Sex: How It Works Page #11

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the birth of his child.

This could be to stop him

straying and to promote bonding

with the new baby.

CARL:
I can't wait.

It's just the thought, just the

thought of her just being there

in my arms. I can't wait.

NARRATOR:
The time has come

for April to give birth.

CARL:
The contractions started

about 4 o'clock this afternoon

and, um, yeah it's

been a long day.

So it's been going on for

the best part of 11 hours.

APRIL:
A lot of things scare me

you know when it comes to what

I'm gonna be like as a

parent if I'm honest.

how is my child going

to turn out? you know?

Will I being doing this right?

They are little things that

I have already thought about.

NARRATOR:
After 16 hours in

labour April gives birth.

APRIL:
This is

Ellie Marie Paddon.

I feel amazing; just, words

can't describe how happy

I am right now.

Really, truly amazing

how gorgeous she is.

Do you know what, it still sort

of hasn't really sunk in yet

that I'm a mum?

NARRATOR:
Our sex drive pushes

us to spread our genes as wide

as possible; it also plays

a vital role in keeping us

together.

Raising a family can unite

a couple for a lifetime,

but it may also cause things

to change in the bedroom.

MAREN:
Well, we met

almost nineteen years ago.

It was at a very fun

time in our lives,

and we did a lot of travelling

and we did a lot of rock

climbing and just had a lot

of fun before we had a lot of

responsibilities.

KEVIN:
I remember when

we first started dating,

we would get together on

any day probably the first thing

we'd take care of was sex and

then we'd do something else.

MAREN:
Sex before we

would go rock climbing,

sometimes at the climbing spot.

KEVIN:
Right?

It was definitely an everyday

occurrence for sure, you know,

and a lot of the

times twice a day!

NARRATOR:
When couples orgasm,

it's thought a hormone called

oxytocin is released, that's

been linked to promoting

feelings of affection,

contentment and attachment,

which help couples bond.

FEMALE:
Sex is the most

important part of a

relationship, if you don't have

sexual chemistry you don't have

anything

MALE:
Of course not, it's only,

at that moment it's only you

and her; It's nobody else, so it

can't get any closer than that.

MALE:
Sex got a lot better.

We both didn't know what

we were doing at first,

and then like we like practised

everything with each other

and got real good so...

FEMALE:
Yeah, so it's awesome.

MALE 2:
I think the sex gets

better as you continue to have

sex with that same person,

so a one night stand is fun

but it's not as good as

having a committed relationship.

MALE:
I think sex has changed a

little bit, its more intimate,

I think it's more deeply tied

to how we're responding to each

other on a relationship

level first.

FEMALE:
Yeah, I would say our

sex fluctuates in and out of

different periods and

times because, you know,

life changes and when you've

been together for so long

things, life fluctuates,

what you gonna do?

MAREN:
I'm even more in love

with Kevin than when we got

married, and our relationship

has just gotten deeper

and richer...

KEVIN:
It evolves

every day, you know?

Before I met Maren I think the

longest relationship I'd had

was less than a year.

I couldn't imagine 19 years ago

that this is where we'd be and

this is how I'd feel about her.

NARRATOR:
But the stress of

life can put the brakes on even

the most active of sex lives.

KEVIN:
You know, since we've had

kids we've given up a lot of

our freedom.

MAREN:
So Kai, what was your

favorite part about this weekend

KAl:
A lot of trampolines.

KEVIN:
Since we first met

I started my own business,

which takes me away from

home 80 hours of a week.

We've had some very low

points in our relationship;

there's been talk of

divorce at points.

MAREN:
Neither of us, I think,

even are really wanting

to have sex at nine o

clock-nine-thirty at night,

because we're both

just so tired.

We're both just thinking

about sleeping and not sex.

NARRATOR:
It's been shown that

for every month a couple

are together a woman's sexual

desire decreases by about 1%,

whereas men's sex drive

remains largely the same.

The reason for a couple's

decline in passion may not

lie in dropping levels

of sex hormones,

but rather stress and simply

finding the time to be sexy.

Maren and Kevin turn to

a sex therapist for help.

CHRISTINE:
Hi.

MAREN:
Hi.

CHRISTINE:
Come on in.

You've been together for

more than 20 years right?

KEVIN and MAREN:
Nineteen.

CHRISTINE:
Yeah nineteen, you

know what makes each other tick.

KEVIN:
Our daily sex clock is

kind of off with each other,

whereas when we first

started dating it was,

we were both 24-7,

I think on that.

CHRISTINE:
But that can be

interpreted as a lack of

interest for a specific partner,

rather than a lack of general

interest in sex.

KEVIN:
I may not be feeling

it 100% all the time below

the waist but it's

always in my head.

But now it's like, you know, we

both have small windows I think

where we... where our

greatest desire is in.

Mine's usually early

in the morning,

hers is in the afternoon so

they don't always rhyme

with each other.

MAREN:
When there've been

dips in Kevin's sex drive,

it's been very troubling to me

and that has made me feel, like,

maybe there- you know, maybe

he's not desiring me like

he used to?

I know that he probably has

satisfied himself in other ways

in his office...

KEVIN:
Just to get it done, I

would probably just rather take

care of it myself. Which I do.

CHRISTINE:
So part

of your homework,

what we're gonna recreate when

you go away is we're gonna

recreate a day when you had no

children and when you had those

moments of wanting to

have sex with each other.

If you are willing to put the

effort into planning a sexual

experience you stand to have

a much better and more

satisfying experience because

all the planning is done

and when it finally comes

to having sex you don't have

to think about that.

MAREN:
I think that sounds

great. I'm in. Pick me.

KEVIN:
Alright!

CHRISTINE:
Alrighty.

Have a good time!

MAREN:
Thank you!

Bye, Bye...

NARRATOR:
To rescue their sex

life Maren and Kevin are going

indulge their

favourite fantasies,

but will it be enough?

On the advice of

a sex therapist,

Kevin and Maren hope a weekend

away will help resurrect their

sexual desire for each other.

KEVIN:
It's been a long

time since we've, um,

had a night away together.

MAREN:
We're very much

looking forward to it,

just not leaving our room!

And there's a Jacuzzi tub so we

could shower first and then have

a Jacuzzi and then I do remember

her talking about him giving me

a massage, which I

think would be fabulous.

KEVIN:
Just looking forward to

the evening; to get started.

So, yeah we're gonna have

a nice little weekend here.

Do some of the things that

Christine asked us to do for,

um, our homework assignment.

MAREN:
I want... stripper shoes.

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