a frying pan. Keaton gets up

and walks toward a KNIFE BLOCK. Jenna notices the knives...

JENNA:

No, no, no...

Jenna scrambles up and DIVES onto Keaton’s legs.

JENNA (CONT’D)

Tess, help me!

Tess slowly grumbles to her feet and jumps on Keaton -- both

girls now holding her legs back -- just as Doug did to them.

TESS:

Just let us go!

KEATON:

You’re the one holding my legs.

TESS:

Because you’re gonna stab us!

Keaton reaches for a PARTICULAR KNIFE, her lanky arms giving

her enough stretch to get a fingertip on it.

102.

INT. DINING ROOM - SAME

Blair catches Doug and they wrestle each other to the ground,

smashing through decorative candles and FINE CHINA.

BLAIR:

We can’t fight in here! This is the

dining room!

Doug intentionally SMASHES a dish as they continue to wreck

their way across the room, wrestling up against a wall -

BACK TO KITCHEN:

Tess and Jenna try with all their might, but Keaton gets a

hand on the knife. She PULLS, and --

CLICK. The knife doesn’t come out of the block. Rather, it

TRIGGERS A SERIES OF SECRET COMPARTMENTS TO OPEN, REVEALING -

GUNS HIDDEN EVERYWHERE. Behind cabinets, under tables, behind

paintings -- a booby-trapped buried treasure.

TESS:

No f***ing way.

INT. FOYER - SAME

Ziggy recovers from the blast, her arm wound wrapped and her

brain on drugs. She notices a SECRET COMPARTMENT has flipped

open in a nearby demilune, revealing an AUTOMATIC RIFLE.

ZIGGY:

It’s bruisin’ time.

Ziggy grabs the gun and pops up, MOWING THROUGH GOONS --

BACK TO DINING ROOM:

A PAINTING has swung open right next to Blair. He and Doug

are lunging for the GUN hiding inside. Blair manages to get a

hand on it and SMASHES Doug’s head with the butt -

Doug rolls under the dining table to avoid Blair’s shots.

BLAIR:

Being nearly concussed isn’t very

pleasant, is it?

Blair fires as Doug ekes out of the room, running away --

BACK TO KITCHEN:

103.

Keaton grabs a nearby gun from a now-open cabinet, causing

the girls to scurry away as fast as they can.

TESS:

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Keaton fires but misses as the girls wheel around the corner.

On their way out, they SCOOP GUNS OUT OF COMPARTMENTS --

BACK TO FOYER:

Ziggy looks for Eugene -- but only finds his gold shoes. She

wails a coked-out scream and KILLS MORE GOONS, finally

basking in the badass glory she’s always wanted.

Tess and Jenna wheel around the corner -- uh oh. Wrong turn.

ZIGGY:

You dick-holes killed Gene!

The girls freeze in fear, but as Ziggy raises her rifle...

HER EYELIDS FLUTTER, AND SHE FALLS TO THE GROUND. ASLEEP.

Tess and Jenna stare in shock until the last few GOONS pop up

and RIDDLE ZIGGY’S BODY WITH BULLETS. If Ziggy were awake,

she’d be proud to die in a hail of gunfire.

The goons turn to the girls, but they’re already gone -

INT. KITCHEN - SAME

Doug sees Blair enter the kitchen and shoots -- trading fire.

Blair falls to the ground, hidden.

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