Sexy Beast

Oh, yeah.

Bloody hell.

I'm sweatin' here.

Roastin'.

Boilin'.

Bakin'.

Swelterin'.

It's like a sauna.

A furnace.

You could fry an egg on my stomach.

Ohh...

Ooh, now that is hot.

It's ridiculous.

Tremendous.

Fantastic.

Fan-dabby-dozy...

...tastic.

Oi. Give it some.

This brush is sick.

It's a good brush,

what's the matter with you?

Don't blame the brush, it's the man.

It's you, it's your technique.

Put your back into it.

Mush!

Yes, sir!

## Walking on the beaches #

# looking at the peaches #

# Well, I got the notion, girl, #

# that you got some suntan lotion #

# In that bottle of yours #

# Spread it all over #

# my peeling skin, baby #

# That feels real good #

# All the skirts #

# lapping up the sun #

# Lap me up! #

# Why don't you come on #

# and lap me up #

# Walking on the beaches #

# looking at the peaches #

# Well, there goes another one #

# just lying down on the sand dunes #

# I better go take a swim #

# And see if I can #

# cool down a little bit #

# Cos you and me, woman #

# We got a lot of #

# things on our minds... #

Oi, I don't pay you to flap about,

# go and get us a coupla beers.

# Walking on the beaches #

# looking at the peaches #

# Well, you just #

# take a look over there #

# Where? #

# Is she trying #

# to get out of that clitoris? #

# Liberation for women, #

# that's what I preach #

# Preacher man! #

# Walking on the beaches #

# looking at the peaches #

# Oh, sh*t! #

# There goes the charabanc #

# Looks like I'm gonna be #

# stuck here the whole summer #

# Well, what a bummer! #

# I can think of #

# a lot worse places to be #

# Like down in the street #

# or down in the sewer #

# Or even #

# on the end of a skewer... #

Oh, lovely...

# Down on the beaches #

# just look at all the peaches #

# Down on the beaches... #

# Down on the beaches #

# just look at all the peaches #

# Down on the beaches #

# just look at all the peaches #

# Mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm! #

# Mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm! #

# Mmm! #

# Mm-mm mm-mm mm! ##

- What's that?

- It's a boulder.

- What?

- A f***in' boulder.

I've got the f***in' bends.

How did that happen?

I don't f***in' know.

Where's the mobile?

I almost got killed, Dee!

I was that close

to gettin' killed. Serious!

You nearly had a squashed husband.

Here, give your mate a call.

- What?

- Your mate, the one with the truck.

- Felipe?

- Yeah, if that's his name.

Don't worry about this, darlin'.

It's nothing.

Come here.

It has done

a fair bit of damage, Gal.

- Cracked the tiles.

- I had noticed!

- When's that gettin' fixed?

- Saturday, apparently.

Wouldn't bet on it.

They're takin'

the boulder out Tuesday

and retilin' on Saturday, I hope.

Oh!

F***in' hell!

- F***in' thing!

He should be in the circus.

He's a menace.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Oi, Gal.

You gonna stay with

the same colour water?

- What d'you mean?

- Water.

You stickin' with the plain?

You can have different colours.

- F*** off!

- Straight up!

Aquamarine, deep blue,

mid-blue, tangerine, lilac, pink,

plum, anything you want.

- They've got a chart.

- Is that right?

- Check it out.

- Gal, he's at it.

I'm not! What do you know?

- Just have the f***in' plain.

I fully intend to!

Now, eat your sausage!

People say,

"Don't you miss it, Gal?"

I say, "What? England?"

"Nah, f***in' place. It's a dump."

"Don't make me laugh."

"Grey, grimy, sooty."

"What a shithole. What a toilet."

"Every c*nt with a long face,

shufflin' about, moanin' or worried."

"No thanks, not for me."

They say,

"What's it like, then? Spain."

And I'll say, "It's hot."

"Hot."

"Oh, it's f***in' hot."

"Too hot?"

"Not for me."

"I love it."

He ain't gonna hit

f*** all with that blunderbuss.

- Better off with a spear.

- Shut up, Aitch.

Shh!

I'll give you 100 to 1.

Hold up.

Little peach.

It's only a tiddler.

That's his problem.

Prepare to meet your maker.

Cowboy gun? F***ing right,

it was a cowboy gun.

Clunk!

What?

I'm gonna have the calamari.

What you havin'?

I'm not sure yet.

You like mussels, have the mussels.

No, I'll have this chicken thing.

What chicken thing?

I didn't see that.

Oh, yeah.

No, I'm gonna have the calamari.

I'll have the calamari.

Shall we just order? I'm starvin'.

I'm Lee Marvin.

Here they are.

- Hello, babe.

Whatever it is, leave it outside.

That way,

we can have a nice evening.

Jackie... you look beautiful.

Can you get me a brandy, Aitch?

Now, that's what

I like to hear, brandy.

Bloody brandy.

I'll have one of them.

- You all right, Jackie?

- Aitch...

Tell him, then.

- Tell me what?

- Jackie?

Are you definitely retired?

Yeah, why?

- Definitely?

- I'm definitely retired.

What's this about?

Gal, we had a phone call,

just before we left the house.

- Yeah?

- It was from London.

He's definitely retired.

Wait a minute, love.

Now, let me get this straight.

You had a call. The phone goes.

It's a job, right?

- Yeah.

- And they want me?

Yeah.

- No one else?

- No.

- They want me?

- Yeah.

All right. You've asked me

and I've said no. That's it.

So... why are we still talking?

Jack?

It was Don Logan.

- Oh, Christ.

- Don Logan.

Gal, I'm sorry, I didn't know...

- It's all right.

- Why didn't he just call us?

Who knows what goes on

in that c*nt's head?

- It's not your fault.

- Shouldn't have picked it up.

All right, right, um...

You tell Don...

Umm... Tell him... thanks.

Thanks for thinkin' of me,

but I've gotta decline.

- No offence, but...

- You can't.

Well, then, tell him...

Tell him...

- I'd be no good.

- They're serious.

Tell him what the f***

you like, anything!

- You can tell him yourself.

- What?

- Yeah.

- He's comin' over.

Tomorrow.

Wants us to pick him up.

OK.

Seor.

He rates you, Gal.

Reckons there's no risk.

Oh, that's nice, that. Nice and cold.

I love this restaurant.

Deedee, my lovely wife...

Come Saturday I'll have

me pool back, swim in it.

Always dreamed of that... this.

Guess where?

That's it. You got it right in one.

Inside, that's where.

"No risk."

No f***ing risk?

Nine years of my f***ing life,

no f***ing risk?

What you havin'?

I'm havin' the calamari.

Look, what's the worst thing

that could happen?

He's gonna come here, ask me,

I'm gonna say no.

He's not gonna be happy,

then he'll leave.

- That simple?

- Yeah.

Now, please, come to bed,

I miss you.

We don't have to be here.

Now, that would be

the wrong thing to do.

You know that.

That'd be like a red rag to a bull.

All I can do

is tell him to his face

that I'm not interested,

that's all I can do.

And I'm not.

And I will tell him.

Come here, give us a hug.

He'll hurt you.

No...

He won't.

He won't hurt me. He can't.

You know he can.

Come on. Let's get some kip.

Oi!

Here y'are, sort him out.

He'll have the balance

on Saturday.

Listen, stay away

from here for a bit.

I'm all right for the moment.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gotta change my shirt,

it's sticking to me.

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