Shaitan

Ma'am..

Ma'am.. please buy a book.

This is a book of serial.

just one book.

They are so cheap.

Sister, this is cheaper.

- Oh! Get lost.

Sister, this is cheaper.

Sister.. Sister,

fast.. Make it fast.

Take one book, sister.

Sister, this is for you..

Sister, please take one.

O God! Fighting all

the times.. Take this.

And switch off the TV.

Tanya hurry.. Chirag

Saree shoot at 2:00pm.

Hurry up.

I won't do it.

Tanya, I have

already taken an advance.

You'll have to go.

NO:

Tanya..

Okay, sir?

- A little lower.

Some more.

lower.

A little higher.

Who's doing it?

Bonus points.

Wife. Kids. What do you do?

Coming at you. I am a

crazy lesbian. Yeah!

There.

''killed me.''

''killed me.''

Oh God.

Zakir Hussain.

it is serious.

Had it not been serious..

..I wouldn't have come

here to talk to you both.

I can understand she

is in a state of shock..

..because of her mother's death.

she writes her mother's name..

..on all her assignments, on

every page, report and book.

She is scribbling her

mother's name all over the school.

She has claustrophobia issues.

What are you trying to say, ma'am?

Please don't get me wrong..

..but I seriously feel your

daughter needs clinical treatment.

Mr. Jaishankar, I'm

really sorry to say..

..but these are signs

of mental disturbance.

No, please. Just stop here.

We know she's been through trauma.

She has already had

enough counselling, ma'am.

I don't intend to

hurt your feelings.

I'm just trying to do my job.

Then please,

ma'am, just do it right.

You can't come here, to

my house and tell me..

..that my daughter is going mad.

You are being absolutely unfair.

I have said no such thing.

Please.

I have prepared a cheque for

donation. Tara, just give it to her.

I'll be in my study, okay?

Jai..

- I tell you..

Please. I.. I'm really sorry.

I got you.

What's wrong with you, Amu?

I am shifting all my

business to Bombay.

So many issues to seal with and

On top of that you..

Why can't you stop embarrassing us?

Make life a little easier for us.

It's not Bombay, dad. It's Mumbai.

What?

- Do you know why it's Mumbai?

Because of the Goddess Mumbadevi.

Did you see her photo?

She is beautiful.

Amu, your dad is trying to

tell you something, darling.

He is, right? Just

stop interrupting him.

Amu, talk to your mother properly.

I always talk

properly with my mother.

Amu.

Just forget it.

And you, young lady,

you better get going.

Have you decided what you will wear?

Charu.

Hurry up, Charu.

Which one? This one or that one?

No.

No, I'm not wearing that.

No way.

Hello, Mr. Chopra. That too early!

That's great. That's great.

Meet my wife, Nikki.

Look, how scantily dressed she is.

Hello, Mr. Chopra.

Whats up with your paunch?

Did you eat your children?

Yes, they weren't doing

their homework. Hence I..

Oh, hi. I'm a model from abroad.

I just got imported from Germany.

I love Lord Ganesha.

Hello, I'm KC.

Amy.

Hi.

I've seen you somewhere.

Didn't like the pickup line?

Do you want to

start a joint account?

I don't smoke.

No, really. I don't smoke.

As I child I wanted

to be a gynaecologist.

But nowadays I am

considering an MBA.

In the meanwhile I'm

squandering my father's money.

That's my daddy dearest.

Mr. Rajeshwari Chaudhary.

Hail Goddess.

And that's my dad.

Mr. Anand Jaishankar.

Wiping his hand

discreetly after every handshake.

He's so OCD.

You mean OCDK.

What?

Anyway, he's a bit fake,

but I love him.

Is that your mom?

No, that's my step mom.

They have been

together since 3 years.

Poor thing.

It's not her fault.

She was born ugly.

She is not that bad.

My mom's prettier.

I'm sure she is.

'It's been 12 years

since I met my mom.'

'They keep her

locked up in a tiny room.'

'I miss her so much.'

'My sister is the only one I

get along with, in my family.'

'She's been in a

wheelchair since childhood.'

'You know, my mom

has a beautiful smile.'

'She looks just like me.'

'Actually, I look just like her.'

'You don't like Mumbai?'

'I like LA more.'

'There's a Holi party

at my place, day after

'Let's make Mumbai

colourful for you.'

'We just met. Let

me think about it.'

'You'll come. I know you will come.'

What's going on?

Rajesh?

Hollywood. 10:
00am. My place.

'Holi' party.

See you there.

Want to play?

- No thanks.

Watch and learn.

Oh, sh*t.

Happy 'Holi'.

Enjoy. Enjoy.

New in town? Bored as hell.

Looking for some Indian spice.

Do you have a boyfriend?

- No.

Can I try?

Where's KC?

- KC?

Why KC when you have Parsee?

What?

Seriously, we are a dying breed.

Screw the tigers save the Parsees.

I can be KC.

KC 2.0.

Seriously.

- Seriously.

Where is KC?

- Like, where's KC?

The fish..

Okay.

Does it take this long to get beer?

It's recycled. Will it do?

Amrita Jaishankar. Tanya.

Tanya. Amrita Jaishankar.

You can also call her Amy.

quiz her if you like.

I need to get myself a drink.

- Hi.

So, Hollywood.

How many guys have you slept with?

Do you eat crows?

Is the word 'brother' a

relationship or an abuse.

What do you think? We like you?

Is the word 'brother' a

relationship or an abuse.

Where does one apply

Himani Navratna oil?

Okay. Enough. Enough.

You know, Hollywood..

..friends are of two kinds.

Some you can call at 2:00am.

And you know that they

will be there for you.

And then the ones whom

you ONLY call at 2:00am.

You must have read the

forwarded emails right?

So, you know that there are

seven rules of friendship.

We have one more rule.

Screw all the rules, no rules.

Yes, there is one thing.

There is one thing.

Just one rule. Trust.

Trust.

Trust.

You know, Hollywood,

trust is like balls. Balls.

It doesn't really

matter if you have them.

But if you don't have them..

..you can't play.

I don't promise that

we will be there..

..to help you solve

all your problems.

Because that's not going to happen.

But as long as you are with us,

you will not have any problems.

And that is a promise.

Do you know how to swim?

- Yes.

'After KC's long

boring speech, I realised..'

'..why people are so

violent during riots?'

'Because being a part of something

makes you feel so powerful.'

'Earlier, I used to

feel that life is a wait.'

'A long boring wait.'

'Now I feel life is like a movie.'

'So what if it's boring.

You can at least forward it.'

Do you have a girlfriend?

She's dead.

Did you kill her?

No.

No!

Zubin.

Oh, sh*t.

Perfect.

Yes.

Is it love?

With KC?

Come on, man. She's sweet.

She's very down-market.

You are so cute when you lie.

Are you hitting on me?

What do you see in him anyway?

I see myself in him.

Then you don't need KC.

you need a mirror.

Arvind! Are you crazy?

You are out on bail.

We won't gain anything

by doing something here.

Let's go to the

commissioner's office tomorrow.

Where are you going? Wait.

Arvind! Arvind!

Where is sir?

- Sir is upstairs.

Enjoy the party, buddy.

Please go. Don't bother me.

Have some more.

- Enough. Enough. I'm already full.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes